Turd polishers at Levick fail to put Goodluck in front

It raised a few eyebrows last year when word came out that Nigeria Big Boss Goodluck Jonathan had hired on American PR giant Levick to spruce up his image going into the home stretch before the election.

Apparently the millions lavished on Levick have failed to make a decisive difference. Nor has the six week delay in the election, during which time Goodluck had promised to vanquish Boko Haram.

While there has certainly been no shortage of declarations of victory over Boko Haram, nobody believes them. However, everyone is aware that the armed forces of several neighbouring countries now have a free hand in the north.

That can't be a happy thing for the Big Boss.

And while, under Goodluck's tenure, the one percenters have made out like bandits, millions have joined the ranks of the absolutely impoverished, the poorest of the poor, the two dollar a day crowd (and that's on a good day).

Insofar as the wretched masses will vote, it's hard to imagine them voting for more Goodluck.

Nevertheless, Goodluck will declare victory, the streets will erupt in rage, and after days or weeks or perhaps even months of violence, the military will step in to restore order.

From bad to worse for Noluck Jonathan

With less than two weeks to go before the general election, President Goodluck Jonathan's election rallies are being stalked by exploding suicide bombers.

This phenomenon can only assist Mr. "Law and Order" Buhari, not only in the north but in the rest of the country as well.

What many Nigerians readily acknowledge but few Western media outlets will report, is that Nigeria has long been a "failed state" by any conventional definitions of the words "failed" and "state."

Instead, what we in the West get is the happy-time story of the Nigerian economy mysteriously being elevated to the biggest and most robust in all of Africa! You have to wonder if we're just getting that message due to the efficacies of Goodluck's hundred thousand dollar a month retainer at Levick, one of the most influential PR concerns in Washington.

The reason everybody knows it and our media fails to report it is because Goodluck is down with our "War on Terror."

Buhari, on the other hand, is a Muslim.

Goodluck gives up on Boko Haram, goes after Super Eagles instead

Compared to Boko Haram, the Super Eagles were sitting ducks.

The Eagles fell in the round of 16 to France. All in all, not that bad a showing, but Goodluck needs some positives for the front pages and was hoping the national football team would provide it.

Hardluck Jonathan subsequently ordered the arrest of the team president on his return from the World Cup.

That got the attention of global football rulers FIFA, who promptly slapped down Noluck's extra-curricular judicial efforts.

Bear in mind that this is the same President who has retained a top Washington PR firm, to the tune of $100,000 per month, to polish his image going into the next election.

After this fiasco, those smart white folks at Levick are going to up that to $200,000 a month!

Nigerians hate their army as much as they hate Boko Haram

This is something you'd expect to see in a failed state. A soldier dies in a traffic accident and when his comrades find out, they go on a rampage.

Police are nowhere to be found, because for all practical purposes the soldiers are the police. Not only do they enforce the law according to their whims of the moment, but they are above the law.

This happens against a background of rampant rumours about the military conniving with Boko Haram.

It going to take more than a Washington PR firm for Goodluck Jonathan to salvage anything out of this mess.