Trump to attack Canada, Greenland, Denmark, Mexico, Panama, Venezuela, Mars, and Canis Major

Relax folks! It's just Donny J taking his supercharged ego out for a rip! More than a few sharpies have sniffed out that Trump’s musings about us Canadians are massive interference in our democracy. We all knew the dastardly authoritarian dictatorships, Russia and China, have been interfering relentlessly, and we recently discovered that our fellow former colony, vibrant democratic India, has been in on the action too! But not in our darkest paranoid nightmares did we dream that by far the most egregious threat to our democracy would come from our best friend, benevolent big brother, leader of the democratic world, Uncle Sam. What are we to make of this? There’s a tone of near-panic in the Canadian pundisphere. I even read some idiocy about how Canada’s sovereignty is sacred because Canadians sacrificed their lives and so forth… No, in the imagined glory days of our military prowess, we were fighting for our colonial master, not our sovereignty. I suspect us Canadians will become US Canadians without putting up much of a fight.