Sunday, October 11, 2015

Pro sports; the hoax we love

I was one of millions who watched the Blue Jays pull their collective chestnuts out of the fire tonight.

Like, what was going on there? Is Gibbons playing serious head-games, or is he just making shit up? Warming up Price and then not using him?

See what I mean? The Jays avoid elimination, thereby guaranteeing at least one more sold-out stadium, and we act like it matters?

This is a special time of the year for sports fans. You've got your NFL, CFL, NHL, NBA all getting started or well underway, while MLB is just peaking. NASCAR is on the home stretch, as is F1 and the PGA. Every single one of those acronyms represents an outfit that's in the business of profiting from our deification of professional athletes.

Seems that faux pas by Harold Reynolds is almost getting more attention than the Jay's win. Reynolds made an offhand remark in the course of the broadcast that "Canadian's don't play a lot of baseball" or something. Ironically, it was just yesterday that I was revelling in my baseball played.

So how is it that this game I played in the school-yard fifty years ago can fill stadiums and make us feel it matters who wins?

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Let's go Blue Jays; let's play ball!

Have to admit the magic of baseball pretty much eluded me from the get go.

Ya, back in my Elora Public School days we used to rush out to the playground at recess and play something called "scrub."

A little later in life I was the pitcher for my slo-pitch team in Saint John New Brunswick. We were sponsored by the brewery up the road. Man, did I ever pitch extra slow just for them!

I remember that shit like it happened yesterday!

We have a happy summer of beer and baseball, and suddenly the guy who has been throwing the ball all year just fucking chokes!

Ya, that was me.

How you can fuck up pitching in a slo-pitch baseball game is something I cannot understand to this day.

But I did it!

So it can happen to anybody...

When my Kawasaki tips over

I'm lying in the grass behind the woodshed. My Ninja 500 is lying on top of me.

It's a very pleasant autumn day; blue skies, the horizon festooned with leafs of many changing colours and all that shit...

But I'm flat out on the ground and there's a fucking motorcycle on top of me.

I thought I'd give that Ninja 500 a good wring-out before putting her away for the winter.

Obviously the Ninja had other ideas...

I am so glad I don't own a 700 pound Harley!

The mysterious minders of the world wide web

Turkey (the country) should be big in the news today.

Turkey (the bird) IS big news today, at least here in Canada.

But it seems really tough to get solid news out of Turkey (the country) today.

What would account for the dearth of Turkish news on this most newsworthy day in Turkey?

After all, has there not been a terrorist attack in the heart of the capital of NATO's only Islamic member?

And should that not be double plus newsworthy?

Dump Harper? There's an app for that...

My personal inclination about October 19 is to just not vote.

That's what I usually do at election time,

It just encourages the bastards, as a certain right-wing friend has been saying all along.

But I think we have a chance to make a difference.

I like Larry Miller. I ran into him just the other day at the liquor store in Wiarton. We exchanged pleasantries.

At the end of the day, though, Larry is nothing more than Big Steves's minion in these parts.

So while there may not be an actual app yet, I'm sure some geeks are working on it. There is already a movement afoot to get an anybody but Larry thing going.

And while I'm inclined to vote for Ms. May, were I inclined to vote, this new idea of combining votes to rid the nation of the Harper scourge makes a lot of sense,

Sorry Larry...

And if there's not an app for that yet, there'll be one soon.

Who told you Turkey was heading down the terror toilet?

Things aren't going that great for the wily Erdogan these days.

The dumbfucks at the think-tank here at Falling Downs certainly saw this coming.

Turkey is a NATO member that is on its way to becoming a failed state. That's mainly because the wily Erdogan has paid way too much heed to the counsel of his NATO betters.

"Just give it a little push, and the Assad regime will collapse," they told him.

The wily but not all that smart Erdogan took his NATO betters at their word. He stabbed his former regional bestie in the back. He kept stabbing...

But, the think tankers here at Falling Downs do not necessarily deem the current state of affairs the complete disaster it appears to be.

The Masters of the Universe have been holding Fethulla Gulen in their back pocket for years...

And not for nothing.