Mothers and beer

Back when I was a teen living under my mother's roof, she had concerns about my beer consumption. In the first place, as a pious Christian woman, the fact her underage teen son could get his hands on the devil's brew pointed to the overal disintegration of society. Not only that, but once her boy had tasted beer, cigarettes and gambling and loose women couldn't be far behind. Well, I generally missed out on the loose women, to my chagrin, and gambling is one vice that I never heard calling my name, but she wasn't wrong about the smokes. And the crazy thing is, now that Mutti is in her nineties and I'm in my seventies, she's more worried than ever about my beer consumption! Obviously, I stayed ahead of the devil's brew long enough to have a career and raise a family, but by God, have things ever gone off the rails since I retired. I suddenly come down with a gluten allergy. Yup, bread and beer are suddenly verboten! Try telling that to a guy who has lived his whole life on bread and beer! I have to say, for all my adult life, I'm sure I never met a sandwich I didn't like. That got Mom overly interested in my diet, so when the next turd dropped into my retirement punch bowl, ie the alleged "congestive heart failure" business, she was primed to unleash a generous dose of motherly love. Long story short, now that I'm an invalid, or if not quite yet, soon, wouldn't it be smart, before you're completely incapacitated, to sell your place way up there and move closer to your family? I don't know Mom... In the first place, once I'm completely incapacitated, I can't imagine it's gonna be you changing my adult diaper. Secondly, it's getting easier to find gluten-free bread and beer. Just today I had a lovely Reuben on gluten-free Pumpernickel from the Boone bakery, and I've been washing it down with a four-pak of Ancestral brand organic quinoa beer, which comes from a brewery not 100 km up the road in Barrie. Anyway, liebe Mutti, the world is becoming a better place,at least for the gluten-free! Looks like I'm gonna try to make a go of it here, at least for the time being. (And in case anyone thinks I'm abandoning my 90-something Mom, know that of her five children, none of the others live more than ten minutes away.)