Bill Ackman shows why hedge fund slime tactics need to be regulated

The NYT has an expose of the lengths to which Pershing Square Capital boss Bill Ackman will go to lobby regulators and elected officials to aid him in his campaign against Herbalife.

I've never bought a Herbalife product and generally can't get too enthused about any direct-marketing scheme, be it Amway or Mary Kay or whatever, but like them or not they've been a part of the business scene for generations. Whatever flim-flam and unrealistic expectations they're peddling pales in comparison to what Ackman is doing.

Among other things, he's giving hedgies a bad name. This isn't "capitalism", it's rank cynical opportunism. It's a bully trying to destroy the value of another company with tactics made possible by his deep pockets and political connections.

What would stop this foolishness? A 100% tax on non-productive economic activity. Take the incentive away completely. Let Mr. Ackman and those like him use their talents and their money to make constructive contributions to the society they're a part of.

Many, many entrepreneurs have proven that can be profitable too.

Battle of the market manipulators

It must be a sweet place to be when the very fact that news of your stake in a publicly listed company can, absent of any other news, drive up that company's share price.

Success becomes inevitable.

A few weeks ago hedge fund bully Bill Ackerman announced he had taken a major short position in Herbalife and intended to drive the share price to zero.

That announcement alone was enough to take him about a quarter of the way to his goal.

Today another hedge fund bully announced that he has amassed a big position in Herbalife and intended to stay in the stock for the long run.

That announcement alone was enough to bump the share price almost eight percent on the day.

Dueling douche-bags!

This should be good!

Bill Ackman dons mantle of righteousness

Taking a break from his screw-over of Canadian Pacific Railway, "activist investor" Bill Ackman is making headlines with his pledge to drive the value of Herbalife shares to zero.

And even though Ackman claims his Pershing Square hedge fund has accumulated an enormous short position in Herbalife, Bill says he's not doing this for the money. In fact, he says that in the event he makes any, he will donate the gains to charity.

Bill is doing this for "poor people" says Bill. Poor schmucks in Africa who have been beguiled into believing that they too can get rich as a Herbalife distributor.

Hell, I figure anybody that stunned is just a patsy waiting to be fleeced anyway. But it sure is nice that Bill cares.

Frankly, anyone seriously interested in getting rich would be well advised to copy Bill's MO. That "activist investor" shtick has worked wonders for him. All he has to do is take a minority position in a company, and then manipulate the media to publicize the pending shake-down... sorry, I meant to say shake-up of management.

Viola! The publicity itself will produce astonishing results in Ackman's portfolio.

So if you're a young keener with a hunger for riches, forget that Herbalife nonsense.

Gather up a few friends, pool your resources, and become an activist investor like Bill Ackman.