Ramping up the dumbing-down in Retardation Nation

I've long suspected that the editing function at Canada's newspaper of record has become the province of their unpaid interns. Now I'm wondering what high schools they're recruiting those interns from.

Take this caption from a photo on the back page of the sports section; "Seene last year in her home in White Rock, B.C., Olympic weightlifter Christine Girard wear her bronze medal..."

Really? Two flubs in one sentence?

Or, how about informing the reader, in a story about the DNC lawsuit against Russia, Wikileaks, and the 2016 Trump campaign, that Trump is a Republican? I would think that anybody picking up a Globe and Mail already knew that.

That story in itself promises to be an entertaining footnote in the Big Book 'o Bullshit & Bamboozlement documenting the last fifty years of America's descent into self-parody. Nuclear-armed self-parody with a Manhattan condo hustler in the White House making America great again. What could be funnier than that?

After a year and a half of various investigations into the matter have turned up nothing but speculation and innuendo, the same DNC brain trust that originally promoted Trump's candidacy and stabbed Bernie in the back figures they'll get to the bottom of things with a lawsuit?

Really?

Elsewhere, guest self-promoter Rick Lash has some tips on unleashing your inner genius. Although it's probably a little late for me, I'm a sucker for this self-helpy shit. It's nice to think that with a little tweaking I coulda been another da Vinci or Elon Musk.

While Lash doesn't mention it, Musk's true genius has been in convincing investors that Tesla has the same market value as Ford.

Ford builds more cars every month than Tesla has built in its history. Ford turns a profit and pays dividends.

Tesla burns through borrowed money like a East Hastings drunk goes through Listerine. Clearly, the only thing propping up Tesla's share price is a mass contagion of wishful thinking, but for now at least, the companies have equal value.

That's genius alright!

Retardation Nation indeed.

Strategy Lab

I don't know about you, but I believe the "Strategy Lab" folks are on the verge of expanding the franchise.

Poverty Lab would be a good next step.

Maybe Suicide Lab could be marketed to the faithful shortly after that.

Chris Umiastowski had a Strategy Lab column in the Globe and Mail the other day in which he sorta fessed up about putting a buy recommend on Apple when it was at $700.

That's what he paid to add it to his portfolio. For Chris to be as unperturbed about that move as he claims to be I strongly suspect his portfolio is like mine.

Imaginary.

But Chris is over the moon about the prospects for Apple. If Apple was a "buy" at $700 then it is obviously a "buy lots and lots more at $430."

Had you heeded Chris' advice, you would be looking at a loss brushing up against 40% in less than a year.

Chris may not be perturbed but I'm guessing you might be.

By the way, Chris, if I were you I'd dump those Tesla shares while there's still somebody left on the buy side.

And I'd time that to happen before next winter...