Locker room talk

I thought both Trump and the media lowered the decorum bar with that entire grab-em-by-the-pussy business.

But the story did seem to facilitate a general coarsening of discourse. Perhaps that's what led Jeremy Roenick to conclude that putting his own locker room fantasy life in a podcast was a good plan.

It wasn't.

Roenick had a pretty good run at the top level and probably has a few millions to tide him over the jobless bump.

Wonder what Don Cherry would say?

What would Don Cherry say?

Chrystia Freeland is out as FM, or "Minister of Global Affairs." She can thank her gaffe-prone handling of the NAFTA file and her ludicrous championing of the "Lima Group," that hodge-podge of neo-fascist Latin American states clamouring to depose the democratically elected Maduro in Venezuela. (Why? Because Uncle Sam said so...)

Mike Babcock is out as Minister of Maple Leafs. He can thank his gaffe-prone handling of Canada's Team, although to be fair, he's something of the fall guy here. The real culprits remain secure in their corner office suites at Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment HQ.


You gotta wonder what Don Cherry would say...

A concussion was a bad headache that went away

Me and the Farm Manager were just having a discussion about a side gig Don Cherry used to have back in the day.

Rock 'em sock 'em hockey.

That was a thing. Don Cherry made a lot of money off that shit.

At the time, it didn't occur to us that every time some hapless rookie got rocked or socked, or as Don would put it, "got his bell rung," what actually happened was they'd just suffered a concussion.

I too, non-poppy-wearing immigrant that I am, had my bell rung more than once.

I played my hockey in the GE house league. We had a communist union leader at the time. The union leader might have been a commie, but the rank and file didn't mind bashing each other's brains out on the ice.

Little did we realize that at least half a dozen guys walked away with concussions every Sunday morning.

That would be a big deal today.

Back then it meant nothing. A concussion was just a bad headache that went away.


You just had to play through it.

Poppy fever

Looks like a toxic brew of political correctitude and poppy fever just ended Don Cherry's run. That's OK with me; he's at least ten or fifteen years past his stale date. Ron's probably over too.

Poppy fever runs wild at this time of year. We gotta remember all those folks who made the ultimate sacrifice, after all. Fair enough. What they made the ultimate sacrifice for, though, isn't something you're supposed to bring up at such a solemn moment.

Take Afghanistan for example. What were Canadian Forces "defending" in Afghanistan? What was achieved, besides 158 dead, thousands more injured, and even more thousands crippled by PTSD?


For all that, and for the billions of dollars squandered, we accomplished what?

That's the kind of question that veterans, and indeed, all of us, should be asking, especially at this time of year.

Leafs still suck on ice, but new jerseys sure look sharp!

I see where the new Maple Leafs brain trust has unveiled a new logo.

And not only do those new jerseys look sharp, the new logo is apparently fraught with deeper meaning!

I suppose that partially compensates Leaf Nation for the fact that the new management team, old-boy NHL insiders every one, haven't been able to unveil a new attitude on the ice.

That's quite a team... Shanahan had what qualifications to be President of Hockey Operations?

Lou last won a Stanley in 2003. That's 13 years ago. The world has changed and so has the game.

And Babcock? Well, good for him for finally getting that set-for-life contract, but seriously... what's he brought so far?

As far as I'm concerned, you could have saved many millions by offering Don Cherry the combined President/GM/Coach position, and I'm sure he would have been happy to do it just for the coach's paycheque.

Hell, Don could lace up the Bauers and he'd be the first Pres/GM/PLAYER-coach in league history!

And he'd do more on the ice than some of the stiffs out there wearing that new logo.

Canadians celebrate glorious triumph over lone gunman who failed to bring down state

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it all a bit much.

The facts; a troubled 32 year old Canadian drug addict, armed with an antique hunting rifle, murdered a Canadian soldier in cold blood, and then stormed into the parliament buildings, where he was dispatched to his reward by the very professional actions of the Sergeant-at-Arms, Kevin Vickers.

That's the story, and that's where it should stay.

Instead, we've got politicians of all stripes, and their media fans across the political spectrum, making this out to be some great victory of good over evil.

Here's what should matter. If Mike Bibeau had been given some psychiatric attention, which he was clearly looking for, this incident would never have happened. Instead, he gets all sorts of media attention after the fact, which will only encourage the next Bibeau who has exhausted all his options and wants to go out in a blaze of glory.

The politicians, especially the Harper gang, are milking this to the max. This was a terrorist attack, not the last suicide-by-cop chapter in the life of some desperate and isolated loser. Yes, we are canadastrong, we will not be cowed by terrorists...

And the ever-accommodating media are all over this frenzy of jingoism. Yesterday's CFL game between Ottawa and Montreal never matched the spectacle of the pre-game ceremony celebrating Canadian resolve in the face of terrorism. They even had the biggest Canadian flag in history available for the occasion! The televised OHL game between Kitchener and Owen Sound likewise paled in comparison to the pre-game tribute to our military.

Tonight's NHL game on the CBC was similarly preceded by a rousing tribute to the great Canadian spirit, as exemplified by the heroic actions of our courageous men and women in uniform, who so far as I can tell, made news this past week by getting run over by a car or being shot in the back.

And then Don Cherry gave over the entirety of Coach's Corner with more of the same, which was a disappointment to anybody who just wanted to watch the Leafs play the Bruins.

Clearly, this past week has been an emotional one... and just as clearly, Ottawa and her media acolytes are working over-time to manipulate those emotions...

LET'S TEACH THOSE ISLAMIC TERRORISTS A LESSON THEY'LL NEVER FORGET!!!

Bombs away...

Rob Ford goes global

Hadley Freeman offers the finest analysis of the Rob Ford saga that I've seen anywhere, and she's writing in a British paper.

Ford is not just some rogue making a bad name for crack-heads, he's revealing some profound truths about Canada's soul.

Don Cherry's gonna have something to say about that.

Hope Dana White is reading this, because Ford v Cherry could make serious money on pay-per-view. They used to be pals, or at least fellow-travellers, but Don draws the line at a few pops at party time.

We need Hadley to write up Don. He reveals more about Canada than Rob Ford does.

Don Cherry goes multi-cultural

Don Cherry is the hockey commentator well-bred CBC viewers love to hate. He's a leading apologist for old-style rock-em sock-em hockey as the game was meant to be played. Unfortunately his main soap-box is provided by the effete CBC in their weekly "Coach's Corner" segment.

CBC fans would much prefer a well-educated hockey commentator like Ken Dryden. He knows lots of big words and has a law degree and resides in the Canadian Senate. That's a CBC kind of hockey commentator.

Ken can be counted on to have a couple of major opinion pieces in the Globe or the Star every hockey season about how fighting ruins hockey etc. We all know the drill; it debilitates the skill players, it slows down the game, and blah blah blah all the way to the Kleenex box.

Oddly enough, you never see anybody leave the arena when a fight breaks out. Not even the CBC types.

But what's this? Is Don crossing over to the sensitive side? He's  in all the papers today sticking up for Nazim  Kadri, the first and only Islamic player in professional hockey.

And Don's criticism is aimed squarely at the management of the Toronto Maple Leafs, i.e. Brian Burke, another supposed stalwart of the old school.

What the hell is going on?

I agree with Don that Kadri hasn't gotten a fair shake from the Leafs. I'm just shocked to hear Don spell it out.

You need to go a step further, Don, and I know it's gonna be tough for you because you're an old school guy and a former coach and loyalty to the old boys fraternity means everything. But is it not painfully obvious that the problem in Toronto is Brian Burke?

OK, maybe it wasn't the coach...

Alright Mr. Burke, your new coach is one for three.

That's not what we'd call an improvement. We got one for three out of your old coach all the time.

That's good enough to avoid the playoffs in perpetuity. But you could have done that with the old coach.

Got any plans to bring our team to the playoffs? After all, as a fan I like to pretend that it's "our" team. Not a profit center for some faceless pension plan.

Sooner or later, Mr. Burke, you're going to run out of excuses. You're the General Manager. You're the guy who makes the deals. You're the hockey mind who decided to build a tough no-nonsense team around Phil Kessel and Dion Phaneuf.

What we need is a new kind of hockey mind.

Maybe you could get a job with the CBC. I hear they're being pressured to fire Cherry. Maybe you could pick up that slot.

GM's corner with Brian Burke.

NHL tough guys threaten Don Cherry with legal action

Many years ago I played a bit of hockey in the Guelph Industrial League. It was a tough arena, full of wanna-be pros killing time and former Junior players staying busy. It was the bad old days of ice hockey. A few guys were just starting to wear helmets. I never owned one.

I had the privilege of playing both with and against guys who had played in the AHL, both against and with Don Cherry. Believe me, it was a lot more fun playing with them than against them.

I remember a certain Mike Mahoney.  Spent most of his pro career in the AHL, with the Hershey Bears. Washed up has-been by the time he got to our league. But you pissed your hockey pants when you saw him coming down your wing. You really didn't want to get run over by Mike Mahoney.

Don Cherry made his living in those climes for many years. Then he reinvented himself as a hockey commentator. I like a lot of things about him. I like that he held his own against the Mike Mahoney's for many years. I like the fact that as long as he's been in the commentator booth he's told it like he sees it.

There's also been plenty that didn't impress me about Don. He brings way too much politics into his broadcasts. Every Canadian who ever stepped on a landmine in Afghanistan is a HERO in Don's book, and he never fails to mention it on national TV. To me they're just a scared kid who had the misfortune of stepping on a landmine. He's been way too quick to endorse some really sketchy right-wing politicians.

One of the finest players, and one of the finest for a long long time, in that Guelph Industrial League was Johnny Hirtle. He was one of the premier players in that league, year in and year out, no matter what former pros or what up and coming juniors were on the ice. He maintained that status from his late teens to his late forties. Then it was a detached retina and a bad divorce and a job moved to Mexico that sidelined him. Jobs moving to Mexico kicked the shit out of the Guelph Industrial League. Don't know if they got a hockey thing going on in Mexico or not. I doubt it.

Johnny woulda loved Don and Don woulda loved Johnny. Both were guys who played the game because they loved it. Lately Don has come under attack from guys who loved the game because they loved the money. Enforcers. Tough guys.

Money was never the issue for Johnny, or for me, or, I suspect, for Don or for Mike Mahoney. But today, guys with half of Johnny's talent, or Don's, or Mike's are making millions in the NHL. And I think what Don was ranting about was the guys who made millions as enforcers, had no particular hockey talents, and then turn around and whine about how they got concussions and the game needs to be cleaned up.

Clean up hockey and you've got figure skating with a puck.