Happy Canada Day!!!

It’s all good! We are fighting the forces of evil with our alliance of good buddies, the “Nations of Virtue,” also known as the EU, NATO, or amongst the cynics; Uncle Sam’s bumboys. But it’s all good. The leader of the Free World put on a tutorial the other night about what “democracy” really looks like. It looks to me like an over-the-hill carpet-bagger doubling down on a losing hand. But what do I know? The experts at the die-hard DNC affiliates assure me Joe just had a bad night. We’re not gonna judge the Biden campaign on the basis of 90 minutes of cringe TV, are we? Of course not! Just because Genocide Joe had a bad night in a debate doesn’t mean American Power and American Values don’t rule the world. Forsooth! Look at how our values are enabling Peace in the Middle East! And look at how our commitment to fight Putin to the last Ukrainian has panned out. We’re almost to the last Ukrainian, but Ukraine is still winning! Just a few more months and a few more hundreds of billions, and Putin will be nothing but crumbs in the bottom of the NATO toaster!… Or maybe not… but let’s stay positive! Canada is famous for “punching above our weight” etc. I’m not sure what it’s called when you’re in over your head and no longer landing any punches, but it looks to me like in Ottawa they call that “standing with our allies.” So let us stand with our ally Israel’s genocide, and by all means, let’s put our economy on a war footing so we can help Ukraine save democracy! Or, just for the sake of saving our Canada, lets find an off-ramp real soon.