Wang Dang Sweet Poontang...

A couple of hundred years before anyone could imagine such a thing, Terrible Ted was trolling Political Correctitude.

Cat scratch fever?

Get the fuck outta here!

Back in the day, Terrible Ted was a rebel...


What is he now?

Ted Nugent defends Cecil the lion kill

Of course he would!

Terrible Ted is a legitimate big-game hunter in his own right.

There's never been anything wrong with that as far as I can recall. It's never been one of my hobbies, but then again, serious big-game hunting takes serious dollars, and I've had neither the dollars nor the interest in killing stuff that would be required to pursue such a hobby.

But both Ted and that dentist from Minnesota obviously have both the money and the love for that sport. There's nothing wrong with that. These guys generally have extreme respect for nature and wildlife. I know that's not a concept that passes muster in these PC times, but that's the way it is.

The outrage over Cecil comes from well-meaning folks who see a lion as some sort of semi-domesticated near-pet. Animals die in the wild, and their deaths are not necessarily pretty. Cecil actually had a pretty good run.

A much better run than the average cow or pig in America's industrial meat processing system.

Kiss my rebel ass

When I first saw the story about Terrible Ted and Kid Rock collaborating on a paean to the Confederate flag, I thought, well, it wasn't hard to see that coming.


I've been a Nugent fan since his Amboy Dukes days. However, I've never been a fan of his politics. I get the pro-gun stuff, but the richer he got, the more he cuddled up to the most reactionary elements in the Republican party. Ted doesn't seem to get the fact that he's not hanging out with champions of the underdog anymore.


As for Kid Rock, I've never been enough of a fan to care about his politics, but I do enjoy his anti-authority schtick. That's why I thought "Kiss my rebel ass" was a natural for both of them.


So now it's claimed that the entire story was a hoax.


Was it?


Or did some savvy PR professionals jump into the breach and save these guys from embarrassing themselves?


Is it possible that Ted and Kid Rock have succumbed to the pressures of Political Correctitude?

Raw power

Thomas Stephens is one of the good guys working his ass off to save what's left of Detroit.

All the folks who got rich off Detroit have decamped to more hospitable climes.

Where is the "Save Detroit" campaign?

Kid Rock? I know you care about Detroit. Speak up!

Iggy? I know you care about Detroit. Speak up!

Terrible Ted? I may not like your politics but I love your music. Speak up!

Eminem? Dude, they're killing your city!

Speak up for Christ's sakes...

Or at least for Detroit!

Dumbshits at National Defense sell Raytheon Phalanx guidance system for $37

Then buy it back for thousands!

By the way, calling one of these puppies a "gatling" gun conjures up images from old westerns. The Raytheon Phalanx sprays stuff that's half as big again as .50 caliber at a rate of 4500 rounds per minute!

I hear Terrible Ted's been negotiating to get one for his country estate, but apparently his Sheriff's credentials aren't enough to swing the deal.

But I digress.

Somebody did OK selling the dumbshits back their gear.

These stories don't always have such a happy ending.

There was a guy down in Mildmay who runs a place called Bill's Electronics. He's into the high-tech hardware, but he's a strictly legal by-the-book kind of guy.

Bill's down in Ohio one weekend back in the 90's and he scores himself a missile guidance system at a flea market for a few hundred bucks!

Brings it back across the border, duly filing the requisite paper work, glories in the high-tech glamour of his find for a spell, then puts in on E-Bay...

Well holy jumpin' doomsday!

Anybody who thinks that US security outfits don't operate in Canada should have seen this drama go down!

The jackboot of Uncle Sam was unleashed in all its splendour in small-town Ontario, about an hour and a half north of the border, and young Bill went straight to jail!

Took months to sort things out, and Bill came damned close to losing everything over what was a completely innocent venture on his part.

So congrats to the lucky purchaser of that Raytheon hardware, but not everybody who catches the dumbshits in a mistake fares out that well.

Piers Morgan's one-note band

By now we pretty much get where Piers is at when it comes to gun control. As far as I'm concerned he's been useful in bringing some important issues to the fore.

And it seems sensible enough to me that a society might want to keep its criminally insane away from gun ownership. The mentally ill too.

But, as Ted Nugent pointed out tonight, no matter how many laws you pass, you're never going to 100% eliminate the possibility that a crazy person will get their hands on a gun.

So if I was Piers' manager, I think I'd be suggesting that he move things along a little bit and get himself over this gun control crusade.

How do you know you can trust your armed guard?

You'll need a gun to protect yourself from your armed guard.

That's the verdict of the Farm Manager.

But she may have a point.

Once you're on the ladder of paranoia, where do you stop?

As much as I like guns and loathe gun control I have to admit that, as a guy with more than one ex-wife, I am grateful that guns are not too easy to access in Canada.

That's why I live here!

Hell, that's why I'm living anywhere!

And I truly believe that there must be a way of keeping mentally unstable folks away from guns that even Ted Nugent can agree with.

Ted Nugent and the cancellation of the Ontario spring bear hunting season

Since the Michigan Madman keeps popping up in the news I'd like to refer back to when he was making headlines in the Toronto Star.

For many years Terrible Ted used to bring his extended family across the Saint Clair River every spring for a spot of bear hunting. Ted was a rich and reasonably famous dude and his hunting party spent tons of money in the rural Ontario economy.

Then, back in '99, Premier Mike Harris, out of the blue, cancelled the spring bear hunt.

Now, on the face of it, you'd think Mike and Ted would have quite a bit in common. Mike was one of those hard right guys who would feel right at home at a Tea Party tea party. A slash and burn union-busting redneck all the way.

So the cancellation of the spring bear hunt was a bit of a shock. People took a second look at Mean Mike. If he cared enough about those cuddly bear cubs who lost their mommies to the spring hunt, he really couldn't be such a bad guy, could he?

Of course the more liberal reaches of the media couldn't help but soften their approach to Harris after that. That most liberal of liberal Canadian newspapers, the Toronto Star, invoked the Nuge in its attempt to whitewash Harris.

You see, of all the critics of the cancellation, the Motor City Maniac was the most vocal, and that's just the foil that the Star needed to discredit all the other critics.

Like, if a self-proclaimed "greasy gun-loving guitar player" from Michigan is against this, it's obviously a good idea. Case closed.

They didn't dwell too much on the back story. A big Harris financial backer by the name of Robert Schad had a soft spot for cuddly bear cubs. Over brandies one night he says to Mean Mike, "hey pal, I'm thinking of another six-figure contribution to your re-election fund, but how would you feel about doing me a little favor? I've just been so worried about all those homeless motherless bear cubs we see every spring because of that darned spring bear hunt..."

And the rest is history.

The rest of the history includes more reports of nuisance bears every year all over rural Ontario, to the point that they're becoming a threat to campers and cottagers, but that's another story.

Sooner or later the spring hunt will be back and so will Ted and his high-spending posse.

Wang Dang Sweet Poon-tang!

Well this should give those editor types over at Before It's News a collective boner.

Over the past week I've written separately about three topics that came together in one mainstream headline today; Allen West supports Nugent in Secret Service probe.

Hell, who even knew these disparate stories could converge and congeal...

West is the guy who broke the story about the card-carrying Communists in the Democratic Party.

You know what the Secret Service guys were probing down in Cartagena to make it onto the front pages.

And then you have the Nuge, the Motor City Madman, proffering his take on an Obama re-election.

Days later the Secret Service is probing the Motor City Motormouth and Allen West is riding to his rescue!

Oh, it's a crazy world, ain't it?

By the way, a reader sent a quibble to the Falling Downs think-tank on that Nugent bit. Claimed I was wrong to suggest that Maple Leaf Gardens would have been half empty if Terrible Ted had been sharing his intemperate pro-gun anti-Obama opinions back in the day.

Well, on reflection, I'd have to agree with the quibble. The crew I went to see Nugent with weren't exactly a peace and love crowd. There's a tendency to view the past through the haze of what you think it should have been instead of what it was. Music should never be tethered to politics.

Good call.

Ted Nugent rocks!

I've been a Nuge fan since the Amboy Dukes days and I don't intend to apologize for it.

Saw Nugent live once, at Maple Leaf Gardens. Cops frisked everybody at the door. I lost a vial of really nice hash oil. They didn't charge anybody; just took your stuff.

Ted Nugent is in a bit of hot water these days on account of some untoward comments he made about the possibility of an Obama re-election. Apparently The Nuge is now a Romney fan.

You know, the "corporations are people too" guy.

Ted's been a corporation for quite a long time. Long enough that he sees more in common with Romney than with the loaded long-hairs who used to buy his concert tickets.

The people who made him wealthy.

I used to have the "Ted Nugent Double Live" album. Pretty intense for the times. Never got the sense I was listening to a corporation.

He was rapping before rap was invented.

That shout-out to Nashville pussy has to be one of the greatest lines in the history of vinyl.

Alas, Ted is showing the wear of the years.

That NRA endorsement and your take on Obama would have left that Toronto arena half empty thirty-five years ago.

But you still rock, dude!