Red Donald wants to make America socialist again

Say it ain't so, Donnnie! You are a hero of US-style bare-knuckle winner-take-all capitalism, a scrappy street-fighter from Queens who turned a modest inheritance of 14,000 high-rise apartment units into a solid second-tier real estate developer. I've been reading some disturbing reports, Donald, and I believe you got some 'splainin' to do. Firstly, what's this nonsense about keeping hedge funds and venture capital out of single-family homes? "People live in houses, corporations don't," the wise-guy-in-chief recently claimed. Oh really? It is by now a well-established fact in American law that corporations are people too! Did you not get the memmo, Donald? Secondly,as is widely acknowledged across the media spectrum, a majority of Americans cannot make ends meet on their paycheques alone, and must rely on their credit cards to tide them over the tight spots. Yet you have recently proposed to hobble the credit card companies who provide this invaluable lifeline by freezing interest rates at 10%! That sounds more Marxist than Trumpist to me, Donald. Thirdly, who in their right mind outside Cuba or communist China would dream of capping CEO pay in the defense sector to a paltry $5 million per year? Holy heck, Donald, there's a Putin pal playing ice hockey a few blocks from the Pentagon who makes double that. Give your head a shake! Finally, and most distressing, is the executive order freezing share-buybacks and dividends among defense contractors. What? This decree strikes at the very heart of the American Way! This is so egregiously anti-American it might as well have been signed by Joseph Stalin himself! What do you think made America great in the first place? Pull yourself together, Donald. If you care about making America great again, you'd best change course, pronto. Otherwise, where's the next generation of American billionaires supposed to come from?