Women without wieners lose big at Ivy League women's swim championships

But it's a bad-news good-news story...

Women with wieners are winning big!

They're all sisters in the big pink tent, right? The winners and losers cancel each other out, and everybody goes home happy!

As we all know, America is a beacon unto the universe when it comes to women's rights. First country to free our female slaves, first country to let women drive, first country to let women vote, first country with a female president, first country to send a woman to the moon...

BOO YA!!! America had been number one for women's rights for centuries!

And now, the world applauds as America sets another milestone; the complete integration of women with wieners into female sports!

USA! USA! USA!

When "girls" with wieners are re-writing the NCAA record books, you know America is doomed

Who are we kidding with this shit?

Don't get me wrong. I'm all aboard for gay kids not getting beat up in high school. That's why I was one of the staff sponsors of the GSA club at my high school for years.

That's cool. I've got a smattering of folks with various identities in the family tree, and I'm of the belief that you gotta be your true self.

But joining the girls swim team while you still have your dangly bits dangling is a bridge too far.

And it's the experts at the NCAA who have made this possible.

You would think that the masters of the "American Exceptionalism" narrative would recognize this scenario ain't gonna fly anywhere else in the world.

But no... America's best and brightest really are that stupid.