Charlie's incredible and amazing outhouse fishing adventure

Charlie is my son-in-law. He was a little on the nerdy side, but he won us over with his work ethic and his obvious commitment to our daughter. Plus, he came from a long line of Finnish-Canadians. The Finns are famous for saunas, vodka, and their enthusiasm for hard work, which is why they had such an impact on the development of the Northern Ontario communities they migrated to. We were delighted with the arrival of our first grandchild, Lilah. We were doubly delighted to see baby Lilah being table-trained with one of those spoon-fork contraptions known as a “spork.” This particular spork had been in the family for generations; a family heirloom, if you will. A couple weeks ago Lilah’s parents took her on her first camping trip. A first camping adventure with a not-quite-toddler is bound to be hectic and stressful under the best of circumstances. Which it was. But then Charlie inadvertently cranked the stress dial into the stratosphere. After washing up the breakfast dishes on their last day, he, following Algonquin Park protocols, dumped the dishwater down the nearest outhouse. A half hour later, as they were packing up, the spork was nowhere to be found. After searching every nook of the tent and every cranny of the campsite, they came to the horrifying realization that the family heirloom had gone down the shitter. Literally. They did a cursory search of the subject latrine, to no avail. They contacted the park authorities to request that the contents of said latrine be sequestered, to permit a more thorough examination in the future. Request denied. They drove home in silent despair, especially Charlie. After all, it was he who bore responsibility for carelessly tossing that spork into the outhouse. Next day, Charlie stops at the local Princess Auto, picks up a 100lb magnet, 20 feet of sturdy nylon cord, a face-shield and rubber gloves, and drives 300 km back to Algonquin. “There’d been a few layers added since I tossed the dishwater down there, so I had to throw the magnet pretty hard to get the right depth. That caused a fair amount of splatter. Thank goodness for the face-shield!” Charlie came home with the spork! And, while it was a miracle the family heirloom had been recovered, Lilah’s parents agree no sterilization regimen known to science will allow them to put that spork in her food ever again. But at least it came home. Good job, Charlie! You are truly a mensch!