Great Lakes Rising

Seems to me the water in this part of the Great Lakes Basin has come up about two feet since last year. That's in my mind's eye, so perhaps it's the last two or three years...

If and when it comes up another two feet, and whether that takes one year or two or three, once it's up another couple of feet we'll be having some problems in these parts.

Right now, the parking lot at the Wiarton waterfront park is already starting to flood. For the first time in my recollection the breakwater has been blocked off because it's partially submerged.

Water is also beginning to encroach on the parking lot at the marina. If the water came up another two feet, the marina will be toast.

As will the waterfront park, and what they call "the flats" in Wiarton, which is about half the houses in the town.

In Owen Sound, the Pottawatomi River has come up enough that the walkway behind the Kelso Villa retirement home is partially flooded. If the Pottawatomi were to come up two more feet, the residents of Kelso Villa would have to relocate, although most of the town would be alright. There are no "flats" in Owen Sound.


Oddly enough, this isn't something you hear much about in the local media.

The relentless pursuit of happiness

What the fuck is "happiness" anyway?

I've got two divorces and a bankruptcy under my belt. Not a Trump or Reichmann bankruptcy, where you diddle the creditors while paying teams of $1,000/hour lawyers to ensure that you're going to keep your mansions and your yachts etc.

I'm talking about the kind of bankruptcy where you do in fact lose everything.

Regular folks have a different bankruptcy experience than the Trump and Reichmann crowd.

They get to keep everything while their buddies in the big banks take a loss on the balance sheet, and "business as usual" sails merrily along on its pre-ordained course.

That wasn't my bankruptcy.

And I've got the credit rating to prove it.

The Farm Manager is bitter that a bunch of her colleagues at her day job are taking time off to go on those all-inclusive holidays to Cuba or the Dominican Republic.

I figure why not just drink yourself silly in the comfort of your home?

If nothing else you'll save yourself all those hassles at the airport.

I can fire up the Ninja 500 or the Mustang 50 and be at the Wiarton liquor store in ten minutes.

Mind you, that only happens when you probably shouldn't be driving anyway.

Otherwise it's closer to fifteen minutes.

Shit happens.

Wiarton is changing. There's some decent restaurant action going on.

The Green Door would do a brisk business even if it was in downtown Toronto. Tim's a superb chef and he and Sarah make a great team. They're big city restauranteurs in a small town, and I've never had a bad experience at their place.

The guy who transformed Coalshed Willie's into Dockside Willie's deserves some accolades too. Don't let that Ford pick-up with the six inch lift fool you; this guy knows his culinary shit.

When you drive past the marina you notice there's a couple of fifty-foot-plus Sea-Rays berthed there. A nice used Sea-Ray 52 Sundancer is going to set you back half a million bucks.

You can still buy a decent abode in Wiarton for under 150.

When you go past the marina there's a few houses on the shore of Colpoy Bay before you get to the water treatment plant. One of those was on offer this year for half a million. It must have sold, because last weekend we drove up that road and there was a brand new Aston Martin parked outside that place that had been for sale.

In the rain.

When there's a perfectly good garage attached to the house...

Makes me wonder, what's in the garage?

Seems to me that the Aston Martin and fifty foot Sea Ray crowd are finding happiness right here in Wiarton.

Boats

I noticed the other day that somebody has a 52 foot SeaRay overwintering in the yard at the Wiarton Marina.

That's a million dollar boat.

From time to time, when me and the Farm Manager are feeling optimistic, we'll discuss the possibility of buying a boat. Not a million dollar boat, but enough boat to afford a three or four weeks cruise through the North Channel and back.

Maybe even enough boat to make a summer of it and cruise to Chicago and back. You can do that from the Wiarton Marina.

Just for fun I read up on the specs of that SeaRay. Twin 660 Cummins diesels. At optimum cruising speed she sucks back 35 gallons per hour. That's in the neighborhood of $300 per hour... and you're gonna run her through the North Channel?

For two weeks?

Maybe not.

That's crazy money!

Hell, for $300 an hour you can almost hire a lawyer! What do you want to do with the rest of your life - pay lawyers or cruise the North Channel?

There are ways to pare the bills, of course. When me and Junior were waiting in line to pay the extravagant entry fee to view the classic cars at the Cobble Beach Concours last year, there was a elderly gentleman a couple of places behind us having the most script-worthy conversation on his cell phone.

"Ya, how ya doin'... did ya hear xxx checked out the other night?... ya, fer fucks sakes... only turned 70 last year... had a 23 year old in his bed!... ya, died with a smile on his face, but listen, he has a 47 foot Chrissie up in Lake Simcoe, and listen to this; had brand new Detroit's installed last year... ya she's a beauty... ya, I know, but he spent a hundred grand on the diesels!... and she was appraised at... but I've talked to the executor, and I think you can probably get her for 25, maybe even 20."

Hmm...

I was tempted to put a second mortgage on Falling Downs and scoop up that 47 Chrissie.

Alas, twin Detroits are still gonna run into hundreds per hour. Unless you idle along on one motor. Which would give "floating cottage" a whole new meaning. You'd be drifting through the North Channel at about the same pace that waterfront erosion is pulling all those waterfront properties into the sea.

So for the time being, we're sticking to small craft cruising here at Falling Downs. If you're anywhere along the shore of the North Channel next summer, and you see a 14 foot Lund putting by, loaded down with camping gear and a couple of hounds, that'll be me.

At least we won't have to wait for the bridge to open in Little Current.