Saturday, August 10, 2024

CNN reports latest US mission to restore democracy in Haiti going great!

Haiti is one of those shithole countries where they just can’t get democracy right, no matter how much Canada, France, and the USA try to help them. And look how we help; that Aristide fellow got himself democratically elected not once, but twice! That’s why Haiti is doomed. They just don’t know enough to elect the right candidate. Twice we had to remove the democratically elected Aristide in order to allow true democracy to flourish. How is such a thing possible? I figure the problem is that Haiti doesn’t have a resident billionaire class. Their super-rich tend to prefer Miami or Montreal or Switzerland. That’s why their attempts at democracy repeatedly fail. Look at the greatest democracy in the world. USA has the most billionaires anywhere, which is why their democracy functions like a well-oiled machine. If Haiti had a responsible billionaire class, Aristide would still be a country priest in some God-forsaken rural parish, and some Juan Guido-type character acceptable to Canada, France, and above all, the USA, would be leading a prosperous democracy! Anyway, it’s not too late to turn Haiti’s ship of state around. True, things have really gone down the shitter since the failure of the last Haiti salvation mission, which, instead of bringing democracy and prosperity, brought only a cholera epidemic thanks to the saviours shitting in the drinking water. This time the Kenyans are in charge! Yup, Uncle Sam saw things were going seriously askew in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and lobbied desperately for some vassal state to step in and restore order. Both Canada and France declined, causing a desperate search for some desperate (preferably majority black) country to take the lead role in the newly-created Multinational Security Support mission, or MSS. The original Kenyan deployment has been in-country for a few weeks now. They’re still training (don’t shit in the drinking water) and waiting for their back-ups from a handful of Caribbean nations also keen on wheedling a few bucks out of Uncle Sam’s purse. CNN has a world exclusive on view today. They actually interviewed the current non-elected PM Conille, the first international media to do so! Conille is very optimistic that, if America comes through with its promises of whatever it takes for as long as it takes, democracy and prosperity will follow! I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

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