Canada PM "Big Steve" Harper too busy to keep up with news

When the G-7 invented itself back in the '70's, it was an exclusive club for the seven biggest economies in the world. Canada squeaked in, but just barely.

Today Canada sports the 11th largest economy in the world but remains in the G-7, while four countries that have sailed by us in terms of their economic clout (Brazil, Russia, India, China, the "BRIC" countries) are not in the club.

It's not that their economies don't cut it; it's that they don't "share our values."

We are the Nations of Virtue. It is important that members share the values of the Alpha Dog, which our Mr. Harper excels in doing. The G-7 flirted with permitting Russia into the club, back when Boris Yeltsin held the big chair at the Kremlin, but the infatuation cooled off rapidly once Putin came to power. Unlike Boris, Putin was never keen on taking instruction from Washington, and after the Kiev coup (or the Crimea "annexation," take your pick) they stopped inviting Putin altogether.

Big Steve's got an election coming up later this year, and he's pulled out all the stops in wooing the million plus Ukrainian-Canadian vote. He doesn't actually provide any meaningful assistance to the Poroshenko regime, but he's hoping to win those votes with a lot of tough talk against Putin.

Here's his most recent rant;

"Mr. Putin runs an entirely different system … he runs an economy that is dominated by oligarchs and criminal syndicates. It is not at all like our economy, it doesn't share our interests, it doesn't share our values, and so I think we need to have discussions where we can really rally the shared interests of the Western democratic world."

I especially like that bit about the Russian economy being not at all like those in the Nations of Virtue. Instead, it is dominated by oligarchs and criminal syndicates. Here's a few recent stories Mr. Harper obviously missed:

From the US Department of Justice, a press release announcing that Bank of America has paid a $16 billion fine for financial fraud for events leading up to the collapse of 2008.

From Reuters, the story of a six billion dollar fine against four too-big-too-fail banks for "brazenly cheating their clients" by manipulating foreign exchange rates.

From Financial Times, this tale of a $2.5 billion fine against Deutsche Bank, for manipulating the interbank lending rate to its advantage.... and there are plenty more stories where those came from.

And we haven't even touched on how the oligarchs won the day with the odious Citizens United ruling!

So, assuming that Mr. Harper is correct when he claims that the Russian economy is dominated by oligarchs and criminal syndicates, he's obviously wrong about it being an "entirely different system."

In fact, that would make it pretty much a mirror image of our system!

Top ten places to avoid this Thursday... 13th anniversary of 9/11

As you know, this Thursday marks the anniversary of 9/11. The 13th anniversary... oh, but that is some scary stuff, no?!

After extensive consultations among the staff here at the Falling Downs think tank, we have come up with a list of the top ten places in America to avoid on Thursday, just in case.

The White House. For obvious reasons. Betcha Obama won't be home...

The Pentagon. If you have to go, watch out for wingless hijacked airplanes.

Freedom Tower. Well, you know why that's on the list. Best to hit the observation deck on Wednesday or Friday... if it's still there.

Wall Street. Ya, the entire street. It's just such a juicy address, no self-respecting terror mastermind would ever give anything with a Wall Street zip code a pass.

Langley VA. Sorry, but what goes around comes around, and the wheel of Karma will catch up to Langley sooner or later. Give it a wide berth on Thursday, just to stay safe.

Seattle. Between Boeing and Microsoft there's just too much good stuff in the city to feel safe on the 13th anniversary of 9/11.

Bloomington Minnesota. Anyplace that is home to something called "Mall of America" is just asking for trouble, even if most of the wares peddled therein hale from oriental lands. Look what happened to the Mall of Kenya. Besides, there's an awful lot of you-know-whats in Minnesota. I was planning a fishing trip there but I put it off till October, just in case.

Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills. Strictly for the PR value.

Irving Texas. Did you know that Exxon has its own internal "department of foreign affairs"? It's where Kerry gets his talking points and his marching orders, as did Hillary before him.

South Bronx, NYC.  Other than apple pie and your mom, what says "USA" more loudly, more proudly, than the old ball game? The Yankees just happen to have a home game on Thursday, and if you're smart, you'll just happen to have a hair appointment or something.

You're welcome.