Diplomatic world baffled as Canada names PM's gardener as next ambassador to Netherlands

The head gardener at 24 Sussex Drive was today announced as the next Canadian Ambassador to the Netherlands.

Dietrich Van Dijk has been Chief Groundskeeper at the PM's residence since John Diefenbaker hired him in 1958.

Opposition critics were quick to point out that Mr. Van Dijk is 92 years old and may not have the faculties to stay on top of the harried agenda of a diplomatic posting.

A spokesman for the PMO wasted no time in debunking those claims.

" Mr. Van Dijk has been punching above his weight for well over fifty years. And he really knows tulips. They have a lot of gardens in Holland, and especially a lot of tulips. The Prime Minister has every confidence that this appointment will enhance Canada's prestige in  the Low Countries and also in the High Countries of Europe. After all, it's not as if our Ambassadors are expected to do anything."

Canada names PM's housekeeper next ambassador to Saudi Arabia

The PMO today announced that Maria Cristina Reyes will be Canada's next ambassador to Saudi Arabia. 

Reyes has been head of housekeeping at 24 Sussex drive since 2006. During her tenure she is credited for whipping the housekeeping staff into shape. 

"Under Reyes the housekeeping staff at the PM's residence became an elite unit," an anonymous staffer said, "they can hold their own with any housekeepers in the world and they often punch above their weight."

The PMO spokesman dismissed opposition claims that Reyes status as an undocumented Filipino disqualified her from taking a diplomatic post.

"The fact that Filipino housekeepers make up a substantial percentage of the Saudi population makes Maria uniquely qualified for this assignment, and we consider her a more than able candidate to represent Canada's interests in Saudi Arabia and the broader Arab world."