DIY laser surgery

I was taking in the long-awaited Lance confession on the Oprah network, when this commercial comes on informing me that I can save thousands of dollars by erasing my wrinkles with this handy laser tool, in the privacy of my own home, instead of running off to a pricey professional clinic.

I'm clear with Lance. This blog long ago called out Lance for doping. When the shit hit the fan we took the view that what he needs to do now is 'fess up.

And this is the end of that. Ya, he'll have some loose ends to tie up with a few of those folks he sued over the years, but that's his problem.

So I do have a few wrinkles, but too few to mention. Find they lend a bit of character actually. But still, the idea that you can do laser surgery on yourself at home... well, that seems a bit messed up.

Mind you, for 79 bucks I think it would be cool to have the tool. Even if you never get around to giving yourself laser surgery I'm sure there's lots of other useful applications.

If you have a wrinkly dog you could give it a try there.

You could light the BBQ with it.

Fire up them fatties.

Start campfires.

I'm sure there's going to be a wave of self-righteous twats all over this Lance confession claiming that it isn't nearly enough. The ever-unctuous Dick Pound is bound to weigh in on the matter, at which point I hope Lance tells him to pound dick.

Gosh... where did that come from?

But seriously, it's time to leave Lance alone. Is it "cheating" when everybody else is doing it? No, it's creating a level playing field.

Now that he's 'fessed up it's time to move on.

Although I must say I'm still curious about what he got paid to 'fess on Oprah...

And if times get really tough for Lance, we might yet see him as the official spokesman for the DIY home laser-surgery kit.

Armstrong vs. Armstrong

It's a day of hero worship and hero trauma in America.

The top stories all across the spectrum were about what a hero Neil Armstrong was. Everybody is leading with that and probably will for a couple of days, unless we get another mass shooting or Israel's attack on Iran interrupting the news cycle.

Not to take anything away from Neil; he was the first man to set foot on the moon after all. But in what way is he more courageous than Buzz Aldrin, the second man to set foot on the moon? And how were either of them more courageous than Mike Collins, who stayed back in the orbiter?

I think it takes courage to sign up for the astronaut program. Once you're there, whether you're the first guy or the second guy to walk in space or play golf on the moon is pretty much up to the luck of the draw.

So let's dial back the hero worship.

Meanwhile, former hero Lance Armstrong is busy putting a happy face on his situation. He is rising above the fray, which some of his critics find disturbing.

Frankly, I think Lance is every bit as heroic as Neil. The only thing that disturbs me about Lance's "cheating" is how he pushed denial way past any decent limit. Every reasonable observer of Lance's career hasn't believed those denials for years.

My question is this; if Lance Armstrong, who was cheating, beat out 150 other guys who were also cheating, is he still a cheater?

Or was there a de facto level playing field?