God smites Gulf Coast

They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, but I reckon there’s nothing mysterious about the worst snowstorm in 100 years descending on the Gulf Coast within hours of Trump rebranding the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. Coincidence? You tell me… but I’d say it’s more likely the Almighty is mightily pissed. After all, the Mexicans are a deeply Christian people. In fact, they are so pious that even the cartel bosses have patron saints! In America, on the other hand, mocking God has become a national sport. While Donny J was never a noticeably religious man, he came around when that would-be assassin’s bullet grazed his ear. Donald, the Lord is watching you, so don’t get too big for your britches. Pride goeth before the fall. Stay humble! We’re just glad you didn’t rebrand the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of Trump… that might have unleashed a tsunami instead of a mere snowstorm.