Research shows half of all teens DON'T text while driving

That's obvious hogwash. Virtually all teens who text, text while driving. If a teen has both a cellphone and a driver's licence, odds are they text while they're behind the wheel.

This research merely reveals that half of all teens are astute enough to lie about it when filling out a questionnaire. How do we know almost all teens text while driving? Because when do teens not text? For years they have been indulged while they text non-stop from morning to night. They text while in the bathroom for their morning ablutions. They text at the breakfast table.

They text as they walk to school. Those who ride their bikes or their skateboards to school text while doing so. Once at school they text before class, during class, after class, at lunch and on the way home. They text at the dinner table, after dinner, while doing their homework, while playing video games, and while watching TV.

They fall asleep with cellphones in hand, awaiting the next text message.

Teens text impulsively because it is an addiction. It provides a "hit" of social connectedness and acceptance. It triggers the brain chemicals that give them a buzz.

It makes them feel that their lives have meaning.

Do we seriously expect them to put the phone away when they get behind the wheel?

The happy face of addiction

They say that cellphone addicts show similar results on a brain MRI as meth addicts.

I'm inclined to believe it.

Otherwise prudent and sensible people think nothing of reading text messages while they are motoring down the 400 highway at 135.

And sending them too.

This is thus far a socially acceptable addiction.

That has to change.

Cellphone syndrome

Last week an investigation into the fatal crash of a medivac helicopter in Missouri revealed that the pilot had been texting at the time of the accident.

Google "texting car crash" and you'll get millions of results. Folks who would never dream of getting behind the wheel after a glass of wine has passed their lips think nothing of sending half a dozen texts on the way home from work.

A teacher at the local high school tells me that students are so cell-addicted that the devices have become a regular feature in every classroom all the time. There is an official policy against using cellphones in the classroom, but there is no enforcement, and students often become abusive if a teacher asks that they shut their phone off.

Somebody is profiting from this digital opium. Look at that high school for a minute. A thousand students. Nine out of ten have cellphones. If we postulate an average fifty bucks a month, which I'm guessing is extremely conservative, we're seeing $45,000 wafting out of the building into cyberspace every month.

Fifteen years ago the equivalent number was zero.

If the student body at a smallish rural high school was spending $45,000 a month on drugs, there would be a public outcry and a Royal Inquiry. Commissions and task forces would be struck. Editorials would be penned by the dozen. Political campaigns left and right would develop policy to combat this scourge.

But somehow the mobile phone industry has managed to convince the public that this is all good. Your children "need" those phones you pay for. After all, you need to be able to get in touch with them instantly at any time, do you not?

No, you do not! Nor do they need to text their pals half a dozen times from English class!

The cellphone has become a must-have accessory for insecure teens. They are socially excluded without one, and it's a very small minority of adolescents who can buck the social pressures and step outside the mainstream. The cellphone providers have become masters of exploiting the insecurities not only of those teens, but their parents as well.

Then, when those kids start to drive in their late teens or early twenties, they've been conditioned to check their messages constantly, whether they're at home, walking to school, or in class. It's only natural for them to check them while they're driving. It's what they've been conditioned to do.

There is a word for this.

Addiction.

10 great reasons your teen needs a cell phone

1. Peer pressure. Do you want your kid to be the only one in his or her class without a cell? That's a terrible burden of difference to  put on a child. Would you want them to be the only one in the class who is gay? Or a different color? Of course not. You don't have to worry about what their friends think, because without a cell they won't have any.
2. Sexting. Is your fifteen year old daughter the only one in her class who isn't sending tittie-shots of herself to the boys on the football team? How is that supposed to make her feel?
3. More sexting. What about your twelve year old son? Surely you don't want him to miss this dynamic stage of puberty? Besides, you'd be denying them the chance to chuckle at their youthful indiscretions when they're older.
4. Getting dates. Everybody knows that without a cell your social life is colder than an Attiwapiskat winter. Why would a caring parent do this to a child?
5. Cheating on exams. How is your kid gonna have a chance at the best schools when they can't cheat? There are 101 creative ways to use a smart-phone to enhance your child's academic performance. That's why they're called smart.
6. Buying drugs. How do the kids know that Guido's got a new shipment of chrystal meth? Or Mustafa's uncle just sent him a pound of Bekaa Blonde from the old country? Texting, that's how! Do you want your kid to miss the fun?
7. Flash mob looting. Three dozen kids from the high school are going to run wild in the Nike outlet at the mall. In and out in 45 seconds. Timing is everything! It's impossible to be in on the cool if you don't have a cell.
8. Cyber-bullying. Sure, it might be possible to join the fun on an old-school laptop, but lets face it, nothing says "I'm way cool" louder than when you do your bullying on the latest smart phone. If there's a gay kid in grade nine who isn't on suicide watch yet, the other kids obviously don't have the right tools.
9. If your kid's aren't cool they're setting themselves up to be bullied themselves. Or rather, YOU"RE setting them up to be bullied. Is that the kind of parent you want to be?
10. Last but not least, your kid needs a cell because the future of the cellphone industry absolutely depends on having vast swaths of the public convinced that they need them. There's no more gullible  swath of the market than teens, and the guilt-ridden parents who constantly give in to whatever their kids demand should keep the smart-phone wars raging for generations to come.

You want the best for your children, don't you? Sign up for a plan now. And don't be cheap about it. Ya, I know you can get some "plans" for twenty bucks a month, but that will just make your kid the laughing stock of his or her peer group. Is that what you want?

Get them unlimited everything to show you really love them. If you're not spending at least $200 a month on your kids cell plan, you're not really a caring parent, are you?