Where's an American Sniper when you need one?

I'm watching Katy Perry flying around the Super Bowl half-time show on a spark-shittin' hang-glider, and all I can think is, where the hell is a sniper when you need one?

You gotta admit, though, that nobody does schlock like America does schlock!

Schlock, spectacle...  spectacular schlock!

Can't touch this, Putin!

Don't even bother tryin'...