Canada to give Canadian Arctic to Trump in return for privilege of becoming 51st state

There’s a certain apprehension when our dimwitted foreign minister unveils a project she’s been “working on for a year.” And here is the result of her long year of intellectual labour. I’ll give you the nitty-gritty, the Coles Notes version, if you will; the Canadian Arctic has been rebranded the North American Arctic! WTF, you say? Calm down… the rebranding just reflects the reality that the previous nomenclature missed, ie that the north coast of the North American land mass is actually the north coast of (and here’s another joly Jolyism) something I’d never heard of before; the North American Homeland! Homeland? That’s another one of those trigger words, like motherland or fatherland, that unleash a powerful urge to break out in goose-stepping around the kitchen table. Really? Of course, this is all because of our pending show-down with Russia and China. Working more closely with our allies, especially the USA, will be essential going forward. To that end, we’re gonna appoint an Arctic Ambassador, who will be an indigenous resident. That’s a bummer of a diplomatic appointment. I mean, it’s not exactly like being posted to London or Paris or New York, is it? I suppose the bright spot is it won’t cost nine million to build an igloo for the official residence. That’s it in a nut-shell. We’re still Canada, but our former Arctic is now the North American Arctic. And we’re now part of a Homeland. Is it just my paranoia, or does anyone else find it suspicious they drop this on us just a week after Fluffy’s pilgrimage to Mar-a-Lago, where Trump suggested we’d make a fine 51st state?