Did you know Canada has troops in Africa?

This headline at the Globe and Mail caught my eye this morning; Canadian Peacekeepers plot strategy to defend Congolese city from rebels. Say what? We have peacekeepers in the DRP? (Democratic Republic of Congo, not to be confused with Dan’s Republic of Congo, named after Dan Gertler, which operates in the same general neighborhood.) Who knew? I didn’t, and I pride myself on keeping up with all the latest developments in Canada’s global battle for freedom and democracy. Geoffrey York moseys along for 14 meandering paragraphs before we meet the nine (9) Canadian officers working with the UN mission there. “In their staff officer positions…CAF members are playing a key role…” Of course they are! They are bringing Canada’s key strengths to the battle against the M23 rebels, including “leading joint planning sessions.” I assume this means sorting out who brings the weed and who brings the rolling papers, because if it means much more than that, the Congolese are truly screwed. Who in their right mind would expect the Canadian military, who have a decades long track record of failing to plan the timely replacement of everything from Sea Kings to frigates to submarines to fighter jets, to come up with a timely and effective plan to stymie the M23 rebels? What have these people been smoking? And if that’s not embarrassing enough, York drops another truth bomb a few paragraphs along. “Despite the small size of the Canadian contingent in Congo, it is the second largest of Canada’s handful of remaining units in UN peacekeeping forces.” Lester Pearson must be spinning in his grave.

Switzerland goes full anti-semite

 Who can even imagine such a thing? A court in Switzerland, still considered in mainstream circles a "civilized" nation, has ordered the detention of famed Israeli philanthropist Beny Steinmetz. This is the most odious attack yet in this most recent wave of anti-semitism that has been rolling over Europe.

Beny has given so many hundreds of millions to charity, (primarily his Agnes and Beny Steinmetz Foundation) that a mere 50 to 80 millions remain in his personal accounts. The authorities have not specified whether those sums are in shekels, USD, or British Pounds.

To say nothing of his mentoring role in the careers of so many freedom fighters and social justice warriors. Beny was the juice behind Bill Browder's civilizing mission to Russia back in the '90s. Likewise, he helped springboard Dan Gertler's ambitions to bring light unto the deepest darkest heart of the Dark Continent.

Such a man, who has done so much for so many, they want to eliminate in Switzerland. To silence him for five years. Well, not "silence" silence; he's still got Twitter, but you know what I mean. And not only that, but also pluck clean his remaining accounts, just to rub salt in the wounds.

I will be arranging a GoFundMe account to assist in Beny's defence. You can fight anti-Semitism in Switzerland and help out a great philanthropist in his time of need.

Details coming soon.

Corruption in American politics is so deeply embedded that we barely notice the ripples on the surface

It was a busy day. In between planning home renovations and napping, I had occasion to peruse a few of my favourite news sites.

I like the Guardian. Nice middle of the road perspective, generally speaking. One of the first stories to catch my eye was a missive by Kevin Watkins about corruption in Africa.

Kevin built his story around certain revelations revealed in the "Panama Papers." Seems a whole lot of those African despots are crooks out the ying-yang. Yup, same old same old. African leaders are crooks... no news there! Hey, even my hero Dan Gertler got a passing mention in the story!

Elsewhere in my day, I read a story that Junior forwarded, about HRC's collusion in the Honduras coup of 2009. Not only does Hillary compromise the entire USA intelligence apparatus with her private (as in wide open to every semi-competent intel service in the world) e-mail accounts, but then she posts in her e-mails all the back-stabbing anti-democratic shenanigans that America's Secretary of State is conniving in!

Heck, that's corruption and incompetence on a scale that would leave those African despots wide-eyed with wonderment!

But wait, we're not finished yet...

A little further on in the Guardian, I come across this American crime thriller. Seems a certain Guerrero Chapa has been the de facto leader of the Gulf Cartel since 2003. As I'm sure you appreciate, Cartel leaders have many enemies; the law (but maybe not so much), rival cartels, ambitious underlings, and so on. Ten years after becoming the de facto leader of the Gulf Cartel, our man Chapa gets rubbed out in true gangster fashion while shopping with his wife in Dallas Texas.

But here is the sentence, dropped incongruously many thousands of words into our story, that caught my eye;

Guerrero Chapa lived legally in the US and was an informant for American authorities.

Say what?

The leader of the Gulf Cartel lived legally in the US and was an informant? The leader of a Mexican drug cartel is allowed to live legally in the US and continue running his cartel in return for what? Information on rival cartels? Which would make the entire "War on Drugs" infrastructure complicit in the drug trade they have allegedly been doing battle with, would it not?

How far up the hierarchy do you figure that rot has spread?

No wonder that after forty years of a supposed "war on drugs" your kids can still buy dope at their school playground.

And we're not done yet. Those drug cartels are small fry compared to the big dogs like Lockheed Martin. Here's a story from Sputnik about how the military-industrial complex has been cleaning out the US treasury while lining its own offshore accounts to the tune of billions while fobbing off unworkable crap like the F-35.

And it's all done in the name of the flag and patriotism and defending our freedom, don't ya know! Hell, they'll be lucky if they get approval to fly those duds over a NASCAR invocation, nevermind taking on an actual enemy.

But we see none of that. We're too busy rooting out corruption in Africa!

Guess John Baird's next sinecure and win a Falling Downs coffee mug!

We've already congratulated Big John on his appointments at Barrick Gold and CP Rail. As we predicted, those two sinecures leave vast amounts of open space in Mr. Baird's schedule, open space destined to be filled with more lucrative influence-peddling appointments.

Sure enough, today word comes out that John will also be advising Hong Kong billionaire Michael Li, son of mega-billionaire Li Kashing, richest man in Asia!

These must be heady times for the humble former politico from Ottawa!

So what's next for Big John? We've already speculated that Sheldon Adelson will have a little something for him, for his great work on behalf of the right-wing lunatics in the Holy Land, but what else?

Remember the "Tour de Canada" that Baird treated the Foreign Minister of the UAE to last summer? Apparently he and Sheikh Abdullah bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan got along like a house on fire! And guess what? Sheikh Abdullah isn't just the Foreign Minister of the UAE, he also happens to be the son of the country's founding father AND Deputy Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Abu Dhabi Fund for Development, the second richest sovereign wealth fund on the planet!

I'm guessing Sheikh Abdullah is always on the look-out for key strategic advisers and that John Baird would fit the bill perfectly.

What else? I think an operator like Dan Gertler could use a man of Baird's prodigious connections to take his company to the next level of respectability... but why not throw this guessing game open to the general public?

Announcing the BIG BUCKS FOR BIG JOHN BAIRD POOL. What global multi-national or mega-billionaire will be next in announcing that they have signed up Baird to give them strategic advice? Just send ten dollars along with your guess to this blog, and if you guess correctly, we'll send you a genuine Falling Downs coffee mug!

See, we can all win when John Baird wins!

How fighting corruption entrenches the most corrupt

The following comes from the website of Canada's Department of Foreign Affairs. On the face of it we appear to be dealing with a well-intended if somewhat patronizing attempt to impose Dudley Do-right norms on Canadian companies and their business ventures around the world. Let's take a closer look. (Italics mine.)

Strengthening Canada’s Fight Against Foreign Bribery

February 5, 2013 - Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird today announced that the Harper government is taking further steps to combat corruption and bribery by tabling amendments to the Corruption of Foreign Public Officials Act in the Senate. He delivered the following remarks in Ottawa:

“Our government’s top priority is securing jobs, growth and long-term prosperity. In our international dealings, this takes many forms.

(Securing jobs, growth, and long-term prosperity for who? For a relatively small clique of well-established corporate entities, their shareholders and their management.)

“It involves positioning Canada as a reliable supplier of the resources emerging markets need to grow.

(Reliable supplier of resources? As in hewers of wood and drawers of water? Most of our "resources" go to the developed world. Virtually none of our resources go to "emerging markets," and when they do, the Conservative government is easily persuaded to let foreign companies bring in foreign workers, which clarifies who Baird is "securing jobs" for above. Most of Canada's resources are owned by foreign entities.)

“It involves pursuing an aggressive, pro-trade agenda.

(For the benefit of who?)

“It involves creating the conditions for Canadian businesses to succeed.

(Aha! How do we "create" those conditions?)

“But our government also expects Canadian business to play by the rules.

(Here's the rub; whose rules?)

“Canadian companies can compete with the best and win fairly.

(A harmless bit of nationalistic jingoism, but we're getting to the nitty-gritty...)

“To signal our commitment and our expectation that other countries do the same, I am pleased to announce that our government is redoubling our fight against bribery and corruption.

“Today, reforms are being introduced in the Senate that will further deter and prevent Canadian companies from bribing foreign public officials. These amendments will help ensure that Canadian companies continue to act in good faith in the pursuit of freer markets and expanded global trade.

“Canada is a trading nation. Our economy and future prosperity depend upon expanding our trade ties with the world. This, we hope, is a good faith sign that Canada’s good name retains its currency.”

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In the first place, while Baird may sincerely harbour delusions about "signalling... our expectation that other countries" play by the same rules, they don't and they won't. In the international arena Canadian mining companies and engineering conglomerates are up against competition from the US, Israel, Brazil, Germany, South Korea, and so on, none of which are bound by Canadian law. The only reason serious Canadian-based international players ever became that are because they were spreading the schmier-geld around like everybody else. 

The recent revelations about SNC Lavalin make a great example. Getting billion dollar contracts sometimes takes millions of dollars of "bribes."

But whatever else he is, Baird is not a stupid man. He knows full well that the big dogs won't be effected by this legislation. The SNC Lavalins and Ledcors and so on can pay their schmier-geld legitimately. Legitimate lobbying. Legitimate consulting contracts. Legitimate advisory fees.

At the highest levels, US conglomerates have Hilary Clinton making their sales calls. That's all perfectly legitimate. In Canada Baird and Harper do the same thing for the big Canadian multi-nationals. All totally legitimate. 

What this legislation is intended to do is keep the competition out, the little guys, the young entrepreneurs who want to do an end run around the sclerotic status quo. Guys like Dan Gertler or Brad Griffiths.

So the Harper gang puts through this bit of legislative tomfoolery designed to cast them as moral exemplars, while the real purpose of this initiative is to protect the establishment and keep the new guys out of the game.

Millions of BlackBerry customers lose service; stock jumps 12%

You would think the news that millions of BlackBerry customers lost their service throughout Europe and Africa would hammer the company's share price.

You'd be wrong.

Not only Europe and Africa, but the entire Middle East as well. Even Dan Gertler must have lost service to the three BlackBerrys he normally carries around with him. (Gertler carries three BlackBerrys because he likes to compartmentalize his busy life. One is for investor relations; Marc Rich and the Glencore guys have that number, one for African Heads of State, and one for his family.)

Research In Motion, the BlackBerry parent company, saw their share price soar $1.50 on the day. That's a better than 12% bump.

Didn't I tell you months ago that this stock was a day-traders dream?

Dan Gertler nominates himself for Nobel Prize

I fear things are going somewhat off the rails over there in Dan's Republic. Just a day after a Bloomberg article appeared in which Gertler goes to extreme lengths in tooting his own horn, some of his DRC business partners are already running for cover.

In Gertler's defense, he has a point when he says that guys like him bring something to the table when they do business in places and with people that no one else will. Whether their rewards for bringing that "something" are commensurate with the benefits that accrue to the host country is another matter.

The answer is probably not, but that is generally true whether the outside business is a big-name operator like Barrick or Xstrata or an in-the-shadows guy like Gertler. Multinational mining companies aren't in the business of development; they're in the business of maximizing their profits.

Anyway, thanks to his candid Bloomberg tell-all, perhaps Dan has succeeded in shining some much-needed light on this subject.

Storm clouds over Dan's Republic

The Democratic Republic of Congo is one of those African nations that has yet to grow into its potential in the post-colonial era. There's a certain segment of old-school pinkos who lay the blame for this on the legacy of colonialism.

I blame Dan Gertler. Gertler is the international man of mystery who has done a really great job of enriching himself with a wide range of business activities in the DRC. In fact, Gertler's net worth after a couple of decades of wheeling and dealing in the Congo is greater than the country's GDP!

Then I read Alex Engwete's impassioned defense of Gertler, and maybe he has a point or two. The Gertlers of the world do bring something to the table, and I agree that notions of transparency transposed willy-nilly onto emerging economies fail to take into consideration the realities of doing business in that kind of environment. Successful developed economies all had their share of crooks, swindlers, scallywags and carpet-baggers make their contribution in the course of their evolution.

But Dan's fabulous Congolese adventure may be facing a dark future, and it's all got to do with players much bigger than him. As part of the long term Africom strategy to remake Africa as an American fiefdom, the M23 rebel army is rapidly making inroads in the country. That's a rebel army underwritten and directed by our erstwhile ally, Rwanda.

But Dan's a land-on-his-feet kind of guy. He's probably making deals with the M23 commanders already!

World Statesman of the Year has no problem sucking up to corrupt president of the Congo

On the face of it this doesn't make a lot of sense. There's big Steve swanning around Kinshasha in the company of some of the most corrupt robber-politicos the world has ever seen, according to all the do-gooder NGO's who make it their business to follow this sort of thing.

Could this be the same Stephen Harper who doesn't want to address the UN because it houses too many corrupt and anti-democratic delegations with darkish skin?

Could this be the same Canadian Prime Minister who closed Canada's embassy in Tehran because, oh my gawd, that filthy regime of towellers OPPRESS THEIR PEOPLE?

By virtually any standard you want to invent, the oppressed citizens of the Islamic Republic have it way better than the oppressed citizens of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

But there's the World Statesman of the Year, spending a couple of days hanging out in Kinshasha to address the Francophonie.

But wait a minute. I have a theory.

Think Chabad Lubavitch.

Isn't Canadian Foreign Minister John Baird's "personal Rabbi" a Lubavitcher?

And isn't that World Statesman of the Year award presented by Rabbi Arthur Schneier? Why indeed it is, and he too is a Lubavitcher, and not only does he present the award, he invented it!

Now try to focus here, because this is where things get interesting. A certain Lubavitcher named Dan Gertler has been at the center of DRC corruption controversies for years. He's really tight with DRC President Joseph Kabila, as he was with former President Laurent Kabila till he was assassinated.

Having democratically elected offices pass from father to son is just how things work in some of those places.

Gertler has magical powers to get lucrative mining concessions from the DRC government, even after others have bought and paid for them! And guess what? He is the biggest benefactor of the Chabad Lubavitch House in Kinshasha!

What's extra funny is that a whole string of Canadian mining companies have been screwed over by Gertler's antics in the DRC!

Now before you think I'm shilling for the Canadian mining industry, let me assure you such is not the case.

But you'd almost think Prime Minister Harper should be.