Pet cemetery

Two years ago we had a posse of three hounds and two cats here at Falling Downs.

Lucy was the first to go. At the time, I half convinced myself her demise was due to a conspiracy theory involving coyotes. I think it's more likely she was hit by a car and managed to crawl back home before giving up the ghost.

When she died, I deposited her in the woods back on the hill. For a few days there was a lot of vulture activity back there, but if you go by the spot now, there's no sign of anything. The coyotes will get whatever the vultures missed.

I wish I'd done the same for Phil. She was a real heart-breaker, and her passing caused more than a little grief for yours truly. Although I was her primary care-taker and 24-7 companion, she was the Farm Manager's dog, and I had strict instructions to keep her leashed at all times.

I took her for her last walk a year ago. When she expired under the wheels of a truck, half a mile up the road from me, I was well and truly snookered. You don't even want to try to bullshit your way out of that one.

"No, I had her on the half-mile leash, honest!"

Not a chance. In a state of complete shock, I arranged to have her cremated.

She's in an urn in the back shed somewhere now. I think both she and I and even the FM would be happier if I'd just put her with Lucy. Would have saved $300 too.

At least when Chloe's time came, we were prepared. She was well over 20, but we were never quite sure of her provenance. Allegedly she had been fixed at a vet clinic in Burlington where Karla Homolka once worked. I got her from the mom of another vet tech at the same clinic. She went through a practice death a few years ago, which I duly documented. It's in the archives somewhere. She joined Lucy.

So we're down to Boomer and Doublewide. When the time comes, they'll be joining Lucy too.


Truth be told, if it wasn't for all these rules and regulations, when the time comes, I'd be happy to join Lucy too.