A Trump victory would endanger your freedom to jerk off! Vote for Kamala!

Right after Kamala was anointed heir to the throne by the Dem party bigs, ie the senior party worthies and their billionaire donors, we saw the “mainstream media” erupt in a geyser of pro-Kamala euphoria. Kamala was “brat,” whatever that means. The brat thing lasted about three days, and by then Kamala had the “joy” thing going on. One thing is as authentic as the next, I suppose… I’ve been struggling to figure out what differences there might be if the forces of light happen to steal another election from the Trumpian forces of darkness. In terms of foreign policy, can’t say I see any daylight between them. Ya, I see the Dems still pretending they’re with Zelensky with “whatever it takes for as long as it takes.” Even Zelly is realizing his allies don’t have what it takes in the first place, let alone for as long as it takes. The Dems are happy enough to pin this catastrophic collapse of US prestige on the GOP. Meanwhile, in the other existential crisis, the donkey and the elephant have both sworn ironclad allegiance to Israel. Whatever it takes for as long as it takes, and this time we’re not joking around. So the only differences that can possibly matter are found in domestic politics. What are the differences in domestic policies? Well, one party dares to stand up for the gender confused, while the other party mocks them. One party advocates for the rights of women with wieners, while the other party mocks them. One party advocates for reparations for… just about everything, while the other party mocks them. Then there’s those “White dudes for Harris,” the cringiest election ads of all time. How about that white dude having a wank under the sheets, with no idea Kamala’s film crew were in the room, and even more shockingly, no idea that a Trump government would outlaw masturbation and confine the Onanists to prison camps! Oh my God! This is truly the most consequential election ever! Vote Kamala!

What if there's no "happy ending?"

One thing we generally take for granted here in the Nations of Virtue, is that the story always culminates in a “happy ending.” At least a happy ending for us. No matter how many towelheads die, as long as we killed more of them than they of us, it’s a happy ending! Unfortunately, reality is kicking the shit out of our ‘happy ending’ fantasies. No matter how hard establishment twats like Timothy Snyder try to paint the Ukrainian pig with lipstick, the fact remains that, almost three years in, NATO is losing its proxy war on Russia, Too bad half a million Ukrainians had to die to prove NATO’s ineptitude and incompetence. To say nothing of another million or so crippled either physically or mentally in this disastrous war we pushed Ukraine into. And then there’s the Holy Land front in America’s desperate attempt to keep top spot in the world order. The perennial favorite of American largesse, the only democracy in the middle east, isn’t winning in Gaza, isn’t winning in the West Bank, and isn’t winning in Lebanon. How much “not winning” do you acknowledge before you admit you’re losing? It gets harder by the day to imagine a happy ending...

Have you heard Trump is the new Hitler?

I’ll bet you have, and I’ll further bet you’ll hear it plenty more in this last week, as America’s Democracy Theatre approaches its denouement. At least till ‘28, but don’t worry, the campaigning for the next election will begin before all the votes are counted for this one. Democracy is not only a sacred trust and a gift from God; it is a cash cow, a viable industry in its own right. Just think of how many people would be out of work if we didn’t have a 10 billion dollar election every four years! If Trump wins and cancels all future elections, whatever will those hordes of election consultants do? Well, here is the beauty of Trump’s plan, and I’m sure Hitler would approve. While he’s cancelling all future elections, Trump will simultaneously deport millions of illegal alien agricultural workers. All those freshly unemployed social science grads who used to make the wheels of democracy go round, will now be picking your fruits and vegetables! Nevermind Hitler; this page is straight outta Mao’s Little Red Book, the page where he sent the intelligentsia to the hinterlands to… pick fruits and vegetables! And also to learn some humility. Truth be told, those who survived their re-education were stronger for it, proving again the old adage; “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” So rest easy, all you hand-wringing, pearl-clutching American yuppie liberals; if Trump don’t kill ya, you’ll come out stronger! Stay strong!

Stop blaming Israel for the genocide in Gaza

The Israel of Netanyahu today can be likened to a mad dog terrorizing its neighborhood. As any responsible dog owner can tell you, dogs are not inherently vicious. They are made to be vicious by the actions of their irresponsible masters. It should surprise no one that reports of antisemitism worldwide have spiked in the year since Israel launched its rampage. What baffles me is the absence of a corresponding spike in anti-Americanism. America is, after all, the master of this mad dog terrorizing the Middle East. It provisions the bombs and the bullets, the money and the political cover that enable the ongoing genocide. America could, if it so chose, put its attack-dog back on the leash. Instead, we have watched for over a year as they play a pathetic charade of pretending to work, tirelessly, “night and day,” to secure an ever-elusive ceasefire. Everybody from UN ambassador Linda Thomas-Greenfield to Kamala to Blinken to Genocide Joe himself have assured us over and over again how their hearts break over all those dead babies in Gaza. Bullshit! It’s time for people of goodwill to stop yelling at the dog and take the matter up with its owner.

You can't bullshit welding

Like you can a lot of professions. I spent 25 years as an "educator." Bullshit can take you a long way in that arena! Not so with welding. That trailer hitch you welded to the frame of somebodies pick-up is either gonna stay put or cause a bad headline in the local paper. With that in mind, let's take a trip down memory lane. From the archives: Hermeneutics of the welding shop We finally got Bubby into a home.Just temporarily though. She's recovering from a broken wrist on account of her last fall.That's just one of the shit-sucking side-dramas of getting older. You fall. You break stuff.You're in a home.So a couple years ago my old pal Tom had a tree fall and break the roof of his cabin on an island in the middle of a lake out in the Muskokas. Tom and I go way back to when he was an up-and-coming young academic and I was accidentally parked in a fourth year sociology course at the U of G.In fact, we go back even further than that.When I was an up and coming welder-fitter at Kearney National in Guelph, I'd often see Tom handing out commie propaganda at the plant gates. That was common around Guelph in the middle '70s. After all, the Communist Party of Canada got its start in a barn off the Silvercreek Road just behind the General Electric plant.One thing I profoundly respect about the Bubbinator is that all her clan, at least the ones who managed to dodge the death camps in the WW II, came away dyed-in-the-wool commies. Then they washed up on these shores and became entrepreneurs.Capitalists.It's a crazy fucked-up thing, but when you talk to elderly Jews you'll find a lot of heart-felt respect for socialist ideals, no matter how rich their families got playing the entrepreneurship game in the New World.The reason so many got into the entrepreneur game was because that was the most viable path open to them, especially if you arrived here from Russia or Poland without the benefit of a serious education. Interestingly enough, most of your Jewish entrepreneurs who made it big in the New World came from Eastern Europe where they were denied education opportunities.By contrast, up till the Nazi era, German Jews were, as a class, the most educated Jews and the most educated Germans in all of Europe.But I digress.Tom was in a bit of a flap about fixing the roof of his shack out there on his island in the middle of the Muskokas. He was ready to call in a contractor.Here's something you might want to know about contractors in the Muskokas.First of all, they assume anyone who has property in the Muskokas is filthy rich, and they therefore price their work accordingly.My pal Tom is a humble university professor, rather "poor" by Muskoka standards. He is not seen as a lucrative target to the local contractor community.But he still needs the roof of his cabin fixed. The tree that fell on it fractured a couple of the roof trusses. It wasn't hard to see what the local contractors would recommend; peel off the roof, replace the trusses, replace the roof... you'd get out of that for maybe twenty grand, probably closer to fifty.I got up there and eye-balled the situation. Looked to me like we could jack up the roof, and then through-bolt a couple of pieces of angle iron on the fractured trusses. That would be a "temporary" fix, but "temporary" might mean twenty years.We headed into town to fetch some angle iron.I spent my working years, or at least a goodly percentage of them, working in welding shops large and small, from Saint John Shipbuilding on the east coast to Harjim Machinery Works on Vancouver Island. One thing I know is that you can't bullshit welding. Nor can you bullshit a roof repair on an island in the Muskokas.That roof's gonna stay up or it's gonna fall down.No amount of bullshit will keep it up if the fundamentals of physics say it's gotta fall...Kearney National was a good place to fine-tune my chops. I still remember to this day the lads I learned from and worked with.Dudley. Magician with the pipe bending machine.Cheech Contini. Me and him did some serious boozing in the back shop on the afternoon shift. He taught me how to cover my tracks.Manny in shipping...So me and Tom end up at this little fab shop in Gravenhurst, looking for a few lengths of 1/4 x 3 angle iron with the holes knocked in just so. It's a fab shop that looks just like every other small-town welding joint; everybody who works there looks like they're outlaw bikers waiting for their probation to end.We just wandered in the back door and helped ourselves to the chop-saw and the iron-worker. Buddy at the front desk when we checked out enquired sarcastically whether my flip-flops had steel toes. Ministry of Labour rules or some such horse-shit.I told him ya for sure...Tom got the roof of his cabin fixed for a couple hundred bucks instead of fifty thousand. Last I heard, that roof is still keeping the warm in and the weather out.

Joy leaking out of Harris-Walz campaign fast

That didn’t take long! Seems like just a few weeks ago, when the DNC Star Chamber of billionaire donors anointed Kamala as “the chosen one,” she and Timmy were off on a tear. The mainstream media had a collective orgasm. The Trumpists were fascist weirdos, and were gonna be buried under a landslide Democratic Party triumph powered by Black Joy and unicorn farts. Well, that was then… Now we’ve seen, on that same mainstream media, several weeks worth of both Kamala and her chosen VP exposing themselves as shallow and vacuous. Perhaps there’s a redundancy there; can one be shallow without being vacuous? Or vacuous without being shallow? For instance, if you’re going to invite reporters along on a fake hunting trip, and your media pals expose you as a phony dorkshit who doesn’t even know how to reload his shotgun, does that make you vacuous, shallow, or just fucking stupid? I don’t know, but if you put the problem to a venn diagram, I suspect there’d be a whole lotta overlap amongst all three categories. And how about Kamala! I’ve watched one friendly interview after another, from Oprah three weeks ago to Anderson Cooper last night, and she’s managed to fuck up every single one of them! These are softball interviews with friendlies who want her to win! Kamala truly is the empty vessel those billionaire donors hoped for, but holy shit, not even they could have realized how empty that vessel is. The woman is a moron. Meanwhile, Trump stages a PR stunt at a shut down McDonalds, featuring fake customers, and manages to make it look like the most authentic moment in the entire election campaign. Which it probably was! And that’s the crazy thing in these end days of Empire. The entire world is fully aware of America and her acolytes’ ineptitude, our hypocrisy, our Machiavellian double and triple-dealing. But in our minds, we remain the Nations of Virtue, here to spread US-style freedom and democracy and human rights to the other 4/5ths of the planet, whether they want it or not.

Peace Prize winner demands more war

Of course she does! The Peace Prize winner is none other than Anne Applebaum, professional Putin critic and wife of Poland’s rabidly Russophobic foreign minister. The peace prize she won came from the German Booksellers Association, not the Nobel committee, so I think this story is maybe a bit of an oversell. Nevertheless, it’s interesting that you can gather a group of German elites who applaud the concept of war with Russia. These are the same people who can’t figure out why the “far right” is on the rise. Every anti-war party in Europe is automatically branded “far right.” That way the elites and their subservient media can dismiss them out of hand. They overlook the underlying reality that war fever among the voters of Europe was never acute and is fading fast. Obviously, that can only lead to more “far right” election victories. That’s why the same German elite who applaud the warmongering Applebaum are keen to outlaw the AfD. After all, you can’t have all those far-right Putin-appeasing voters hi-jacking democracy.