Perry's pool party

The above post got me started down memory lane...

My pal Perry lived out by the airport. His folks had a really swank place out there. Splendid grounds, and a lovely pool.

Perry's folks travelled a fair bit, leaving young Perry in charge of the place. Perry was a dope peddler of some renown, and often hosted lavish parties when his parents were out of town.

On one such occasion Perry was showing off his new Honda Elsinore, and for some reason the talk went round to "bet ya couldn't clear the pool."

Well, Perry was a fellow who loved a challenge. We quickly improvised a ramp and Perry flew that Elsinore the width of the pool like nothing.

"Dude, I could do that on my bicycle... that's nothing! But can you do the length?"

We rig the ramp so it connects to the diving board. Perry's gonna run off the end of the board and sail the 48 feet clear to the other end!

Perry had a great source of what was called "LSD 25" at the time. Looked like Aspirins. The cleanest most potent acid I've ever encountered before or since. That shit can mess up your perceptions.

I don't know what Perry was seeing when he launched his leap, but here's what I saw; Elsinore approaches ramp at high speed on back wheel.

Elsinore stops at foot of ramp.

Elsinore rears up on back wheel, heads up ramp, goes airborne, and makes big splash just off the end of the board.

Applause all round!

More applause as Perry, in motocross leather jacket, motocross boots, and swim shorts, surfaces and flails his way to the edge of the pool.

Which left us with a 250 Elsinore at the bottom of the pool and a gasoline slick forming on the surface.

And Perry's folks due home in the morning.

After a bout of brainstorming it was decided that we would use the lawn tractor to pull the bike out of the pool.

I located a tow strap and fired up the Massey Ferguson lawn tractor. Wheeled 'er round, arse end towards the waters edge, and backed up to the edge of the pool.

You had to be careful doing this on acid. Things aren't always what they seem... inch it back... inch it back... inch it back...

WHOA!!!!... Too late! There was a moment of lucidity as the tractor tipped into the pool. I was able to bail before we hit the bottom.

I still remember the round of applause I heard as I surfaced.

So now Perry had a 250 Honda Elsinore AND a lawn tractor at the bottom of the pool...

With his parents due home in a few hours.

I didn't stick around to see how that turned out.

Youths who drink and smoke pot are more likely to suffer brain injuries

Well no shit!

It took a study to figure that out, according to the Vancouver Sun.

Hell, practically any youth could have told them that.

I was a youth once myself, and while that alone may make one prone to risk-taking and general assholery, you cannot deny that the potential for mayhem increases exponentially when you stir booze and drugs into the mix.

Surprise your friends on the fifteenth floor by climbing the balconies instead of taking the elevator! See them marvel as you slam your 500 Kawi triple through the gears with the front wheel never touching the pavement! Tell those bodybuilders who just walked into the bar you've been in for six hours that they look gay! Do a 7000 rpm burnout in front of a cop car just to see if they'll take the bait!

That's what youths do on booze and dope, because they're youths and they know nothing could ever happen to them.

So now we have this damned study to spoil the fun...