I bought a bathtub faucet with 25 pages of instructions

And I never read instructions till all else has failed. We could be in a heap 'o shit here, depending on how things play out. To be fair, it's a bit more than a bathtub faucet. At the heart of it is a substantial brass casting with four connections coming out. Right away I recognize we're in stupid land here, because there's utterly no sound reason to have more than two connections into a faucet, those being the hot and the cold. Anything more is mere status signalling. But if you want a sharp looking shower/tub combo that'll help you keep up with the Jones's, or the Kardashians, you gotta upgrade from the basics. Hence the 25 pages of instructions.

I'm a sixty-year-old woman and I know an asshole when I meet one

I heard those words from the Farm Manager recently. She was referring to a gentleman of our recent acquaintance. Apparently he's got a bad case of toxic masculinity going on. Which could well be the case. I'm a bit up in the air myself over the toxicity of my masculinity, such as it is, and therefore a poor judge of either masculinity or toxicity. Be that as it may, it's very refreshing to hear a sixty-year-old woman assert her asshole-detection skills. And by God, they start honing those skills at a young age, do they not? Remember in grade 3 when you pelted the girl you liked with snowballs at recess? That's an eight-year-old boy showing affection, but that's toxic masculinity right there. That's in grade three. You can imagine how much you've seen and what it looks like by the time you're sixty.

Piss 'n vinegar

You gotta wonder where that saying came from. If it came from someone literally pissing vinegar, I imagine that would sting. You wouldn't want to be pissing too much vinegar for too long. But what is more likely, is our piss 'n vinegar shout-out went to someone building a brand. "Full of piss and vinegar" came to mean a youthfull go-getter who was on track to make something of themselves. There's not an official P&V rating system, but a lot of these folks show up on your "top 40 under 40" lists. They're not so much youthfull go-getters as they are establishment ass-kissers.

The zen of plumbing

The monumentally (emphasis on "mental") ill-advised mission to refit the bathroom continues. Regular readers will recall that this adventure began with a well-intentioned attempt to repair a drippy faucet. Things went from drippy faucet to bathroom armeggedon right quick. But at least we finally got rid of the last galvanized water pipe in this 100 year plus farm house. Today the new bathtub arrived at the end of the drive, a mere three days after the three week delivery window specified in the sales contract. Whatever. At least it's on site now, and I can get on with its precise placement and the fitting of faucets, drains, etc. Back in the old days, I would have called a plumber. But I'm retired now. I got a lotta time on my hands, and I need things to occuppy my time that don't include a screen and a keyboard. Plumbing is actually a necessary condition for civilization, and it should be treated as such. It needs a lot more respect. Pipes that make your sinks work and your toilet flush are the fulcrum on which civilization teeters. If you didn't have plumbing and plumbers, the coders and the programmers and the experts would have to live somewhere else. Either that, or figure out how to install a toilet. Or a bathtub, in my case.

Are the homeless stealing your Amazon Prime deliveries off your porch?

I was at the dog park with Big-Lips Bruno the other day, and was eavesdropping on a couple of gals discussing the matter. Cooper's mom, (Cooper is a handsome shepherd-something cross) was confiding to Karma's mom (Karma is a beautiful American boxer) that she had purchased a new computer. She needed to be home for the day of delivery to make sure the local ravine dwellers didn't bugger off with her new laptop. To which Karma's mom rejoinders that in her neighbourhood, the ravine dwellers grab her shit as soon as it's delivered, to make sure nobody steals it. When she gets home they deliver it back to her in return for a modest tip or a meal. I'm with Karma's mom on this one.

Uncle Sam takes Europe down the garden path

If you heard the words of that tedious mediocrity Borrell recently, you'll appreciate the garden reference. I’m aware my take on the Ukraine war doesn’t follow the mainstream template. Putin desperate to reconstitute a Russian empire? Nah… far more likely; a desperate American empire hoping against all evidence to maintain the status quo. The usual mainstream experts, every one of whom has a vested interest in promoting a particular narrative, have been telling us since February Ukraine is winning the war. The reason they keep telling us that is because America’s rep is on the line here. The entire point of Uncle Sam’s Ukrainian adventure, aside from further enriching the usual suspects, is to demonstrate to the world that the World Boss is still the world boss. That’s been a hard sell ever since the Greatest Military of All Time folded the tent in Afghanistan. Having lost a twenty year battle with semi-literate religious fanatics, Uncle Sam decided to reclaim his mojo by taking on Russia and China. After all, those are autocratic bad-guy states, and America leads the democratic and free world, and therefore we must ensure freedom, democracy, human rights, and US hegemony prevail. This battle for the preservation of America’s global leadership is playing out far away from America’s borders. It’s playing out in Europe. How and why European elites have bought into this scenario is another matter, but this is where we’re at. When Europe realizes the price they’re paying in the battle to preserve American exceptionalism, there may be some hard feelings. No where more than in Ukraine. No less an authority than Henry Kissinger once opined that to be America’s adversary is dangerous, but being America’s friend is deadly.

Drunk Polish farmer blows up load of fertilizer with stray ciggy butt, international incident ensues

The news channels are abuzz with Russia's missile attack on Poland. Al Jazeera has offereed extensive footage of the missile strike zone. If that was the handiwork of the Rooskies, they must have used their smallest missiles. All I see is a farm wagon tipped over, but still attached to the tractor that was towing it at the time of the missile strike. The tractor does not appear to be damaged. What's more likely is there was an unfortunate farm accident in Poland, and it is being used as a talking point to fan WWIII flames. "Oh my God Putin has attacked a NATO member and now they gotta invoke Article 5." Well, even if it was a deliberate Russian missile attack on a remote Polish cornfield, nobody is actually obliged to invoke A 5, and despite the war-whoops coming from the Baltic midgets, there's no chance of Article 5 invocation any time soon.

Canada to lead world in affordable housing

The Globe & Mail informs us this morning that “Ukrainian newcomers face housing challenges.” I’m shocked! Who could have seen that coming? If the white, blonde, and Christian Ukrainians are having difficulties, what of the Somalis, Nigerians, Guatemalans etc. wandering across the border at Roxham Road? And this is before we welcome any of the million new immigrants scheduled to arrive over the next three years. Clearly, our political elite are fashioning a housing crisis of epic proportions. It’s not that the politicians are unaware. There’s not an election cycle goes by at the local, provincial or federal level that leadership candidates don’t regale us with their plans to address the housing crisis. The problem is that our political class conflates talking about problems with solving them. We’ve been refitting our frigate fleet for over ten years. No new frigates on the horizon yet. Ditto fighter aircraft, military helicopters, the government payroll system, and on and on. Talk is cheap; doing stuff costs money. (Although I did learn in today’s paper that MPs are keen to spend $250 millions on a parliamentary tunnel system that will allow them to escape the pitchfork-wielding mobs they expect will visit Ottawa with increasing frequency going forward.) Point is, we can’t live in a politician’s promise. It’s time for action! And what better place to start than that over-looked housing option already favored by many thousands of Canadians; the dumpster. You’ve no doubt passed many of them without even realizing that, especially after dark, these rubbish bins also serve as accommodations. But first we’ll have to destigmatize dumpster living. What self-respecting refugee wants to move to Canada to live in a trash bin? To that end, I’m working on a proto-type 20 yard bin that will have all the comforts of home; fridge, microwave, wi-fi, and composting toilet. What else does anyone need? Once folks see how cozy and economical dumpster living can be, Canada could become a world leader in affordable housing!

Fighting over pizza crusts in democracy's dumpster

Like I mentioned before, it’s hard to find fresh vegetables in a dumpster. Odds are a lot better for pizza crusts and chicken bones. You’d be amazed how much meat gets left on the bones in a barrel of KFC. The world’s greatest democracy treated us to a display of exceptionalism the other day. Democracy in action! Talk about dumpster diving. Does anyone actually believe the trajectory of American Exceptionalism is in any way impacted by the Nov. 8 staging of The Greatest Show on Earth? Biden won because he didn’t lose worse. Trump lost even though he wasn’t running for anything. Democracy won because Biden didn’t lose bigger. America’s face to the world will look exactly the same as it did before. And although miscreants like myself fail to see the appeal of “the American way,” it obviously inspires the world. Ukrainians are willingly, even joyfully, sacrificing themselves for the greater glory of American hegemony, on which the Glory of Ukraine is completely dependent. Across Europe, the man in the street is delighted to make sacrifices for Uncle Sam’s “rules-based-order.” That’s where 800 US military bases in foreign lands impose order according to whatever rules Uncle Sam favors at the moment. (Spoiler alert; Uncle Sam’s rules tend to favor Uncle Sam’s posse.) But it’s all hunky-dory, because if you don’t have freedom and democracy, you got nuthin’. And that’s what keeps me going on a bad day in the dumpster. After a few hours a Little Caesars “hot ‘n ready” is neither hot nor ready. But that’s a small price to pay to live in a democracy. At least we have freedom of speech.

A Black and an Indian climb in the dumpster behind Safeway

Only to find there's already three white dudes in there, scooping up not-so-fresh produce to take home to their families in the tent encampment on the sidewalk a couple blocks away. A discussion immediately breaks out on the theme of representation. The minority claims white privilege enabled the whites to get to the dumpster first. The whites reply they're actually under-represented in the dumpster, thanks to anti-white racism made respectable through quotas and affirmative action. Then one of the white guys, who used to be a Sociology Professor at Phoenix University when Bill Clinton was Chancellor, pointed out the proverbial "elephant in the room." Why are real Indians from India so woefully under-represented in dumpsters, food banks, prisons, and sidewalk campgrounds? By golly, we got us a real sociological mystery here, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it! I'll be applyng for a government grant to study the matter.

Sharkbit

Last time I did any plumbing work around the place, about 15 years ago, I ran my water lines with copper. Real honest-to-god metal on metal connections you made with a torch. That made it essential to get your measurements right. Thanks to the march of progress, it is now possible to make those water line connections without a torch or copper pipe. All you do is stab your plastic pipe into a Sharkbite connector. They're pricey compared to copper connections, but they are simple to attach and detach and are completely re-usable. I fell for the pitch. I made decisions in my bathroom renovation that were kinda based on "if that doesn't work, the connection is easy to undo." Turns out that was a lie. They sell you this stupid little tool for three bucks that's supposed to release the plastic pipe out of the Sharkbit fitting. I took it back and complained. They sold me a twelve dollar tool that works. Did I get my three bucks back for the tool that didn't work? Nope! Sharkbit.

In the post-capitalism post-NATO-Russia-War barter economy, you better have more to trade than your ass

There remains a slim hope that so-called world leaders and their minions, the multitudes of technocrats, political consultants, expert advisors, yes-people, deputies, assistants, frat brothers, ex-lovers, etc., who rule the "free" world know what they're doing. A slim hope, but maybe it's time to give serious thought to the worst case scenario. In the worst case scenario, the shit (American Exceptionalism and all it entails), will sooner or later hit the fan (global disgust with the current world order imposed by the shit). After our billionaire-owned governments collapse, along with the dollar, where are you gonna be at? Unless you've got something to sell or trade, you'll be screwed. If you're living on a government job or a government cheque, life as you've known it is over. Need food? The supermarkets have all been looted and the supply chains trashed. Wanna eat? Head for the country. Folks out there grow FOOD! Alas, with the dollar worthless, what do you have that you can trade to the country folks for the meat and potatoes or rice and beans you need to feed your family? I have a wood-worker friend who makes wooden wagon wheels. There's a lot of Amish communities still use those. They're an integral part of the Amish supply chain. Buddy and his extended family will be dining large as long as he can produce wagon wheels! That'll be generally true for everyone who can provide a product or service people need. Underneath the manifold layers of bureaucracy and parasitic grifting that have destroyed Western civilization, there remains the beating heart of the real economy. That's where people do real stuff; drill wells, dig mines, build homes, grow food, cook food, fix cars, cut hair, and so on. If you've got something to contribute to community survival, you'll be fine. If the only asset you've got is your ass, you're gonna be in trouble. Supply and demand rule in the barter economy, and everybody has an ass. Get yourself some real skills that can't be done from home on your lap-top, and you'll be headed in the right direction.

Jews and Ukraine

I find it hard to believe, given Ukraine's WW2 historical record, that there can be such a thing as a Jewish Ukrainian nationalist. Yet, that is precisely what we are expected to believe. How could there be Nazi's in Ukraine when they elected a Jewish president? Sure. What I find far more plausible is that there might be Jews with historical memories who seek the destruction of Ukraine. Manipulating Ukraine into a catastophic war might be a means to that end. That's exactly what Ihor Kolomoisky has pulled off. He was one of the leading oligarchs plundering Ukraine since independence, and has been Zelensky's sponsor from way back when the Z-man was just another B-list porn star wanna be. Kolomoisky was a media mogul who saw Zelensky's star potential. It's curious that you seldom read anything about him in our mass media. He lives safely in Israel because they never extradite a citizen anywhere for any reason. When you look at what's happening to Ukraine today, you'd almost think someone's revenge dream of destroying the country has come true.

I start my day at Home Depot

At least since the plumbing emergency hit us four days ago. I think there's been good progress. Had water restored to the bathroom by Monday. Unfortunately, I couldn't feed it into anything. More info required, more YouTube videos to watch, and more trips to Home Depot. The trouble with Home Depot is it's an hour round trip. Every other place I lived was withing five minutes of a decent hardware store. Now I'm seeing the other side of country living. Four trips to the hardware store is four hours of your time and a tank of gas before you get the right parts. There is of course an obvious alternative; get the right parts on the first trip. But that's not always possible, especially when you don't know what you're doing and are learning on the go.