When Allah triumphs in Timbuktu, can AFRICOM be far behind?

Not likely.

The prophets of American Exceptionalism will be taking exception to this.

Seems the Gaddafi cast-offs and the so-called al-Qaeda of the Maghreb have declared themselves a free and independent Sharia state in the north of Mali.

Not so fast you towel-topped terrorists!

Drones for Jesus will be coming your way soon!

Time was when the Nations of Virtue sent missionaries to the benighted lands.

Now we send drones and the very appropriately named Hellfire missiles.

"Allah has triumphed you say? Here's a little hellfire for His troubles..."

Elsewhere in the Dark Continent that shifty al-Qaeda sympathizer Erdogan has been busy stirring the pot in Somalia.

Seems the wily Turks are trying to rebuild the Ottoman empire right under our noses.

Can't imagine AFRICOM is going to let that slide for long either.

Canadian mining conglomerates breathe easy as Captain Sango sobers up and returns Mali to civilian rule

The dream is over.

Captain Sango's dream of leading his impoverished African republic into a new era.

Sango and his band of fellow travelers seized the levers of power in Mali a week ago after a night of heavy drinking.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Cooler heads have prevailed and Captain Sango has turned the presidential office over to Dioncounda Traore, the speaker of parliament.

That's good news for the Canadian mining companies that account for a big chunk of Mali's GDP.

It's also good news for the Canadian government, which has made Mali a pet foreign aid project.

Canadian profits should be safe and sound for the time being.

Captain Sango's drunken prank goes epicly awry

I kind of know where the poor guy is coming from.

Sometimes, after an evening or a few evenings having a little too much to drink, you come up with plans that, in hindsight, just don't make that much sense.

Let's rob the liquor store.

Let's rig up a jib crane on the roof of the Arts building and hoist Professor Whatshisnames car up there.

Let's drive across the border and fetch 20 suitcases of Bud...

Captain Sango had one of those nights.

Late in the evening of 20 March, Sango and a few of his pals in the Mali officer corps, after more than a few Crown Royals straight up with Coors Lite chasers, decided to overthrow their government.

Now here's the scary bit. It worked.

So on the morning of 21 March, Captain Sango woke up to more than a routine hangover.

He had one humongous motherfucker of a headache.

He was the leader of a country! And not just any country, but one of the poorest countries in the world. Talk about a headache!

Now, if I was him, I would have taken the "oops, sorry, just kidding" route and handed power back to the civilian Pres the next day.

Not Sango. He took the "I really meant to do that" route.

Now he's got the US, the EU, the UN, and Amnesty International up his ass calling him all sorts of nasty names.

Meanwhile, those Taureg rebels in the north have seized the moment to liberate about two thirds of the country.

A word to Captain Sango; it's not too late to say you're sorry.

Get out while the gettin's good.