Stop this crazy train and let me off

Things are going nuts all over the world. Gaza, Ukraine, Yemen... death and destruction like never before! What happens when you spend too much time on screens is you allow yourself to believe it’s always fifteen minutes or less to Armageddon. I know turning off your screens doesn’t stop the ugly shit from happening, but do I really need to watch Al Jazeera 24/7 so I can see every dead baby in Gaza? No! Luckily, I’ve got my lazy Italian mastiff at my side as I negotiate the path towards mindful enlightenment, or perhaps, enlightened mindfulness. Frankly, I’ll happily settle for either one. Bruno is the most affable companion one could wish for. He mostly spends his few waking hours planning his next nap. And he’s really good at it! What makes his napping so exceptional is the utterly symphonic snoring that comes with it. I spent some time on the stoop this afternoon, watching the buzzards float in circles a thousand feet overhead. They can spot a dead chipmunk on the road from that height. They can see me too, if they see that chipmunk. Wonder what they’re saying as the circle up there? When that fat fuck drops dead we’ll be living large, boys! I gotta be worth a couple hundred dead chipmunks! So I’m sitting there watching the buzzards and speculating about their possible conversations, and my ruminations are interrupted by the soothing sounds of Bruno’s melodious snoring… That sound is so soul-healing I should record it. Instead of listening to canned surf sounds in your yoga class, you could listen to Bruno instead! Bruno could become a wellness guru!