Old Vic Toews soaring from strength to strength

Vic Toews has had one hell of a run as Minister of Public Safety.

Harper's get-tough-on-crime crowd doesn't get any tougher than Old Vic. Remember his uncompromising stand on internet privacy? Only pedophiles and child-pornographers would have any possible interest in preserving internet privacy, according to Old Vic.

You're either with the censors or with the child-rapists. No room for nuanced argument in Vic's world.

Then he got rid of non-Christian chaplains in the Canadian prison system. As well he should. It's a 'friggin prison system, not a madrassa network for God's sake!

And you can't get tough enough on crime unless your'e getting tough on criminals, especially the ones already behind bars, and most especially on those lifers with their BBQ socials.

Every Canadian can rest easy that Old Vic faced down that threat to the tough-on-crime agenda.

Now Toews has moved on to a new controversy. In a unique public-private partnership, Toews has become the de-facto executive producer of a new reality cop show called Border Security.

This show will give viewers the chance to see real border security guys, kitted out in bullet-proof vests and the finest armaments, scaring the bejeesus out of "undocumented workers" as they round them up and pack them off to prison!

Keep up the great work, Vic! Canada is a safer land for your efforts.

Old Vic Toews shows what he's made of

Canada's Minister of Public Safety, still chuffed from the knock-out punch he delivered to Iran's Revolutionary Guards the other day, has made good on his promise to ban "pizza parties and BBQ socials" in Canada's federal prisons.

That's right, life in the Big House here in Canada is one non-stop whirl of double cheese and deep-fried chicken.

What an asshole!

Here's an overview of what those pizza parties and BBQ socials are all about. Every now and then the lifers pool their resources and order out. They make these "socials" fund-raisers for a variety of good causes out in the free world, everything from earthquake relief in Haiti to Doctors Without Borders to Special Olympics.

Not only do those charities benefit, but the local pizza joints and KFC outlets get a good boost too, as these deliveries can run into the thousands of dollars.

As one of the inmates says, "anybody who is in a rage because I get a piece of KFC a couple times a year has got their priorities askew."

No shit!