Has-been actor Jim Carrey makes come-back as political pundit

I guess it's really really tough to give up your fifteen minutes. So while it's been a few years since Carrey rocked the box office, he's rocking the world 'o punditry on pretty much a daily basis.

I especially like this insight; "from Shining City to Evil Empire in 500 days."

Huh?

I'm not disputing the Evil Empire part...

It's just that I have a lot of trouble remembering the "Shining City on a Hill."

Was that when America did this?



Or this?



Or this?



C'mon, Jimbo, 'splain to us again about that "Shining City On a Hill."


Sorry Dude; America has been an evil empire for a lot longer than 500 days.

Here's a conspiracy theory for you

I call it the Intelligent Dandelion theory.

I figure the grass-seed cartel, in cahoots with Monsanto and the Chinese lawnmower manufacturers, have developed an intelligent dandelion. When it senses the lawnmower approaching, the intelligent dandelion will lie down. Sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for a day or two.

But then they get up again!

Yup, within a day or two of cutting the grass, your lawn looks like you don't even own a mower.

This insight came to me whilst I was fiddling with assorted lawnmower parts on the front stoop. My piece-of-shit mower, barely into its third season of grass-cutting, puked out the string you pull to start it.

Now, we all know about planned obsolescence...

What, you got two full years out of that thing? Excellent!

Buy a new one!

Well, I'm not falling for that crap. How hard can it be to replace a piece of pull-cord?

As it turns out, a lot harder than you'd think. They've got the tiniest springs and gizmos and whatsits in there. Half of them are held in place by gravity, which is fine till you take things apart and turn them upside down. Then you've got a random rainshower of mechanical miscellany falling to the ground.

But I persevered! Took an hour and a half, but I can start that piece of shit again, and that recoil spring pulls the string in far enough that I can restart it - not as far as it used to, but what the hell.

The lawnmower starts!

Canada unveils Feminist Pipeline Policy

A message from The Honourable Jim Carr

Minister of Natural Resources

Peace and prosperity and abundant cheap energy are every person’s birthright. Today, as Canadians, we have a great opportunity to help the people of the world’s developing countries join the global middle class and the multilateral system that supports it.

It is worth reminding ourselves why we step up—why we devote time and resources to foreign policy, trade, defence and development: Canadians are safer and more prosperous when more of the world shares our bitumen and our values.

Those values include feminism and the promotion of the rights of women and girls.

It is important—and historic—that we have a prime minister and a government proud to proclaim themselves as feminists. Women’s rights are human rights. This includes sexual and reproductive rights—and the right to access safe and reliable fossil fuels. These rights are at the core of our foreign policy and our pipeline policy.

I am delighted to announce that we are launching Canada’s first Feminist Pipeline Policy,  which targets gender equality and the empowerment of women and girls. We are positioning Canada at the forefront of this global effort. This is a matter of basic justice and also basic economics. We know that empowering women with affordable fossil fuels, overseas and here at home, makes women and girls and the LGBTQ2 community more prosperous.

Now is the time to rise to the great pipeline challenges of this century. Our job today is to preserve the pipelines of previous generations and to build on them, twin them, extend, and expand them.

Only then can the women and girls of the world be assured of the prosperity that pipeline contractors too often take for granted.

Funerals

Seems you go to more of them as you get on in years.

Shit, I can recall going decades without attending a funeral!

No more. Today we went to Una Dennison's funeral. I think we met her once; at her grandson's wedding.

But we're tight with the family; hence, we had to go.

Una had quite a life. Came from a tiny village in Quebec. Overcame adversity again and again. Never complained, always persevered. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Una may have gone to her reward, but her great-grand-kids stole the show with their antics on the carpet of the funeral home.

And that's how it goes... you bid farewell to the elders as a new generation rises up.


Let's just hope they do a better job of stewarding this planet than our generation did.

Why Jews matter and Indians don't in the best democracy money can buy

Native Americans and American Jews each account for about two percent of the US population.

Why is it, then, that American Jews have an outsized voice in American politics, and American Indians have practically no voice at all?

It's because this is the best democracy money can buy.


When's the last time you read about an American Indian making a multiple-million dollar contribution to some aspiring political candidate's PAC?


Case closed...

But doesn't it warm your heart to know that this is the best democracy money can buy?

POTUS Donny J gifts presidential pardon to Jack Johnson; could Leonard Peltier be next?

Everything old is news again!

Folks have been lobbying the Oval Office for well over half a century trying to get a presidential pardon for Jack Johnson, with no results. You'd think the first black president might have had a soft spot in his heart for the first black heavyweight champ, but apparently not.

But today Donny J done the deed!

Is this because Mr. Trump likes black folks more than Obama did?

Of course not!

It's because this particular black dude has a white A-list Hollywood star advocating for him. That's something Trump understands.

That's why I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for Peltier's pardon. Ever since Marlon Brando went to his reward, Native Americans haven't had a white A-list Hollywood star in their corner.

Elsewhere in everything old is news again, I see where the Grassy Narrows mercury poisoning scandal is back from the grave. This was a major news story from the mid-seventies to the mid-eighties, when the government of the time negotiated a settlement between the owners of the offending paper mill and the First Nations people they were poisoning.

That was the end of that. For thirty years.

But now the story is back. Looks like just because the story disappeared, the mercury in the water didn't. We "solved" the problem by ignoring it. Can't imagine we'd ignore mercury in Toronto water that long. But Grassy Narrows?..


Systemic racism doesn't get more systemic than that!

Time changes everything

You've no doubt heard that time heals all wounds.

And no doubt you've heard the corollary of that; time wounds all heels.

That came to me while I was reminiscing about Buddy, the German Shepherd I had when I lived in Durham. I grew up with dogs, and I'd had other dogs before Buddy, but Buddy was the first dog I'd been soley responsible for as an independent adult.

I used to leave Buddy in the garage during the day when I headed off to work. Spring came along, and now and then, if it wasn't forecast to rain, I'd leave him outside, tethered to the deck.

One night I came home, and Buddy was tether-free, awaiting my arrival. Also awaiting my arrival was a hysterical phone message from the neighbour behind, about how Buddy had attacked her daughter and dragged her down the street by her hair...

Well!

Without waiting to hear Buddy's side of the story, I immediately gave him a bad-dog thrashing.


On calm reflection, with the passage of time, it dawned on me that Buddy could not be guilty as charged.

Not that he wasn't guilty. I fully understand and acknowledge that he may have dragged that kid down the street by her hair... but he was just playing!

Those neighbour kids behind used to cut through my yard on the way to school. In hindsight, I should have taken that into consideration. But I didn't. Nobody's perfect.

Those kids had a good relationship with Buddy. I imagine that a couple of hours after I left for work, he was thrilled to see them coming through!

And they would have been thrilled to see him too! Possibly thrilled enough to let him off his tether.

At which point Buddy's exuberance may have got the better of him... hence that unfortunate phone message.

I thought things were OK between me and Buddy after that, and for awhile they appeared to be. I even got him little Charlie, a black lab cross, as a playmate to while away those long hours in the garage,

Then one day, when we'd taken our morning ramble through the Durham Conservation park and into the countryside beyond, Buddy disappeared.

He disappeared right around a deer yarding area, and I assumed he'd just got busy chasing deer.

I always hoped he'd come home, and he sort of did.

Three or four weeks after Buddy went missing, me and Charlie were heading off on our morning walk, and there, stretched out on the walking path right in front of us in the dim light of an early morning, was good old Buddy!

I was thrilled!

I didn't make too big a deal of it. No "bad dog" shit on account of having gone missing for a few weeks. I just let things ride.

Alas, Buddy only lasted a few more days with us; he disappeared for good the next time we passed that deer yard.

I figure that on his first awol, after getting tired of chasing deer, he'd found a local farmer who knew a good dog when he saw one, and fed Buddy accordingly.

That would have seemed a much better deal than being cooped up in the garage all day, with or without his new pal Charlie.


I think Buddy just came back to say goodbye.