Crisis on County Road 20: PIG ON ROAD

The Farm Manager is dialed into the local internet community via Facebook and all that shit. By "local" I mean within a two mile radius or so. A two mile radius is all country people. Some of them original farm homesteaders, most of us just people who'd rather live in the country. I'm not cut out for city life. You live cheek by jowl and everybody's up your ass, and why would any sane person spend a million on a luxury townhouse with luxury vinyl plank flooring when they could have a hundred acres and a hundred year old farm house instead? With original maple floors. And you'll never have to smell your neighbor's farts. But I digress. Tonight the word went out on the aforementioned Facebook community that there was a pig loose on the road. Right in front of my house. Within five minutes there was cars gathered on the road in front of my house, and up the driveway. The emergency response team of neighbours soon had the pig on a leash, and piggy was heading home to his owners, who, at the least, owe the neighbourhood a community pig roast.

Operation Batshit

When we took over Falling Downs 15 years ago, we inadvertently inherited tennants we didn't know about. Two spinster gals in their 90s sold us the joint. They didn't mention the bat colony in the attic that was probably as old as they were. We've been trying to assert our landlord rights ever since. I've got a few successful strategies to get them out of the attic. Put a hibatchi up there and leave a pile of smoldering rags in it (check with insurance provider first). That gets them out. But nothing I've discovered thus far KEEPS them out. We soon realized our annual attic cleanup was just a springclean for the bats. They appreciated coming home to a freshened up batcave. We kinda let things slide for a few years, but recently, the decline in the bat population these last couple of years has filled me with hope. There are noticeably fewer of them, they come later, and they leave sooner. Cleaning up bat shit is one of the most unpleasant jobs imaginable. Plus, inhaling bat shit fumes is allegedly a threat to all your major internal organs. So I put on one of those covid masks (still have a case of them) and got at it. Still have some fine-tuning to do, but I've got two 5 gal Home Depot buckets full of bat shit available to anybody who wants a great fertilizer for next years garden.

Apocalypse Joe says USA "still beacon to the world"

Biden claims US is still a beacon to the world... sure thing, Joe! 10,000 migrants wading across the Rio Grande every day can't be wrong! Biden’s speech from the Oval Office last night was an unofficial declaration of WWIII. We must not waver in our support for Ukraine. And we can never ever waver in our support for the Chosen People. Ergo, we must gird our loins for the coming battle against evil-doers. Airy-fairy shit like the Climate Crisis is obviously gonna have to wait. We are embarking on the ultimate struggle between good and evil, and if you think we’re not the good guys, you’ve obviously been poisoned by Putin’s propaganda. Meanwhile, reports were already coming in about missile attacks on illegal US outposts in Iraq and Syria, and that was before Apocalypse Joe even finished his speech! Meanwhile, the IDF has the green light to roll into Gaza… Meanwhile, Hezbollah has promised it’ll send missiles to Tel Aviv and Dimona if IDF enters Gaza… Meanwhile, USA has carrier strike force in East Med, with a second carrier strike force on its way… Meanwhile, Russia has hypersonic missiles that are eager to meet that US fleet… The times are getting way too interesting for my liking.

Biden and Netanyahu unite Muslim world for first time in 1400 years; WWIII next

On the day of the Hamas attack on Israel, most of the world condemned the action and vowed to stand with Israel. Sympathy for the Holy Land was at an all-time high. Fast forward ten days, and the Greatest Leader since Moses has already squandered that goodwill. Western leaders, who just days ago couldn’t do an interview without mentioning “Israel’s right to defend itself” multiple times, are today accusing Israel of war crimes. Throughout the Islamic world and beyond, millions of outraged Muslims are in the streets tonight, calling for death to Israel and death to USA. Meanwhile, the Greatest Leader since Moses keeps up the apocalyptic rhetoric. The animals, the savages, the bloody monsters of Hamas must and will be annihilated. To the last man. We’ve ordered the evacuation of Gazans from north Gaza. We gave them time to get to safety because we are the most moral army in the world. Now we will unleash Hell on Hamas. That’s going to be an interesting meeting with Biden tomorrow. Joe has an election to win next year and he doesn’t need any help from Netanyahu to make himself look more incompetent than he already does. Between Afghanistan and Ukraine, America’s prestige on the world stage has taken quite a beating. For his part, Netanyahu has managed the near-impossible; united the Muslim world like no Muslim leader in many centuries has been able to do. That’s quite a feat for a man who fancies himself the greatest leader of the Chosen People since Moses.

Why women's pro hockey keeps flopping

Canada’s national women’s hockey team are Olympic Champions, the best in the world! In the leadup to the 2022 Winter Olympics, the team played a tune-up series against Junior A boy’s teams. They lost every one. Here’s the CBC story on the best women’s hockey team in the world losing 8-0 to the Drumheller Dragons. CBC has floated a barrage of happy stories on the new PWHL in recent weeks. A few rich men have decided it’s time for women’s hockey to take its place in the spotlight, and voila, a women’s professional hockey league is born! I predict that within three years it’ll join every previous women’s professional league in the dustbin of history. Here’s why. First off, the hockey ain’t that great. The top women’s team in the world doesn’t have a chance against elite teenage boys, let alone NHL caliber play. Much is made of the opportunity the PWHL provides young girls to achieve their dream of “playing hockey for a living.” The minimum pay for a PWHL rookie is $35k. You can do better as a shift manager at McDonalds. But if you really, really want to play hockey, I guess this is your ticket. Meanwhile, minimum wage for an NHL rookie is more than twenty times greater at $750k. You won’t make that at McDonalds until you own a few stores! Secondly, there’s a reason women’s hockey is doomed while women’s soccer/football and basketball will flourish. It’s all about the male gaze. When you’re watching women’s soccer, you know you’re watching women. Same with b’ball. The women may be freakishly tall, but everybody can see they’re women. Not so in hockey. Between the knee-pads and elbow-pads and shin-pads and shoulder-pads and a helmet and a cage, it’s hard to tell the difference between a junior boys team and the women’s national team. The only hope for professional women’s hockey is a commitment of unlimited support from the NHL. Given their recent ham-handed attempt to squelch Pride tape for hockey sticks, their commitment to diversity and gender equity may not be something the PWHL can take to the bank. So enjoy those $35k salaries while you can, girls… the happy days won’t last forever.

Israel and Hamas in doom loop of escalating war crimes

On Monday, PM Netanyahu and Defense Minister Gallant announced they planned to commit war crimes. That’s a departure from conventional norms. As a matter of course, countries engaging in war crimes generally don’t draw them to your attention. The standard operational procedure is to deny, deflect, keep your head down, and with a bit of luck the story soon goes away. There’s always gonna be a fresh atrocity somewhere to take your mind off the last one! But Gallant and Netanyahu announced Monday they would cut off all necessaries of life to the 2.3 million hostages they hold in Gaza until such time as the savage animals of Hamas release the 150 or so that they hold. And for once, Bibi is following through on a promise! Must be the moderating influence of his partners in the “Emergency Cabinet.” Problem is, starving a population is a war crime. These guys announced their war crimes in advance. That’s chutzpa! That’s a pretty stark gamble Bibi is taking. Turn over your hostages and I won’t starve my hostages. Frankly, I think the Hamas leaders should take the deal. The Western world will focus instead on their war crime. In fact, the casual consumer of legacy media would get the impression the Israel-Palestine conflict started last Saturday with the unprovoked attack by the savages of Hamas. We now find ourselves in the doom-loop of escalating atrocities. More to come…

Greatest Leader Since Moses risks destroying Israel to save his career

Netanyahu’s career has had an ominous trajectory. Time after time, when he is politically at risk, he engineers a security crisis. Then he swoops in, the greatest leader of the Chosen People since Moses, and gives the terrorists a sharp slap, and everybody loves him again! Things calm down and life goes on. It’s a proven strategy that has worked again and again. Mr Netanyahu has more reasons than ever to hang on to the Boss job. A slew of corruption allegations for one thing. But this time around, The Greatest Leader Since Moses seems to have miscalculated The “only democracy in the Middle East” has been stinking up the very concept of democracy in recent years. Bibi has to keep steering to the right to collect the Knesset votes he needs to stay in power and out of jail. His latest posse of far-right extremists have pushed Israel into the current crisis. We are now in an emotionally supercharged hate loop of atrocity and counter-atrocity which has no hope of ending well for anyone. You can thank The Greatest Leader Since Moses for taking us all to the edge of the abyss.