The three P's of successful procrastination

Procrastination is something I've become quite good at over the years. That in itself is no big deal; lots of people think they're good at it; you may even be pretty pleased with your own personal procrastination skills. However, I think it's important never to lose sight of the fact that, no matter how good you think you might be, there's always room for improvement.

The problem is that a lot of people just stumble into procrastination. You don't feel like doing something, so you find some random busy-work to kill the time, and voila, you've procrastinated. And you have, no doubt about it. However, that's a lazy and ineffective approach to procrastination. To elevate your procrastination skills to the next level requires a more systematic approach. You'll find it helpful to borrow some concepts from the world of big organizations. Here then are the three P's of successful procrastination.

Policy

Now I can already hear you mumbling, Policy?!... what the ...?  But wait. Let me use a concrete example. I have a vast array of pending projects here at Falling Downs from which to choose, but just for the sake of simplicity, let's take the deck project. A lot of people would just rush right into the planning stage without realizing that they need a policy framework for any action, no matter how seemingly trivial.

So what sort of policy issues might you want to consider as you set out on a deck project? Well, for starters, why do you need a deck? Who will build the deck? Where should the deck be? What activities do you anticipate will occurr on the deck? Will it be a smoke-free deck? Will you employ only sustainably harvested lumber in the construction of your deck? Should you consider lumber alternatives such as that fake wood made from recycled plastic? Every one of these questions merits serious consideration. Any I'm sure you can think of many many more questions that need consideration at this point.

In the world of corporations and institutions this is where the focus group comes into play, and this process can be replicated in your own household. Bring the family members into the process. Make it as inclusive as possible. Bring the neighbours in too. If you live in a commune, make sure all your brothers and sisters become engaged in the process. ( I tried that commune stuff a couple of times. Didn't really work for me. Sooner or later it was always, hey man, we're really low on bread man, hey Neumann you got a couple of welding tickets man, you can make the most bread.... it would be so cool if you could like score a job for like a couple of months man and like we'll take care of the garden and like groove man....)

One of the strategies that successful organizations use at this stage is to formulate a Vision Statement. Make sure it's a good one, though. General Motors built cars successfully for may years without a vision statement. Then look what happened. Every school board worth its salt has a vision statement. It helps them to focus on their core mission. You'd think a school board would already know its core mission, but you'd be jumping to unwarranted conclusions. For the sake of my deck example, let's just say our vision statement could be, hypothetically, something like this:

                                     Vision statement for deck at Falling Downs

 We hereby declare our commitment to a deck built at the southwest corner of the house on which we may congregate in good weather and in foul, in the company of friends and loved ones or without, to barbeque, drink beer, and shoot the shit.

As I hope you're starting to appreciate, this policy making process could go on indefinitely. Play the policy game right and you'll never even get to the next P.

Protocol

Protocols are basically your agreed upon rules for doing stuff. Think about the day to day routines around your household. Who gets through the bathroom first, where you leave the car keys, all that stuff is protocol. The problem with a lot of aspiring procrastinators is that they overlook the importance of formalizing all that stuff. For example, at the local school board they have a 45 step written protocol on how to "toilet" a handicapped child - I'm sorry - I guess that would be a child with exceptionalities (and there you go - I can't even begin to imagine how many meetings were convened, how many committees struck on the long road from retardation to handicap to exceptionality...)

Now, every parent in history has figured out how to toilet a baby without written instructions. With a bit of luck, by the time the kid is two or three years old, you've changed your last nappy. Well, with a bit of bad luck, your kid is exceptional, and they get bigger and bigger and your still changing nappies, and eventually they're 25 and if they're really unlucky and really exceptional, by God, somebody is still changing the nappy, and it's been happening for 25 years without a written protocol.

This is where we can all learn a lesson from the school board. 45 steps to take a shit. Not 44. Not 46. There would have been meetings to decide that a protocol was required. Committees would have been struck and struck again. There would be meetings to decide who sits on the committees. There would be review committees to assess the work of the other committees. Meetings to review the efficacy of step 23. Is it really necessary? Should step 36 be split into two distinct steps? All of these things go into the protocol making process.

So for the purpose of our example, let's look at some of the issues that our Deck Protocol Document will need to address:

• will craft beers or corporate beers be served?
• under what circumstances will vegans be permitted on the deck
• what recreational substances besides beer are allowed
• what religious observances will be tolerated on the deck
• what cuss words will and will not be permitted
• pet policy
• will guests be allowed to pee from the deck .... and so on and so on.

Your range here is potentially unlimited. Use your imagination and use it some more. As you can see, there's lots of potential overlap between what is properly a matter of policy and what should fall under protocol, and the effective procrastinator will take months just sorting out that little quibble. With practice you'll find there's no excuse at all for getting to the final P.

Planning

Once you're at the planning stage you know you have a ways to go in honing your procrastination skills, but don't throw in the towel just yet. A promising procrastinator can stretch the planning process out for years. Most importantly, you'll want to do plenty of research. This consists of lots of visits to other peoples decks. Time spent testing out your friends' and neighbours' decks also allows you to get a sense of whether you're on the right track with your policies and protocols; to become aquainted with the social norms of deck use in your community. I can't overemphasize the importance of research. The last place I lived, I found myself at the deck planning stage and managed to research it for eight years. Finally moved before ever building the deck!

If your planning gets to the point where it involves a tape measure and a sheet of paper, you might as well admit defeat. Get on with it already, just build the damn thing. Hopefully this example will inspire you to apply the three P's to your own development as a procrastinator. Remember, it's never too late to put it off for another day!

Good luck.