Is the collapse of Israel near?

Contrary to what you’re seeing in legacy media, the war with Iran that Israel started is not going well for Israel. Spend some time on Al Jazeera or the Electronic Intifada and you’ll see some of the high-end real estate in Israel that’s been turned into war zones. Most Israelis do not wish to live in war zones. Especially when they have the option of living in Toronto or Montreal or Miami. Our hyper-partisan pro-Israel media doesn’t want to talk about it, but the fabled Iron Dome leaks like a sieve. And here’s the nitty-gritty when you get to the reality of things. Most modern Jews are fat and happy and lazy. They love their J’lem pad or their subsidized apartment in the settlements, but, “hilltop youth” types aside, they’re totally not interested in living in a war zone. Would you rather risk ballistic missiles in Beer Sheba, or rude graffiti in Toronto? The Greatest Leader Since Moses has embarked on what is surely a suicide mission unless the USA comes to the rescue. And Donny J appears to be hedging his bets. Who can blame him? Any political leader with a whit of self-preservation instinct would want to distance themselves from Netanyahu. He’s a wanted war criminal! Mafia Don today announced he’d make a decision within two weeks about joining Bibi’s war. In other words, he could join in tomorrow, or in two weeks, or never. That don’t sound like an ironclad guarantee to me. It’s not possible to fly out of Ben Gurion at the moment, and perhaps a bit longer, like indefinitely, but apparently the yacht brokers in the eastern Med are doing a roaring trade between Israel and Cypress. Is the demise of Bibi at hand?

G7 thanks Israel for attack on Iran

If you followed the G7 shindig, you know the worthies from the seven richest countries in the “Western World” found it really really tough to find anything they can agree on. But they finally did manage to agree on something. Israel has a right to defend itself! Who knew? Israel has a right to defend itself even when it hasn’t been attacked. In this case, it seems to be defending itself from the peace agreement Trump was working on with the Iranians when Israel attacked. An existential threat is an existential threat, of course, so whether it’s a twelve year old kid in Gaza or a potential peace treaty, these threats must be dealt with ruthlessly. And that’s why Israel attacked Iran in the midst of peace negotiations that Trump had expressed confidence in merely a day earlier. Nothing threatens Netanyahu’s political career like the prospect of peace. That’s a fact that explains pretty much every war Israel’s had in the last thirty years or more. Every time there are clouds over Bibi’s career, he gins up “threats” that can be resolved by “delivering a sharp slap to the terrorists,” also known as murdering a few dozen/hundred/ thousand Palestinians. He seems to have miscalculated this time around… or maybe the genocide and the black eye to Israel’s rep were all part of the plan. Who knows the secrets of the Greatest Leader Since Moses? But until just a few days ago, the Gaza genocide was seriously starting to disturb some traditional Israel allies. Like the EU. There was a ripple of optimism that went through the anti-genocide camp in late May, when the EU declared it would reassess the EU-Israel Association Agreement on account of Israel’s war crimes. Fast forward not quite a month to the G7. The EU took the opportunity to announce that it would suspend the reassessment due to Israel’s attack on Iran. Get it? We will forgive Israel its sins of war crimes and genocide in gratitude for its attack on Iran! German Chancellor Merz no doubt spoke for the combined NATO/EU when he thanked Israel for doing “our dirty work.” That was the long and short of Carney’s first big international stage. Israel has the right to defend itself. Mark, we’ve heard that before. But the rest of the neighbourhood also has a right to defend itself against Israel. And please don’t make it about “morals,” “values,” or “human rights.” Instead, explain to us how Israel has killed 25X more children in Gaza than Putin has in Ukraine, in a war that has been half as long. Those Palestinian kids just have a penchant for jumping in front of the bullet when an IDF sniper is trying to squeeze off a warning shot! A few months ago Trump’s Director of Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, reported (as the Director of Intelligence has every year since 2003) there is no evidence for an Iranian nuclear weapons program. Tulsi oversees 18 different intelligence agencies that cost the US taxpayer a combined $100 billion+ per year. If Trump can throw her advice out the window just like that, I’ve got a suggestion how Doge can save 100 billion every year going forward. Bibi is on the cusp of realizing his life-long dream - having America fight Iran on behalf of Israel.

The American Way of deception and treachery

You must admit there is nothing more satisfying than lulling your enemy into a false sense of security, and then cutting his throat! The warmongering shitbags running DC had a treachery orgasm last week when our Iranian dupes fell for the ruse that America was interested in “negotiating” with them. The Exceptionalists are bringing back a tactic used to great affect during the so-called Indian Wars. Lure the savages to the fort to discuss a peace treaty, and then slaughter every last one! Yup, that trick never fails to impress our superior values on inferior peoples! Looks to me like Donny J is showing his true colours; servant of Israel. We expected as much, but we wanted to believe things were otherwise. Apparently not. Not only has Donny J connived in the serial murder of tens of thousands of Gazans, he is fully complicit in Israel’s unprovoked war on Iran. Yet at this very moment the lesser 6 of the G7 are out in Kannanasskiss, kissing Donald’s ample arse in order to curry favour with a war criminal. What a disgusting spectacle!

Maybe Leonard Cohen was right after all...

Is democracy coming to the USA? It’s all going for a shit for Donny J, the greatest deal-maker in all of human history. We’re way past the 100 day mark, and those two wars he was going to stop on day one are chugging along nicely. But that’s nothing. He’s also allowed a potentially Armageddon-scale catastrophe to drop in the Holy Land. For that disaster, he had some help from his conniving, back-stabbing, genocidal bestie, the “Greatest Leader Since Moses.” For forty years Bibi’s had a boner to see US troops on the ground in Iran, taking the lead in the mission to get the Ayatollahs out of the picture. Victory over the Towelheads ‘o Terror has never been so close! Alas, the IDF most-moral shock troops have been bogged down in an almost two-year total war on two million Palestinians in Gaza. Israel used to win wars in six days. Now they can’t starve a rag-tag militia out of their tunnels in 20 months. After 20 months IDF troops come home from Gaza in body bags every day, for the greater glory of Bibi. And to keep his crooked arse out of the hoosegow, of course. And that’s just one war. Trump’s idiotic plans for a Gaza resort notwithstanding, there’s a long and difficult road ahead before Hamas is defeated. Then there’s that Ukraine fiasco. Trump likes to blame that one on Dementia Joe, but the truth is, Joe inherited the Ukraine war from Trump. Job #1 on that front is to somehow make the defeat of the combined NATO-USA look like, if not a victory, at least a stalemate. Unfortunately, Putin isn’t playing along. So it’s safe to say things aren’t looking that great for the Empire. 77 million Trump voters have a right to be pissed off. The bill of goods they thought they’d voted for was so much pie-in-the-sky. Now what? The Dems are lost in the wilderness. The Republicans are lost in the wilderness of Trump’s delusions. It’s the best time in a long time for ordinary Americans to throw off the yoke of both their billionaire-owned political parties. Democracy may yet come to the USA after all.

Bibi gets his war

The “Greatest Leader Since Moses” will soon join the giants of the Tora in the annals of Jewish history. In fact, three thousand years hence, I am sure when scholars recite the Holy Names of the Great, they’ll begin with Bibirius of Judea, the greatest leader of all time. That’s quite the prank Bibi and his sidekick Donald played on the Persians, eh! Bibi sez to Donnie, OK, now you butter ‘em up with some bullshit and bafflegab about a nuclear deal, and while they think they’re negotiating, we slam the Ayatollahs with a surprise attack! Yup! That’ll make Israel safer! They were dancing in the streets in some Israeli neighborhoods, dancing in celebration, at least for a couple hours before the rocket alarms went off throughout central Israel. Then they danced in the bomb shelters instead! Here’s the crazy thing about folks who can afford to live in Tel Aviv; they can afford to live anywhere! Tsunami of antisemitism aside, Toronto or Montreal or Miami are all safer than Israel. And for that unfortunate reality, you can thank the man who is at this very moment conniving how to stay out of jail, plus cement his legacy… Even greater than Moses.

R.I.P. Brian Wilson

As it happened, I was sitting across from Junior over burgers and beer when the news came over his cell that Brian Wilson had gone to his reward. And just two days after Sly Stone bought the farm. Fifteen years ago Junior had treated me to Brian Wilson’s gig at Kitchener’s main concert hall, Centre in the Square. That was pretty much the first indication I ever had that the arduous and expensive parenting journey might pay dividends! The other indication was when he took me to a Trent Reznor show at Ontario Place. Another musical genius I appreciate. Like pretty much everything that’s had Brian Wilson’s name attached to it over the last fifty years, it’s not about Brian Wilson; it’s about the assorted hustlers hoping to profit from Brian’s name. Looks like Brian just shut off the money taps on them! Trent Reznor and Brian Wilson… says something about Junior’s musical tastes. Impeccable, if I say so myself!

Carney unveils Canada's path to leadership of the Free World

Mark Carney cannot be a stupid person. But after taking in his twenty minute pie-in-the-sky presser this morning, it’s obvious he thinks we’re stupid. According to Mark, Canada has for too long been too dependent on the USA for protection. Fair comment I suppose, although off the top of my head I can’t recall any case of an enemy wanting to attack us and being deterred by Uncle Sam’s umbrella. Further, now that Trump won the election, America is no longer an authentic, stable, democracy that its allies can count on. Fair comment, although the authenticity of US democracy has been dubious since long before Trump. Therefore, (and this is where Carney jumps the shark) it is up to Canada to step into Uncle Sam’s shoes and take over the leadership of the democratic world! He will do this by making common cause with “like-minded democracies who share our values.” According to Mark, those are mainly NATO countries in Europe. We will join up with their trillion Euro+ plan to re-arm Europe to confront Russia. Ya right! As of today, according to multiple Western sources, Russia is churning out more tanks and artillery shells than all NATO countries combined, including the US. Our main European allies, UK, France, and Germany, are all politically unstable. None of their governments are likely to survive their next elections. Even worse, Russia does this with a military budget less than a quarter of America’s let alone combined NATO. And even worse than that, although Carney and his speechwriters don’t seem to have noticed, the “shared values” don’t amount to much beyond hating on Russia and “standing with Israel” until the last Palestinian is either dead or in Egypt. So we’re about to embark on an orgy of spending we can’t begin to afford. We can only hope, for the sake of our fiscal solvency going forward, that Big Money Mark maintains the sacred Canadian political tradition of talking a whole lotta lollipops and rainbows, but delivering squat. But don’t get depressed. Although his leadership role in a new Canada-led world order is a chimera, Big Money Mark did show himself perhaps the most promising philosopher-king since Trudeau the Elder. Check out these pearls: Canada’s leadership will be judged not only by the strength of our values, but the value of our strength. If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu. I can’t imagine he talks such rubbish when he’s chairing a board meeting at Brookfield!

The trouble with cremation

The trouble with cremation is there’s no opportunity to leave a pithy bon mot for posterity on a slab of granite. Instead, you leave an urn of your ashes for your heirs to do with what they will. I expect, with a high level of confidence, that my dear son will follow the lead of Keith Richards, and snort me when I’m gone. In spite of my commitment to cremation, I nevertheless like to fantasize about what I’d like to have engraved in that slab of granite. After decades of ponderation, I’ve settled on; OFER FUX SAXES. It’s hard to improve on that. It’s not only Keith that’s my guiding light; it’s my dear Opa who I met twice in my life. No idea if he opted for cremation, but family lore has it he dropped dead in the elevator of his seniors’ home, with a cigarette in one hand and a brandy snifter in the other, while on his way to meet a date in the lobby. He was 92 years old. I wanna be like you, Opa!

My friend Bob and three free Mustangs

Back in the day, circa mid-seventies, my old pal Kipling had a little stone cottage on Highway 24, right on the curve where it meets County Road 32. Mark Wilson, who started his career at a gas station on Gordon Street, now has one of Canada’s largest used car dealerships on that corner. For a few glorious months in… I’m guessing ‘75 or thereabouts, Kipling was running the smallest car lot in Canada. It only had three cars, but were they ever cool. 1966 Dodge Charger 426 hemi automatic. One of eight sold in Canada. 1969 Nova SS 396/375 automatic. 1969 Nova SS 396/375 four speed with 4.56 gears and, what was considered really cool at the time, a straight-line shifter from either Mr. Gasket or Hurst, I don’t recall, that eliminated the half second it might take your right hand to negotiate an “H” shift pattern. If you happened to be racing for ownerships out on the 86 Dragway, that half second could save your life. So Kipling’s got this dream car lot happening, and it so happens the school bus stop is right in front of his house. There’s this 15 yr old kid from up the sideroad who collects the bus there every morning, and those cars hooked him for life. That was Bob. In the fullness of time, Bob married into the Kipling clan. (Can’t say I blame him; Viv was quite the hottie.) That’s how I got to know him. Once he had his drivers license he was keen on joining the quarter-mile cult. I was in the very early days of my teaching career when Bob gave me the first opportunity to dispense wise teacherly advice. He’d been at Hammonds for maybe ten years, and had an opportunity to earn a Millwright ticket through the company. But he’d rather drive one of their trucks. What should he do? The advice I gave him then still stands; you can always get a class A driving permit (which he already had, thanks to driving farm trucks on the family farm), but a Millwright ticket you can take to the bank. He took the Millwright course. Within a few short years he was head of maintenance in a factory with a couple of hundred employees on the floor. He enjoyed free run of the joint for obvious reasons. A machine could go down anytime anywhere. By then Bob had established himself as expert weed grower. He moved two pounds of home-grown in that factory every week for about twenty years. Sadly, somewhere in that run Bob and I had a terminal falling out. It was all about three free Mustangs. A guy I knew knew a guy who’d just bought an investment property up the road in Kitchener. There was a garage in the back that had three non-operational 1964 Mustangs inside. Dude was a real estate investor, not a car collector. Those three cars were mine. All I had to do was go get ‘em. So I call up my good buddy Bob the Millwright. Hey Bob, gimme a hand getting these ‘stangs outta there and it’ll be two for you and one for me. That’s generous on the face of it, but I wanted the one with the V8 and four speed. The other two (Bob’s) were six cylinder automatics, with bench seats! I’m guessing that in the collector market, an early ‘64 Mustang with bench seats is far more of a rarity than a V8 with four speed and buckets. I round up my Millwright buddy with his car-hauler and tool kit, and we go to collect our free Mustangs. For all the chains and pulleys and come-a-longs in Buddy’s toolkit, we couldn’t get ‘stang number one onto the trailer. This got my pal Bob so pissed off that he went into a wrench-throwing tantrum. I was lucky not to get boinked off the noggin. FUCK THIS Bob proclaimed. It’s kind of a longish walk back to Guelph, so I meekly succumbed to Bob’s termination of the mission, but I have to say that was the death of our friendship. Things were never the same after that. Which is too bad. Bob was a good guy. If I could do it over, here is what I would do differently. Instead of meekly bowing to Bob’s hissy fit, I’d say, hey man, let’s sit down and chill out. Maybe we should burn one. There’s no rush. Who the fuck ever got anywhere in life by giving up when the first try goes awry? Anyway, it wasn’t a long time after that that Bob got a lung cancer diagnosis. Like most cancer patients, he lost the fight, but he died owning a pristine 1969 Nova SS that he had built up himself, plus a new hemi-Challenger after Dodge brought them back. He and Viv were long divorced by then. Ironically, while she never shared his love of the weed, she’s still happily wheezing away while she smokes four packs a day.

When the world you know goes for a shit...

And I’m not talking about the demise of the American Empire here, although we’ll be lucky indeed to survive that as the hard-core Exceptionalists dash their exceptionalism on the shoals of world-wide disgust for our cherished “Western values.” Unfortunately for the future of humanity, there are far too many in the “Exceptional” camp who are fully prepared to risk nuclear war just to maintain their exceptionalism. Needless to say, that isn’t a winning strategy. But that’s just the scenery curtain behind the real-life adventures I’ve been plodding through. Within a two week span in April I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, plus, my dear Daddy shucked (finally) his mortal coil and went to his reward. I can finally say this now that he’s gone. My father was hugely problematic for me. Not at the beginning. My Dad was always my hero, at least until he wasn’t. He was the refugee punk with no education who made his way from Pier 21 to middle-class respectability in the real estate business. Along the way he earned a reputation as a solid guy whose word was his bond. Which was mightily at odds with my experience of him. Long story short, the father I idolized forced me into bankruptcy. That’s how I ended up at Irving’s shipyard in Saint John. It’s also how I ended up at Outhouse College in London from where I graduated with a teaching degree. No matter the hurt in his betrayal, I have to admit he did me a favour. I impacted far more lives in high school classrooms than I ever would have as yet another money-grubbing real estate wheeler-dealer. Which is hunky dory, except for the fact that I still miss my father, and wish things could have been different. But, that sounds way too much like a rich kid’s lament to me. That’s what Dad would say…