What Canada Post could have been

Once again Canada Post is in the headlines. Contract time with CUPW, so we get the predictable sob-fest about how Canada Post loses gazillions of dollars every day and therefore can’t afford to pay its workers a living wage. Over the decades that we’ve been watching the never-ending death-spiral, I think the government missed a couple of key opportunities to make Canada Post into something far more relevant. Canada Post has a mandate to provide mail service to every community in the country. That’s a high bar, and an expensive one. The government-appointed CEO has a different mandate; cut costs. That conflict in mandates led to some hilarious moments. Deepak Chopra was CEO when “Community mailboxes” were being brought in as a cost-cutting measure. Instead of having mail delivered to your door, you could walk to wherever Canada Post planted your community mailbox. That might be half a block away or ten blocks away. Needless to say, this initiative was way more popular with Deepak’s political bosses than with his customers. Nevertheless, Deepak claimed he was inundated with calls from grateful seniors, delighted to be given a reason to walk a few blocks and get some exercise! But I digress. What were those opportunities that might have changed the trajectory of Canada Post? In the first place, in the course of bringing postal service to every community in the land, why could Canada Post not have also provided banking services to all those places too? It’s a well established fact that smaller, out-of-the way communities in rural Canada lack adequate banking. It’s an equally well established fact that poor neighborhoods lack banking facilities. Of course they do! How is a bank gonna make a buck in a poor neighborhood? Instead, the “banking” has been replaced by predatory cheque-cashing joints. Pairing mail service with banking services is hardly a new idea, it’s been the norm in many countries for decades. Secondly, consider the totally inept way legal cannabis was rolled out. In my opinion, the entire exercise was a massive boondoggle designed to throw the biz to Bay Street. Why could they not have made Post Offices the official pot retailers? After all, there’s already a Post Office (and bank) in every community! Once you’ve got the Post Office, bank, and pot dispensary, you’ve got the makings of a community hub! That would have worked wonders for community cohesion. Alas, that would have required political will on a scale not seen since we build a trans-continental railroad. Those days are gone. People who had vision and could get things done have long since given way to management apparatchiks like Deepak Chopra, who are fully convinced that providing shittier service at a lower cost is something to celebrate. After all, that’s the key to their annual bonus and their next promotion.

Move over Uncle Sam; here comes Dudley Do-Right

Globe and Mail star pontificator Doug Saunders had an alarming op-ed in the paper today. Given that the ignorant masses in the USA have just elected a fascist president, the Free and Democratic World obviously needs fresh leadership, and it’s time for us Canadians “and our allies” to step up. Yessiree, the future of democracy depends on us! And our allies… You know; Germany, France, UK… Looks to me like our allies are all having existential crises. Olaf the liver sausage’s government just collapsed. Macron is barely hanging on, mainly via procedural chicanery, and the UK, of all the Nations of Virtue, is clearly winning the race to failed-state status. Which leaves us Canadians to shoulder the burden of leadership of the Free and Democratic World. Doug admits that’s gonna be expensive. But he assures us it’s a worthwhile endeavor. After all, there is nothing more important than ramping up our military capability so we can fight those evil-doers who threaten the Free and Democratic World. Like Russian and China and Iran and North Korea… Yup, we and our allies have no greater challenge than whupping the bad guys on the battlefield! So full speed ahead on hundreds of billions in spending on F-35s and warships and rockets and missiles and bombs! Ya, we’ll have to make some sacrifices, but health care, education, and housing aren’t worth shit if you don’t have Freedom.

Democracy Theater lays an egg

You have to feel for those folks gathered at Howard on the evening of the 5th, imagining they were there for Kamala’s victory party. They were pumped to celebrate the victory of Democracy over Fascism. Diversity over white supremacy. Compassion and empathy over boorish self interest… Alas, it was not to be. Even though Kamala had more billionaires on her team (over eighty, as opposed to a mere four dozen or so for Trump), Trump had the biggest billionaire of all in his corner. Elon. Isn’t it odd that our deep-state-adjacent media can’t acknowledge that no billionaire is more deep-state-adjacent than Elon Musk? No! We’re supposed to believe he’s some sort of rogue actor posing a threat to our “democratic norms!” As if! And here’s another oddity. If you take a tour of foreign, ie non-Western news platforms, they all talk about this crazy conspiracy theory that there’s a genocide going on in Gaza. We in the Nations of Virtue, thanks to our free press, are fully aware that what the antisemites call “genocide” is just Israel defending itself. And it’s obviously true, because how else could Kamala, with her 83 billionaire backers, and Trump with his 50 or so, and the Billionaire of Billionaires, Elon himself, all come to the same conclusion?

How Trump can stop two wars on Day One

I did a little research and found out Trump's pad there in Florida has 126 rooms. Surely he can spare a few rooms for a couple of world leaders on the lam. Just about the only obstacle to ending the carnage in the Middle East is the Greatest Leader Since Moses. He needs to keep the war going. Otherwise, emergency powers would end, he'd be forced to call an election, and would have to face the multiple corruption charges that await him. Let's make it easy for him; a suite of rooms at Mar-a-Lago. No trial ever! And the beach is right out the front door, with the added bonus that it's out of range of terrorist drones, unlike his place in Caesarea. Just about the only obstacle to ending the carnage in Ukraine is Winston Mandela Zellensky. He can't negotiate with Putin because his Azov pals would hang him from the nearest lamp post. Send in the Marines and whisk the poor sod outta there. Another suite of rooms for Zelly and the misses, and, no matter how you look at it, Trump's still got at least 100+ rooms for his clan. Sure, having those whiners hanging around would get tired fast, but let's face it. It's a small price to pay for peace.

Bibi wastes no time sucking up to Trump

Netanyahu believes he won the US election, which is highly ironic, because he certainly couldn’t win one in Israel these days! I hope Donald doesn’t get roped in by the flattery in that arse-kissy congratulatory social media post Bibi put out this morning for all the world to see. Time for Donny J to get in touch with his inner mafia boss; remember when Bibi back-stabbed you by being the first to congratulate Sleepy Joe when he stole 2020 from you? Ya, and now that you’re (quite unexpectedly) back, he’s already smothering your butt-cheeks with kisses. Don’t fall for it! Tell him, Donald, “YOU’RE FIRED!” After all, Netanyahu is the most hated man in Israel these days, or at least the most hated Jew. IDF troops are dying every day so Bibi can keep his ass out of jail. Thousands have been injured in the ground invasion of Lebanon which is hardly a month old. The Litani river is farther away than ever. If it was up to Gallant, there would have been a ceasefire last Christmas and not only that, the hostages would be home. Alas, that would be the end of Netanyahu’s political career, so ixnay on that! Gallant was against the ground invasion, as were many in the upper echelon of the IDF. Many senior IDF people would rally around a plan to rid their country of Bibi. You’re the Boss of Bosses now, Donald. Make it happen!

A Trump victory would endanger your freedom to jerk off! Vote for Kamala!

Right after Kamala was anointed heir to the throne by the Dem party bigs, ie the senior party worthies and their billionaire donors, we saw the “mainstream media” erupt in a geyser of pro-Kamala euphoria. Kamala was “brat,” whatever that means. The brat thing lasted about three days, and by then Kamala had the “joy” thing going on. One thing is as authentic as the next, I suppose… I’ve been struggling to figure out what differences there might be if the forces of light happen to steal another election from the Trumpian forces of darkness. In terms of foreign policy, can’t say I see any daylight between them. Ya, I see the Dems still pretending they’re with Zelensky with “whatever it takes for as long as it takes.” Even Zelly is realizing his allies don’t have what it takes in the first place, let alone for as long as it takes. The Dems are happy enough to pin this catastrophic collapse of US prestige on the GOP. Meanwhile, in the other existential crisis, the donkey and the elephant have both sworn ironclad allegiance to Israel. Whatever it takes for as long as it takes, and this time we’re not joking around. So the only differences that can possibly matter are found in domestic politics. What are the differences in domestic policies? Well, one party dares to stand up for the gender confused, while the other party mocks them. One party advocates for the rights of women with wieners, while the other party mocks them. One party advocates for reparations for… just about everything, while the other party mocks them. Then there’s those “White dudes for Harris,” the cringiest election ads of all time. How about that white dude having a wank under the sheets, with no idea Kamala’s film crew were in the room, and even more shockingly, no idea that a Trump government would outlaw masturbation and confine the Onanists to prison camps! Oh my God! This is truly the most consequential election ever! Vote Kamala!