Saturday, September 28, 2024

Koreans promise to stop eating your pets

South Korea has been under US occupation for over 70 years, so I’m surprised that more American values haven’t rubbed off on them. They do well with the boy bands, and it’s hard to believe the country that gave us Gangnam Style still engages in such barbarity, but they eat dogs in Korea. That’s right! It’s not just Haitians hunting your pets! Thankfully, this horror is coming to an end. No doubt spurred on by Trump’s vile insinuations re the Haitian guest-workers in Springfield Ohio, the government of SK is taking steps to outlaw dog farming. Yup, apparently dog farming is a thing in our democratic ally South Korea! Or it was. The government is promising an end to dog farming by 2027. Luckily, the dog farmers are to be compensated to the tune of $450USD per animal. Believe it or not, the dog farmers think that isn’t enough! Really? I guess it depends on the dog, but I find it hard to believe even a big boy like our Italian mastiff would yield that much in dog-steaks and dog-chops. Just goes to prove yet again protein is where you find it. One man’s Lassie is another man’s sausage on a bun.

Thursday, September 26, 2024

Greatest Leader Since Moses elects to go down gambling

In choosing to escalate against Hezbollah, Bibi is making a double bet. In the first place, he is betting that America will jump in and save his ass when he embarks on a war Israel cannot win. Retired IDF generals have been for years regaling us with exposes on how many hundreds of thousands of missiles the baddies have squirreled away in the hills and valleys of Lebanon. Enough to fire a thousand a day for months on end. Iron Dome will be exhausted by noon on day one. Then what? In Bibi’s fevered imagination, then Uncle Sam swoops in to make it all good. How could he not? The applause from those 58 standing ovations is still ringing in his ears. He’s probably right. After all, Biden-Harris, Trump, and RFK Jr are each and every one 100% in the tank for Israel, World Court be damned. Genocide? What genocide? You’d have to go down ballot all the way to Jill Stein before you find a candidate averse to enabling Israel’s genocide in Gaza. She’s polling under 2% as I write this. So it’s entirely plausible that Bibi’s gambit in luring the US into the war will pay off. But here’s the thing. The greatest fighting force in the history of history don’t got the mojo no more. Uncle Sam waves a big stick and talks a big game, but those Afghans falling off the last USAF flights out of Kabul tell a different story. Netanyahu, just like Zelensky, is betting on the support of a military empire that is a pathetic shadow of its former self. This new Lebanon front is going to become a war of attrition. Think about it. Israel is in a war of attrition with a people who have been accustomed to periodically living in caves just to survive the latest onslaught. How many Israelis in Haifa or Tel Aviv are gonna live in caves for more than two weeks before they seek refuge in Berlin or New York or Toronto? Bibi’s run is just about done. He will go down in history not as the greatest leader since Moses, but as the man who destroyed Israel.

Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Art critic destroys million dollar masterpiece

And I don’t mean he “destroyed” it metaphorically in a thumbs-down review. No, he literally smashed it into a thousand shards right there on the floor of the gallery! The piece was a porcelain sculpture celebrating, you guessed it, the great Ai Weiwei himself! Apparently he’s trying to figure out who he is after all these years. I’ve always been skeptical about Ai Weiwei and his greatness. When you listen to his interviews, he’s more likely to be mistaken for Chance the gardener than Confucius. He tipped his hand with that bullshit “Straight” exhibition around 2013. He and his team salvaged 90 or 120 or 150 tons of rebar from collapsed school buildings after an earthquake in China, chipped off the concrete, straightened them, and voila!.. a profound statement about… I was never sure what. Earthquakes? Building codes? I don’t know much about art, but I’m fairly knowledgeable about rebar. One thing I know for sure is salvaged rebar from a collapsed building is never ever gonna be straightened. Oh, you might get it straight enough to reuse it again, as rebar. But not as an art exhibit! Ever! Yet, that art exhibit travelled the world. Clearly, they ordered a fresh batch of rebar in every city they landed in! Nobody shleps 50 tons of rebar around the world for the sake of art! He followed that up with the ultra-cringe Alan Kurdi artwork, wherein he pretended to be a drowned refugee toddler. Because how would the world ever know there was a refugee crisis if the great Ai Weiwei didn’t attach his name to it? I gotta tip my cap to that Italian art critic. Enough with Ai Weiwei already.

Saturday, September 21, 2024

Most retarded story in the Globe & Mail today

The Korean extortionist at the Circle K just bumped the price for the Saturday edition to $9.45. Back in the day I had that paper delivered to the door every morning, and a week later the paper-boy would come round to collect a buck and a half… or maybe that was for two weeks. Have you noticed that although they keep ramping the price, the news doesn’t get any better? Nor does the journalism. I suppose it would be smart to bypass the Korean altogether, since I have the digital subscription, but once a week we like to go for a leisurely breakfast at the European Bakery, with the newspaper spread out on the table in front of us. How decadent! How 1965! In good weather, we’ll do this on the dog-friendly patio with Bruno at our feet. So there we are, and on page 8 of the opinion section, I find this headline; “Authoritarianism is a military weakness.” We are told the writer is an “author and professor,” which I suppose imbues her insights with somewhat more cred than I get, having styled myself the “pot-addled hillbilly.” So here’s the gist of Professor Elyse Graham’s argument. Democracies are inherently stronger military powers because of their openness to diverse ideas and diverse people. We know this because Democracy defeated Authoritarianism 80 years ago. Sorry to break it to you professor, but during the WWII, the US Army was racially segregated, gays were drummed out of our militaries with dishonorable discharges or worse, tens of thousands of Japanese had their farms, houses, and businesses stolen by our diversity-loving governments, and both USA and Canada turned away the MS St. Louis, a refugee ship carrying 900 Jews fleeing Hitler. Such was our diversity and tolerance. Furthermore, nine out of ten German soldiers who died in that war died on the Eastern front. The war was won not by Democracies in the West, but by the Soviet Red Army, led by one of the most ruthless authoritarians of all time, Joseph Stalin. But 80 years on, our national newspaper of record sees fit to publish such ahistorical nonsense?

Friday, September 20, 2024

Why do cement-truck drivers make twice the hourly wage of school-bus drivers?

Once again, September brings a school-bus crisis. There's just not enough folks willing to take the job. I know I’ve ploughed this ground before, but here’s all it would take to end this never-ending crisis. Pay drivers properly and treat them with a modicum of respect. What is “proper pay?” I say the hourly wage of a school bus driver should be equal to the hourly wage of a cement-truck driver, plus at least one symbolic dollar-per-hour more to acknowledge that a cargo of children is more important than a cargo of cement. Secondly, the cement-truck driver only has to supervise the cement. The school-bus driver has to supervise 40 or more children, who could range in age from two to twenty, all while he/she is driving the bus! That is just wrong! Once those kids are off the bus and on school property, the school boards and the teachers’ unions dictate that every student be under the supervision of a trained professional at all times. Being under the supervision of the bus-driver doesn’t cut it, by my estimation. They’re already doing their job; driving the bus. If you’re asking them to do two jobs for the price of one… well, maybe you’ll have a school-bus driver shortage! Expecting one and the same person to do two jobs simultaneously for a wage they can make at McDonalds guarantees you’ll have a school-bus driver shortage. That's why every school bus needs to have a second adult aboard to supervise the children while the driver focuses on their job; driving the bus.

Thursday, September 19, 2024

Picking the winner in the coming WW III

Remember the original “Axis of Evil?” The term was allegedly coined by part-time Bush Jr speech-writer David Frum, the son of a Toronto dentist who made it big in strip-malls. Just to be clear, it was Dad who made the family fortune, not David. But a little education and some stiff financial backing and family connections can take a budding ideologue a long way, and David is now on staff at The Atlantic. The original Axis of Evil formulation was Iran, Iraq, and North Korea. That was in 2002. The new and improved Axis of Evil consists of Iran, Russia, and China. The White Hat lineup hasn’t really changed. It’s the world’s leading democracy with the most powerful military of all time, plus NATO, and, last but not least, the only democracy in the Middle East, Israel. You’ve got the democracies on the one side, and brutal dictators, tyrants, and terrorists on the other. Democracies are countries where billionaire political donors get together periodically to select the next leader of the free world. The Good Guys, ie the Democracies, are currently engaged in two wars against evildoers that threaten to spin out of control. While they do have billionaires in the Axis of Evil, there is a crucial difference. In the Free World the billionaires are free to call the shots. In the Autocratic Tyrannies, the billionaires operate at the pleasure of the state. That’s why we need to have a war; to free those free-market champions in Iran and Russia and China from the yoke of tyranny! The wars that the Axis of Evil have forced on the Free World by resisting NATO expansion and Israeli genocide are both one escalation from going ballistic, pardon the pun. When those escalations occur, what’s likely to happen? Unfortunately for the Free World, things aren’t looking good. Ukraine hangs by a thread, completely dependent on financial and materiel support the Free World doesn’t have. In Israel, the only Democracy in the Middle East continues to clear terrorists out of Gaza neighborhoods they’ve cleared multiple times already in a war that’s gone on for almost a year. Clearly, the Forces of Righteousness are not winning. Yesterday’s vote at the UN General Assembly provides a handy barometer of which way global sentiment is tilting in this struggle between good and evil. 143 countries voted against the American Empire’s preferred outcome. 14 voted for it. That’s why this story at the Globe and Mail caught my eye; Deepen US ties and reboot Canada's geopolitical strategy, former ambassadors urge. Yup, five former Canadian ambassadors to the US, American Empire Loyalists to the core, insist we double down on a lost cause. Tragically for Canada, we are on course to follow their idiotic counsel. Let’s commit trillions of dollars and the financial health of our country for generations to come by buying submarines and fighter jets and warships so we can stand tall on the wrong side of history. Or, we could become a sovereign nation, chart our own course, and invest in the health care and housing and education infrastructure we so desperately need.

Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Canada's betrayal of Israel

There’s an op-ed on view at the Jerusalem Post today titled "Canada's betrayal of Israel; irresponsible and shameful." Elsewhere at the Jpost you can find an expose on how the reliably anti-Arab BBC is in fact virulently antisemitic, and another on how Australia has “lost its moral compass.” Canada, Australia, and UK are just three of the 43 countries to abstain from the vote at the UN General Assembly today urging Israel to comply with international law and shut down the settlement project. Most of those 43 countries are traditionally pro-Israel. So what up with this tidal wave of antisemitism sweeping over Israel’s former allies? Could it be that true friends don’t let friends do genocide? No, that’s far too generous for the abstaining nations. Most of them do absolutely nothing to prevent or even slow down Israel’s murderous rampage in Gaza and the West Bank. These 43 abstainers are the cowardly nations. Vaguely disturbed by their complicity in an ongoing genocide, they feign umbrage while doing nothing of consequence. Like halting shipments of military supplies. Like sanctioning trade with the genociders. Like severing diplomatic ties. Nope! We’ll just abstain on this vote while continuing business as usual! That’s not a betrayal of Israel. It’s a betrayal of our claimed humanitarian values.

Monday, September 16, 2024

Countdown to Armegeddon

I spent much of last week installing a storm door that was advertised as “a two-hour oops-proof installation.” Today I was able to catch up on some news, and I gotta say, things are really going downhill fast. Some time ago I posited that Netanyahu and Zelensky would bring down the American Empire. Both of them, mesmerized by the adulation showered upon them on their appearances in Washington, are convinced that Uncle Sam will rescue them from their increasingly precarious calamities. After the much-lauded (in Western media) PR stunt in Kursk, that disaster is now biting Zelly’s ass. It’s become increasingly clear that Ukraine is losing this war, big-time. Meanwhile, two thousand miles south in the Holy Land, the Greatest Leader Since Moses appears to have bitten off quite a lot more than the IDF can chew. We’re closing in on one year of combat in Gaza. This is by far the longest war in the history of Israel, and Israel is not winning. There you’ve got two leaders on the wrong side of history, both of whom are convinced that, if they can just somehow bring America directly into their wars, they can come out on the right side of history. Ain’t gonna happen. And that realization will signal the end of the Empire.

Chrystia Freeland pours gasoline on housing crisis

Ukraine’s top lobbyist in Canada, who moonlights as our country’s finance minister and deputy PM in her spare time, today unveiled a strategy to open the housing market to, in her words, “hundreds of thousands and possibly millions of Canadians.” The “strategy” consists of greater access to 30 year mortgages, and a 50% hike in the upper limit on mortgage insurance, to $1.5 million. I suppose this is great news for someone seeking a 30 year mortgage on a two million dollar home, but my hunch is that those folks are already adequately housed. When you go a few blocks down market, this “strategy” gooses the demand side. There’s now more potential buyers for that starter home. What happens when demand outstrips supply? Prices go up! This “strategy” will hurt the very people it is intended to help! Where the housing market needs government intervention is on the supply side. From the end of the WWII into the 1990s the government had a variety of programs that subsidized the supply side. They worked. Between them, all levels of government have access to more than enough land. They control the approval process. What’s holding them back from putting up affordable and decent public housing? Surely, it can’t be money. After all, we’ve found $20 billions for Ukraine in the past two years. We’ve committed hundreds of billions to increased military spending, from fighter jets to frigates. Meanwhile, we can’t afford to spend money on affordable housing for Canadians. Don’t you think our priorities are seriously askew?

Sunday, September 15, 2024

One man's pet is another man's lunch

Just for fun, I googled “countries where cat meat is considered table food.” Here’s what came up from Wikipedia; China. Japan. India. Indonesia. South Korea. Malaysia, Taiwan. Viet Nam. That’s eight countries that account for at least half the world’s population. And seven out of the eight of them are considered our allies! And if that’s not enough, consider horses. The Lone Ranger would be aghast if he found out Silver ended up in the buffet at a Michelin-starred diner in Provence. And the French consider themselves the most civilized people in the world! Just ask them! So I don’t really get the commotion over Trump’s comments on migrants eating local pets.

America's "Democracy Theatre" jumps the shark... it's Trump against the Queen of Joy

Here’s the main point to remember; America is the benchmark democracy that serves as the North star to democracies all over the civilized world. That’s why it’s important to follow the hijinks on the current electoral campaign. The way I see it, this campaign is premised on the primordial struggle between good and evil. On the one hand, the citizens can choose to root for the racist, misogynist, and quintessentially evil Orange Ogre. On the other, they can root for the Queen of Joy. It’s obviously the Queen of Joy who’s playing the good guy part in this presentation. Donny J knows the part he’s playing. After all, in his pre-politics years he was once a boxing promoter. To this day he’s besties with Dana White, Godfather and Don of Dons in the UFC universe. He used to pal around with the likes of Don King! America’s Theatre of Democracy demands a simple-minded contest between the white-hat and the black-hat. Don’t confuse the voters with nuance. Don’t even mention Jill Stein. So the brain trust running the white-hat campaign is currently pushing the “Trump claims migrants are eating your pets” narrative. Ha ha ha!!! What a friggin’ moron! Meanwhile, the other brain trust is pounding on the “Kamala is so phony she adjusts her accent for the venue” narrative. In Boston it’s “good evening ladies and gentlemen.'“ In Atlanta, it’s “how y’all doin’?” But take note; not in Boston or in Atlanta or anywhere else will the Queen of Joy come anywhere near any serious discussion of meaty topics, be they domestic or foreign. Ditto for the Bad Guy. In fact, it’s totally awesome that in the world’s benchmark democracy, there is virtual unanimity amongst the warring parties on anything that matters. They’re both all in for continuing America’s blank-cheque support for Israel’s genocide in Gaza. They’re both all-in for more drilling and fracking. They’re both all-in for American Hegemony in perpetuity. True, there’s a whisker of daylight on Ukraine policy. Kamala wants the slaughter to continue until there are no more Ukrainians, whereas Trump seems ready to turn the page on a lost cause, and save a few missiles and bombs for the commies in China for when we have to save democracy in Taiwan. We truly live in interesting times.

Friday, September 13, 2024

I've made a liar out of ad maestros who claim my new screen door installation was "oops proof"

Bought a new storm/screen door at Home Depot. A tad over six hundred bucks. Holy shit! I’ve bought used cars for less than that and got five years outta them! Mind you, that was a few decades ago… For six hundred bucks you get the Cadillac of storm doors. The Andersen 2000 series. You pull the top glass panel down and a bug screen rolls down from the top of the door! Right on the box it tells you it’s a two hour installation. Well! Not in my world! I figure I’m about twelve hours into this project. I’m taking tomorrow off, on account of the Cobble Beach Concours car show. Then, Sunday, I gotta undo most of what I did today. That’s because, while the door is hung, looking good, and basically functional, I can’t fit the key set and deadlock because of a very minor measurement error whilst drilling holes in my six hundred dollar door. That’s problematic right there; in my world, when you pay that kind of money for a screen door, it should be self-installing! Or at least the holes should be pre-drilled at the factory, rather than forcing an old fart with shaky hands and iffy eyesight to do the layout and measurement. Anyway, it’s provided a few days of distraction from this fucked-up world. That said, it’s also created a fresh problem. With that magic screen, the Farm Manager notices every time I slip out onto the stoop for a smoke.

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Ukraine attempts to censor Toronto International Film Festival

Chrystia Freeland happens to be both Canada's Deputy Prime Minister and a top spokesperson for extremist Ukrainian nationalists. According to CBC, Canada’s leading Banderista has "grave concerns" over a Canadian film-maker’s doc about the Russia-Ukraine war. “Ukrainian officials" and Chrystia have their knickers in a twist over the fact that Canadian taxpayers financed not only the film, to the tune of $340 thou, but also fund the film festival. As a taxpayer, that pisses me off too. What pisses me off even more is that our government gives way more taxpayer money to Ukrainian cultural groups affiliated with the Ukrainian Canadian Congress. And while we’re on the subject of Ukrainian-Canadian bellyaching, check out this headline from the Ottawa Citizen; "Ukrainian group wants to prevent release of names of Nazi war criminals." That “Ukrainian group” is of course the UCC, itself a recipient of generous government funding, who now threaten to sue Ottawa to prevent the release of the full report of the Deschenes Commission. If you recall, that was an official enquiry into how many Nazi war criminals found safe harbour in Canada after the WW II. The Deschene Commission wrapped up forty years ago, but the list of actual names of Nazis who found refuge in Canada has been kept under wraps ever since. Somebody somehow has wielded enough shlep to keep those names hidden. For the UCC to threaten a lawsuit over this tells me there must be a lot of Ukrainian names on the list.

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Canada sends toxic waste to Ukraine disguised as "military support"

It’s gotta be grating for Zelensky and company to feign gratitude for the latest “aid package” from Canada. As splashed all over Canadian media, at the joint meeting of NATO defense ministers in Mannheim this week, our guy Bill Blair was pleased to announce our latest contribution to Ukraine’s existential struggle to save the free world from Putin; 80,000 air-to-ground missiles! Wow! We’re really coming through on that “whatever it takes for as long as it takes” promise we’ve made over and over again since February 2022. I gather Blair would have been humiliated if Canada was the only Ukraine ally to show up in Mannheim without an announcement of new military support. Blair called Canadian Forces boss Jennie Carignan. “Jenn honey, what do we have in the cupboard for Zelensky? Anything left?” General Jennie, recently promoted to the top job after a CAF career on the HR side, had no clue, but promised she’d look into it. Couple weeks later Bill gets a call. “Hey Bill, the cupboard’s pretty much bare, but here’s a thought; we’ve got a warehouse full of obsolete missiles we pulled out of service twenty years ago. We’ve been planning to dispose of them, but it’s gonna cost a thousand a pop. There’s 80,000 of ‘em in that warehouse, Bill. Do the math.” “Holy Mother of God! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? I think we got us a twofer on our hands! We get some nice PR for our solid support for Zelly’s war, plus, we get rid of an $80 million disposal expense! Love you, doll!”

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

The greatest war crime of our time

Canada’s foreign policy is a mystery. Just today our punditocracy is agog at the affrontery of China’s ban on our free and democratic canola. They accuse China of retaliating against our free and democratic canola just because we imposed 100% tariffs on their authoritarian and possibly genocidal EV industry. Who really knows how much Uyghur slave labour is in those Chinese electric cars? It’s probably quite a bit. Canada would never rubber stamp a US anti-China policy just because we’re a US dependency, much like the Marshall Islands, but with a slightly more robust military. So in order to clarify what Canada’s actual foreign policy priorities might be, I thought I’d check out the official Global Affairs website. Here are the ten most recent “news bulletins” as of 9 o’clock this evening. From 21 August, something about the USA-Canada-Mexico trade deal. Mexico is threatening unreasonable stuff. Then there’s a fluff piece about FM Joly visits Africa, where Canada’s influence is now less than zero. After that we get a couple of stories about our commitment to Ukraine. Apparently our commitment to Ukraine is closing in on $20 billions, from a country that can’t afford to train its own nurses or doctors. On 25 August we get this jam tart; Diplomats for Equality Joint Statement, wherein we declare our solidarity with transgender youth in need of gender affirming care. Because that’s a global priority for equity and freedom and human rights. Then there’s a couple of house-keeping items re new diplomatic postings to a bunch of shithole countries in Latin America. Cuba and Nicaragua just don’t get democracy, so I don’t know why we bother. I guess it’s just because we really care about freedom and human rights. That’s followed by a couple of lame-ass stories about Mary Ng’s adventures in DC. Yes, that is the very same Mary Ng embroiled in a conflict of interest scandal a few years ago, but who cares about that when there’s bigger fish to fry! Finally, the most recent Global Affairs news bulletin as of this writing reminds us that China’s persecution of the Uyghur minority is a grave violation of human rights! There you have it; Canada’s foreign policy priorities as expressed in all Global Affairs news releases over the past two weeks. Not a whisper about the ongoing genocide in Gaza, the greatest war crime of our time.

Monday, September 2, 2024

Bibi loves Hamas

It is by now well established that Israel was fully aware of the attack planned for 7 October. Did the IDF take proactive measures to eliminate the threat before the attack was launched? No. It did the opposite, deliberately drawing down troops from the Gaza border. Why? Because Bibi saw his chance. His chance to once and for all time establish himself as the greatest leader since Moses. A giant in the five thousand year history of the Jewish people. The leader who finally rose up to destroy the children of Amalek once and for all. And so Hamas gifted him the opportunity to unleash the genocide. He seized the opportunity, with the full support of his allies in the human-rights-loving West. Look how they love him in Washington, global HQ of freedom, democracy, and human rights. Oh yes, there is the ongoing pantomime of opprobrium, of umbrage taken, of outrage at serial violations of every so-called rule of war, but the money and the bombs and the bullets and the vetoes at the UN keep on coming. This is America’s genocide as much as it is Israel’s.