Hunter Harrison makes good on promise to change CP Rail culture

Check out this story about Transport Canada's "unprecedented" order against CP Rail to change their scheduling practices because they are an "immediate threat" to rail safety.

Reading the story, it's obvious that "Hitman" Harrison has succeeded in creating a culture of fear at the venerated CP Rail.

Now back up a few years, when Harrison was the widely lauded "new Sheriff" in town. Yup, he'd just trousered his fifty million dollar signing bonus from hedgie Bill Ackman, and he was gonna shake up that "spoiled, horrible, permissive" work culture at CP Rail.

Sounds like he's succeeded!

Those lucky folks still on the payroll now have a culture of fear instead of the awful spoiled, horrible, and permissive culture that prevailed in the Fred Green era!

But it's not all coming up posies at CP Rail...

Take a gander at the CPR share price history over the past five years. Ackman was loading up on shares back in 2011 when they were in the fifty dollar range. Peaked at well over two hundred in late 2014. By then Ackman had announced an ambitious share buy-back plan designed to drive the share price even higher.

Hasn't quite worked out that way. As of today, CP Rail shares have lost over half their value from that peak.

The think tank here at Falling Downs would like to think that our January 2014 research report had some small role to play in helping the markets get over their Ackman-Harrison euphoria.

It's high time I renamed this blog the "Bolshevik Bruce Research Report" or some such nonsense and fobbed it off as an "investment strategy advisory"...

...or some such nonsense. And of course charged big dollars for an annual subscription!

Maybe if I could get Todd Hirsch to do a guest spot once in awhile...

Prominent economist embraces socialism

I see where Todd Hirsch can find nothing better to write about than poverty. Good grief! Is the guy turning into a flaming pinko or what?

Just listen to some of his wacko assertions; individuals are more than just contributors to national output... human beings are more than economic agents... it's not right to regard people only as resources for employers to utilize... prosperous economies are often those with lower rates of income disparity...  jeez, what are we reading here, the Globe and Mail or the Communist Manifesto?

A weekend of wild sex

Why do guys have to talk so much shit about their sex lives?

A couple days ago I was having lunch with an old pal, a guy I've known since we were high school drop-outs who found ourselves on the factory floor at one of the big plants they used to have in Guelph back in the pre-NAFTA era. I wouldn't say we're tight, but our paths cross from time to time and we'll get together for lunch and a few pints.

So Buddy's plant shut down a few years ago and he's buttering his bread with a gig here and a gig there; he's actually living Todd Hirsch's gig economy!

After the job disappeared to Mexico, it didn't take long for his marriage to fall apart. Yup, sad to say, a lot of gals find a regular pay-cheque is a real turn-on in a partner.

No pay-cheque? No partner!

So the marriage falls apart, there's an acrimonious divorce, and Buddy's world, in the space of a year or so, shrivelled from a house overlooking the Humber River and a cottage up north to an apartment somewhere out in the boonies.

But he is full of hope! Thinks he's going to have a date with a hottie he met on the Ashley Madison website!

Tells me he's gonna have a weekend of wild sex!

Ya, right...

At our age you're maybe gonna have fifteen minutes of wild sex, and after that, well, lets just hope you brought a book along to read or something... a wild weekend has lots of time left after those first fifteen minutes.

I don't even have the heart to tell him those hotties at Ashley Madison are all fake...

Economist finds insights in ignorance

For a practitioner of the dismal science, Todd Hirsch is a remarkably upbeat guy.


Todd's latest ruminations can be found on page B2 of Canada's national newspaper of record today, where he somberly reflects on what it might possibly mean for an economist to admit that he doesn't have the answers.


This soul searching is apparently the result of his having moderated a shindig of sociologists, environmentalists, and urban-planning types called "What Comes After Oil?"

Well Todd, no wonder your head is spinning, hanging with a crowd like that!


Every proper Albertan knows what comes after oil; Armageddon, that's what! There is no such thing as "after oil" in Alberta...


Mind you, they just elected a gang of rabid socialists out there, so I could be wrong...


Anyway, Todd acknowledges that accepting ambiguity is hard for economists. He's afraid it might make him look "silly or irrelevant."


Dude, it's way too late to worry about that! Just go with it!


"... we have to eventually be honest and say, we just don't know. Once we take the plunge and admit this, we might be surprised at the new insights we can achieve."


Atta boy, Todd! That's the spirit... into the great unknown!


And please don't be shy about sharing those new insights!

Why the oil price slump might not last as long as you think

I see where even that indefatigable optimist, Todd Hirsch, is crying "uncle" over low oil prices.


That's quite a climb-down for Todd. He's one of the greatest optimists I've ever run across. Todd has invented so much hilarious shit that he can single-handedly keep a reasonably competent satirist going for years.


Between the gig economy and unemployed lumberjacks reinventing pizza deliveries, this blog has grown rather fond of Todd.


So no offence to Todd, but just as he's bailing out, I'm bailing in.


In case you've not been following the MAKS 2015 Airshow, there's been a ton of interesting goings on going on over there. Seems there's been a steady flow of Arab potentates lining up to kiss the hand of Bad Vlad.


And while these Arab potentates have a number of differences with Mr. Putin, they also have a profoundly persuasive common interest.


None of them want to see $40/bbl oil.


Why would you want to deplete your God-given legacy for forty bucks a barrel when the world would be more than happy to pay you $100 plus?


The major problem is those countries that don't mind poisoning their fresh-water aquifers with willy-nilly fracking all over the place. That would be the US and a few satellite states who have agreed to bend over and spread 'em for a few short years of a fracking bonanza.


Those are the countries that have ramped up the supply and thereby driven down the price. The last nine months of OPEC's open taps have been a message telling the frackers that when push comes to shove, they'll let the upstarts drown in their own oil.


But that can't last forever.

Rumours of capitalism's death are greatly exaggerated

Paul Mason spins a compelling yarn at the Guardian site today about how we have entered the era of "postcapitalism." Capitalism as Adam Smith knew it died some time ago, and our smart-phones and smart apps are taking us into a brave new world wherein a new generation of humanity will use their smartphones to ring up... a brave new world!

A sharing economy! You know... like with Uber allowing you to share a ride!

Or something...

Bullshit.

That "brave new world" of which Mason pontificates is old news out here in the colonies. Regular readers of the Globe and Mail will be familiar with my favorite economist, Todd Hirsch, and his manifold ruminations about how unemployed loggers will reinvent the economy once their pogey runs out. They'll be inventing new ways of delivering pizza!

And just today Hirsch was joined by Philip Cross, who was given prime Globe and Mail real estate to lecture the readers on how great it is that the economy only provides part time jobs. Cross is way ahead of Mason; in this post-capitalist era, most folks only want part time jobs!

Sure they do!

And self employment is increasingly the choice of older workers!

Well, ya, but that's because a) they just lost their job, b) their pogey ran out, and c) there are no real jobs for 55 year olds. Anywhere.

I guess you could face this reality honestly, and admit that capitalism is failing more and more of us every day, or you could try to paint a happy face on this tragedy and claim we're witnessing the birth pangs of some brave new post-capitalist world.

Mason at least has the courage to suggest that our transition to this new reality could take decades.

Here's a suggestion; maybe, while we're trying to negotiate these jobless decades between the old world and the new, our governments could provide an annual guaranteed income to those who find themselves disenfranchised in the interim.

When Mason, Hirsch, and Cross are advocating for a guaranteed annual income, I'll be joining them in heralding the brave new world.

In the meantime, I'm not holding my breath waiting for the death of capitalism.

Welcome to the Gig Economy

I see where Todd Hirsch over at ATB Financial has fired up his bong, given his crystal ball a good rub, and uncorked another pithy insight into the future of work, which you can see on page B2 of today's national newspaper of record.

We've complimented Todd in the past for being a glass-half-full kinda guy, but today he sets a new personal best for unwarranted optimism.

Real jobs with decent pay, security, and pensions... hey, millennials don't care about that shit! They're "less interested in accumulating physical assets," which is a good thing, because they're not going to be accumulating much of anything other than debts and eviction notices with their part-time minimum wage paycheques!

Which is hunky-dory with them, because they're like way more into a sharing vibe. That's why you'll find four or five of them sharing a one-bedroom apartment... it's got nothing to do with the private sector and the market's abject failure to provide affordable housing and living wages!

And it's a good news thing!

Stringing together a series of tasks or "gigs" makes interesting new demands on workers. Skills must constantly evolve...

Yup, today you may be peeling carrots. Tomorrow you could be learning how to wring out a mop!

And it's gonna be sayonara to Manic Mondays, because Monday's gonna be just another day of working long hours for shit wages, just like the other six days of the week!

But it's all good!

We're in the liminal space after all!

Well, TTFN... gotta head out for my Thursday afternoon gig at the car wash!

Why "destination dining" won't lift your stagnant local economy

In his recent brain-wave on bold economic initiatives, ATB senior economist Todd Hirsch posits that struggling local economies should entice celebrity chefs to open restaurants in their communities, to take advantage of the burgeoning new phenomenon of "destination dining."

This is a subset of culinary tourism discovered, or made up by Hirsch, wherein people of means fly to wherever to try out the latest offerings of a celebrity chef.

The reality is that the more famous the celebrity chef, the more likely it is that a goodly percentage of his employees are being severely screwed over. Read up on this lawsuit brought against uber-celeb chef Gordon Ramsey.

At least those folks were being paid something. Here's a peek into the kitchen of famous NYC pizza joint Roberta's. The writer apparently has no clue why anyone would object to working for nothing;

 Plenty of two-, three-, and four-star restaurant kitchens routinely take on volunteer labor, sometimes dozens of aspiring cooks at a time, to the point where there's a fair chance that a few of those behind the line, cooking your dinner, aren't actually on the books.

So Mr. Celebrity Chef comes to town, hires dozens of aspiring cooks to work for free, and this helps the local economy how?

Come on Hirsch, enough with the nonsense!

Not all economists are bullsh*tters

Unfortunately, when dimwits like Todd Hirsch are given a soapbox in Canada's national newspaper of record from which to broadcast their foolishness, the entirety of the dismal science is cast into disrepute.

This tends to obscure the good work done by many fine dismal scientists in colleges and universities around the world. Too often their research produces results that deviate from accepted wisdom, and therefore their work tends to be ignored by mainstream truism peddlers like the Globe and Mail.

Take for example the truism that extending unemployment insurance benefits prevents people from taking jobs. That's an unquestioned nugget of wisdom in conservative policy circles. But is it true?

Some of the best research done on this topic can be found in a paper by Jesse Rothstein, Unemployment Insurance and Job Search in the Great Recession. It's a bit of a slog, in true academic fashion, and has lots of busy charts and graphs, so let me spare you the trouble. Rothstein concludes that yes, there is some minuscule impact on job search, but it is in the range of .1 to .2 percent; for all practical purposes a statistically insignificant amount.

The underlying truth is that virtually everyone would prefer to have a job. Blaming unemployment insurance for joblessness is like blaming aspirin for the common cold. It's unvarnished foolishness, but it is a core article of faith in conservative policy-making circles everywhere.

Economists like Hirsch aren't studying the economy; instead, they use the presumed credibility of their credentials to burnish half-truths in the interest of promoting an anti-worker agenda.

More proof that being an economist is still the bullshitters' dream job

I've sounded off on this topic before. Last time round it was all about Todd Hirsch and his plan for the rejuvenation of the American economy.

Todd had it figured out that what was stalling the US economy was the fact that way too many folks were living large on their extended unemployment benefits.

The way Todd saw it, once those malingerers were cut off the dole, necessity would become the mother of invention, and those folks were going to re-invent pizza delivery.

Or something.

Well, Todd remains a senior economist, and he is still full of shit.

Here's his latest effort.

His friend flew from Calgary to Montreal to have a meal at a restaurant.

Ergo, Todd has identified an entirely new economic category.

Destination dining.

Yessiree, that's where folks fly to a destination because a celebrity chef has opened a restaurant there. When celebrity chefs open a place, it obviously becomes a destination restaurant.

Todd seems to think that this is a recipe for economic renewal for communities that have lost their tax base. If Wolfgang Puck or Gord Ramsey had opened a restaurant in Detroit before it was too late, the entire sorry tale of Detroit's demise might have been averted.

Disintegrating communities everywhere can revitalize their economy by attracting celebrity chefs, or even better, growing their own!

Between that and all those redundant middle aged guys reinventing pizza delivery, there is a new golden age of capitalism just around the corner!

What a retard...

The bullshitter's ultimate dream job: economist

I've said it before but it bears repeating; some jobs are easier to bullshit than others.

Therapists of all stripes pretty much have carte blanche to make stuff up. After all, that person in the chair across from you is already screwed in the head - how are they gonna know?

Financial analyst. Look at Jim Cramer. He was flogging Lehman Brothers shares on national TV till the day the wheels fell off. Did that hurt his career?

Or how about political commentator? I was listening to Charles Krauthammer for a spell last night. It's obvious the man inhabits some mysterious parallel universe, but by golly he's made a good career out of it.

But the pinnacle of the shit pile has to belong to the economist. And when you get really really good at it, you'll become a senior economist, just like Todd Hirsch at ATB Financial.

Hirsch is without a doubt a glass-half-full kind of guy. Hell, he sees the glass half full even after you've smashed it and used the shards to slash your wrists!

Hirsch has figured out why America's unemployment rate is so high; it's the government's extension of unemployment benefits beyond 26 weeks! And all along I thought it was because there weren't enough jobs. What a stunned twat I am!

Not to worry though. Hirsch has given his crystal ball a good rub and he sees nothing but happy days ahead.

When extended benefits run out for ten million Americans, they're going to take the jobs they've been turning their noses up at while lounging around waiting for the next government check: gas station attendant and pizza delivery! I'm not making this up; Hirsch's insights appear on page A13 of today's Globe and Mail.

Here's how things will shake out under Hirsch's plan for economic recovery:

Smart workers in these menial jobs will say "I can do this differently" or "I have an idea that will revolutionize pizza delivery."


That will inspire an entire new economy!

Yup. If you or I said it, folks would just tell us we're full of shit.

But when a "senior economist" is full of shit, he's given a column in a national newspaper from which to spray it around.