Operation Batshit

When we took over Falling Downs 15 years ago, we inadvertently inherited tennants we didn't know about. Two spinster gals in their 90s sold us the joint. They didn't mention the bat colony in the attic that was probably as old as they were. We've been trying to assert our landlord rights ever since. I've got a few successful strategies to get them out of the attic. Put a hibatchi up there and leave a pile of smoldering rags in it (check with insurance provider first). That gets them out. But nothing I've discovered thus far KEEPS them out. We soon realized our annual attic cleanup was just a springclean for the bats. They appreciated coming home to a freshened up batcave. We kinda let things slide for a few years, but recently, the decline in the bat population these last couple of years has filled me with hope. There are noticeably fewer of them, they come later, and they leave sooner. Cleaning up bat shit is one of the most unpleasant jobs imaginable. Plus, inhaling bat shit fumes is allegedly a threat to all your major internal organs. So I put on one of those covid masks (still have a case of them) and got at it. Still have some fine-tuning to do, but I've got two 5 gal Home Depot buckets full of bat shit available to anybody who wants a great fertilizer for next years garden.