Some guys have all the luck; massive oil discovery in Dan's Republic of Congo

Dan Gertler, the man who really understands negroes, claims to have made a huge oil discovery under Lake Albert in the north of the DRC.

Gertler is the second wealthiest man in Dan's Republic after President Joseph Kabila, although there is speculation in some quarters that Kabila is merely a figurehead, as it were, while Gertler himself wields the real power.

Gertler is a truly self-made man who arrived in DRC almost twenty years ago with only $27 in his pocket but a further $50 millions in a satchel, which he forthwith "loaned" to the father of the current president. The rest, as they say, is history.

Ever since that fortuitous loan, Gertler has gone from strength to strength and tax haven to tax haven as his manifold Congolese investments spew forth a gusher of profits for the shrewd investor... and that's before this bounteous bombshell.

Gertler claims this oil find could boost the impoverished nation's GDP by a full 25%. We'd be reluctant to bet on that, but there can be no doubt that it will surely enhance Gertler's accounts in those tax havens by such sums.

Gertler has in the past considered nominating himself for a Nobel Prize in recognition of his civilizing efforts in the DRC but held back because of his overwhelming sense of humility. We say enough of that; step out from the shadows and take a bow!

Dan Gertler for the Nobel!...

It sure pays to understand negroes!

World Statesman of the Year has no problem sucking up to corrupt president of the Congo

On the face of it this doesn't make a lot of sense. There's big Steve swanning around Kinshasha in the company of some of the most corrupt robber-politicos the world has ever seen, according to all the do-gooder NGO's who make it their business to follow this sort of thing.

Could this be the same Stephen Harper who doesn't want to address the UN because it houses too many corrupt and anti-democratic delegations with darkish skin?

Could this be the same Canadian Prime Minister who closed Canada's embassy in Tehran because, oh my gawd, that filthy regime of towellers OPPRESS THEIR PEOPLE?

By virtually any standard you want to invent, the oppressed citizens of the Islamic Republic have it way better than the oppressed citizens of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

But there's the World Statesman of the Year, spending a couple of days hanging out in Kinshasha to address the Francophonie.

But wait a minute. I have a theory.

Think Chabad Lubavitch.

Isn't Canadian Foreign Minister John Baird's "personal Rabbi" a Lubavitcher?

And isn't that World Statesman of the Year award presented by Rabbi Arthur Schneier? Why indeed it is, and he too is a Lubavitcher, and not only does he present the award, he invented it!

Now try to focus here, because this is where things get interesting. A certain Lubavitcher named Dan Gertler has been at the center of DRC corruption controversies for years. He's really tight with DRC President Joseph Kabila, as he was with former President Laurent Kabila till he was assassinated.

Having democratically elected offices pass from father to son is just how things work in some of those places.

Gertler has magical powers to get lucrative mining concessions from the DRC government, even after others have bought and paid for them! And guess what? He is the biggest benefactor of the Chabad Lubavitch House in Kinshasha!

What's extra funny is that a whole string of Canadian mining companies have been screwed over by Gertler's antics in the DRC!

Now before you think I'm shilling for the Canadian mining industry, let me assure you such is not the case.

But you'd almost think Prime Minister Harper should be.