Plausible deniability vs. undeniable implausibility

We all know what plausible deniability is. It’s when somebody does a dirty, but has a plausible alibi. For example, when those Nordstream pipelines mysteriously exploded, all eyes immediately turned to DC. But DC had several alibis in the can, ready to go. They ranged from low plausibility ( the Rooskies blew up their own pipeline) to quite plausible yarns (Ukrainian operatives renting a yacht). Our curiously incurious media sniffed plausible deniability, and left it at that. No need to further investigate this horrendous crime against the environment, not to mention a devastating terrorist attack on the critical infrastructure of a US ally. Then there’s undeniable implausibility. Anyone who watched the debate of the century last night knows there’s no plausible possibility that mumbling, rambling, vacuous, shell of a President Biden is the person executing the executive functions of his office. This is a problem for the folks operating America’s Democracy Theatre. There’s always room for a wee flourish of fantasy in any theatrical production, of course, but trotting out Dementia Joe for a debate with Donny J, a seasoned stage pro who made hundreds of millions in reality TV? That’s just elder abuse!

Trump-Biden debate; America's Theatre of Democracy in full bloom

Please remember; America is the beating heart of the “democratic world.” There’s an election coming up, and tonight, democracy fans around the world will get a taste of what democracy looks like when practiced in the USA; the Mecca, the North Star, and the Jerusalem of Democracy all rolled into one. America’s democracy has given the voters a choice between two essentially identical old white dudes. Both of them are beholden to billionaire donors. Both are gung-ho supporters of Israel’s genocide in Gaza. Both are committed to an economic model of perpetual growth on a finite planet. Both are slavish adherents to the gospel of US supremacy in perpetuity. They may have some differences on peripheral issues; abortion, gun control, and so forth, but on the things that really matter to billionaire donors and AIPAC, there’s no daylight between them. When your democratic choices have devolved into no choice at all, the spectacle, the theatre of democracy becomes paramount. After all, we have to keep up appearances. To that end, tonight’s debate will be a hybrid of UFC cage match and reality TV. Look for a lot of name-calling. They only got Jake Tapper to moderate because Jerry Springer is dead. There’s nothing like a good spectacle to demonstrate the robust good health of US democracy. I’m getting the popcorn ready!

Kenya's cops go where RCMP fear to tread

Canada has had an RCMP-led police training mission in Haiti since 1993. The longer we train them, the worse things get! And we were surprised these jokers couldn’t figure out how to clear the Freedom Convoy out of Ottawa? But they’re breathing a sigh of relief in Haiti today. Two years after the Haitian government asked for international help to combat rampant gang violence, the first plane-load of Kenyan police arrived in the country. Kenya is leading the Multinational Security Support Mission to restore law and order, good governance, and possibly even democracy, to the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. The glory of leading this mission could have been ours. When Geriatric Joe visited Ottawa in 2023, Haiti was on the agenda. There was much speculation we would jump at the opportunity, as we’re generally keen to curry favour with Washington, but surprisingly, PM Fluffy turned it down. I for one applauded that decision. After failing for over thirty years to whip the Haitian police into shape, we’re willing to admit we’re not up to the job. In order to make amends, Justin did however announce a $100 million investment in the Haitian National Police at the time. Now that the Kenyans have arrived, I’m sure we’ll soon see good results for our money! On the same day, back in Nairobi, mobs of disgruntled ingrates with no respect for democracy, a veritable Kenyan Freedom Convoy, stormed the parliament and tried to burn it down. Kenyan police shot 23 of them dead. They would have got those truckers outta Ottawa pronto!

Edmonton Oilers lose Stanley Cup on same day Julian Assange wins freedom

Must confess I got swept away by the tide of Edmonton Oilers hysteria that has gripped the nation of late. Watched that game start to finish, the first time I’ve done that in at least twenty years. The experience reminded me what a fantasy bubble professional sport is. The adverts that came with the game uniformly featured with-it progressive folks glorying in the latest diversity-affirming products from TD Bank, General Motors, and McDonalds. That’s the world of professional sports; owned by billionaires and used as a platform to promote their agenda. Assange, on the other hand, has never promoted the billionaires’ agenda. That’s why he was toxic to America’s ruling class. He exposed the US Empire as a cabal of war criminals. That’s why they spent the past 14 years trying to destroy him. So what up with this sudden U-turn? I figure it’s the result of a beyond-desperate Biden regime trying to claw back some of the “progressive” cred they’ve squandered with their wholesale backing of Israel’s genocide in Gaza. We’re four months out from the election… oh lookee, we freed Assange! I don’t think that’ll do it.

Doug Ford swaps you Science Centre for beer at the corner store

This is a win-win for sure! For one thing, this swap saves lives at both ends. Imagine the carnage if the Science Centre’s roof collapsed while the place was packed with hordes of kids on school trips, as it is on virtually every school day. Doug’s timely and decisive intervention has prevented imminent catastrophe. And think of the lives that will be saved when beer is available at the corner store. No longer will you have to get in your car and drive to some far-flung government booze outlet when it’s ten minutes to closing time and you’re half in the bag. That’s potentially deadly! Ontario will be much safer when you can just stroll down the street. If lives-saved isn’t enough to convince you, there are other benefits to boot. Attaching the new-and-improved (ie downsized and privatized) Science Centre next to that world-class spa & casino complex gives patrons of the latter a handy, not to mention educational, place to drop off their kids! And as if that’s not enough wins, think of all the luxury townhouses some lucky developer’s going to put on the former Science Centre site, thereby ameliorating the housing crisis. True, they’ll only be affordable to the same folks going to the spa, but a roof is a roof. There you have it; a win-win, win again, and win some more! Too bad about the losers…

Globe & Mail treats readers to massive dose of war propaganda

Chris Alexander had an entirely unremarkable career as a diplomat and politician. However, his three year posting at the Canadian embassy in Moscow as “Third Secretary,” long before Putin arrived on the scene, makes him one of this country’s foremost experts on all things Russian, especially the current war in Ukraine. As a Putin expert, he recently weighed in with this effort which appeared in the Globe a few days ago; The world needs to win in Ukraine. You know which “world” he’s talking about; the roughly 15% of the world firmly in Uncle Sam’s pocket. The “golden billion” as some writers refer to it. The other seven billion denizens of Planet Earth couldn’t care less about Ukraine. Outside of Canada, USA, and NATO/EU countries, virtually nobody has so much as joined sanctions against Russia, let alone provided military support to Ukraine. They don’t buy the bullshit about this existential battle between “democracy” and “authoritarianism.” Alexander claims, “Defeating Russia’s invasion in Ukraine is the pivotal fight of our time – one that will determine whether our children grow up amid crumbling institutions and besieged democracies, or with renewed opportunity.” How silly is that? If Putin prevails, our children will grow up amid crumbling institutions? What does he think they’re growing up with now? He bemoans the fact that NATO have been acting like fraidy-cats. We can’t save democracy with the half-assed efforts we’ve been making for the first two and a half years of this war. No siree! We must put our economies on war footings! We gotta scale up missile production and 155mm shell production etc to ensure Ukraine’s victory! How stupid is that? What democratically elected leader in the West is going to campaign on that? Outside of a few Baltic pipsqueaks, none. Certainly not ours. But it gets even sillier; “Canada should lead. In the Second World War, a town like Ajax, Ont., rose to be the largest shell factory in the British Commonwealth. We could make such extraordinary efforts again.” We could? I don’t think so. That’s the problem with Canadians of Alexander’s pedigree; they can’t stop fantasizing about a global leadership role for Canada, and thereby for themselves. Just because we could do stuff in the past doesn’t mean we can today. During WWII we built 4,000 ships. Now? Almost 150 years ago, we built a railroad clear across the nation in ten years. Today, ten years might get us ten kilometres of subway, if we’re lucky. The only thing Canada leads the world in today is health warnings on tobacco products. Canadian taxpayers have already sunk at least $10 billions into propping up Ukraine. Our “democracy” will no doubt plod along business-as-usual if we never spend one more dollar propping up Zelensky’s kleptocracy. It’s time to cut out the war propaganda and focus our efforts on the many urgent needs experienced by our own population.

Colours of Edmonton; diversity is the Edmonton Oilers' secret weapon

I'm talking about their fan base, not their roster. Check out some of the videos of Oilers fans going nutso koo-koo after the team’s win the other night. Both Global News and CBC have video clips available, as do the sports networks. There’s more diversity in that crowd than you’ll find in a Benneton catalogue, if such a thing can be imagined. All those BIPOC Oiler fans obviously weren't there to support the one non-white dude on the team, as he was on the injury list. I saw a playoff game in Edmonton in 1979, the last season before the Oilers were folded into the NHL. The crowd didn’t look like it does today. I don't recall seeing a single non-white face. Let’s take a moment to thank the billionaire Jewish owner for providing us with something that brings us together!