If your kids can't buy a house, they must have made some poor career choices

I was fooling with some of those "how much mortgage do I qualify for" apps that all the banks have on their websites.

As of now, with current interest rates, a couple making $150k/yr can, according to the banks, afford an $800k house.

How hard is it to make $150,000 a year between two people?

Around here, schoolteachers are crowding the $100k mark. Cops are generally over that point. Unionized construction trades are all in the fifty bucks an hour and up bracket, which means $100k plus per year. Nurses and social workers in hospitals are in that range too.

So if a cement finisher hooks up with a nurse, or a cop hooks up with a teacher, you're looking at $200k annual income. Those folks can afford million dollar homes!

If the teacher hooks up with a dude driving a dump truck for the local gravel baron, or the cop hooks up with a Timmies barrista, they'll still nail the $150 bar and get that $800,000 house.

So what's the problem with your kids?

Iran war; on deck and ready to go

Ya I know, this blog has been predicting imminent war on Iran for ten years, but bear with me. 

There has never been a more opportune time, and when US influence in the region is on the downtick and Iran's has become ever more assertive, it's now or never.

There's no stomach in the US public for more war, but Americans love Israel. That's where the impetus for anti-Iran hostilities has come from since 1979. All that our good friends in the only democracy in the Middle East have to do now is start the war and then the US street will be gung-ho for saving Israel from Iranian aggression.

Fox and CNN will overflow with bemedalled experts who will cry out as one, "we gotta bomb the infidels back to the stone age!"

America will erupt in cheers of USA! USA!

Iran has recently signed a variety of trade and cooperation agreements with other countries on Uncle Sam's shit list. The cooperation agreed to includes military support. I guess we'll see soon how serious Russia and China are about backing Iran.

But aside from that, the Einsteins in the Knesset are dangerously deluded. Even if Uncle Sam does come to the rescue, he won't get there before Hezbollah has launched thousands of missiles at every corner of Israel. We're talking about state-of-the-art here, not that stuff that flies over the Gaza fence.

And what will Uncle Sam save once Israel is bombed back to the stone age?

Breakthrough! Twitter now certified to prebunk fake news!

Here's some great news; Twitter partners with AP and Reuters to battle misinformation on its site. 

No more fake news on Twitter!

Hallelujah!

Finally, a news provider we can truly trust! 

Twitter.

And to think this development comes just a few days after the Reuters-owned Globe and Mail introduced us to the concept of "prebunking." That's where the truth-tellers decide in advance what's bunk and what's not, thereby protecting us from potentially fake news. Truly amazing!

Truth, at least on Twitter, will now be winnowed from bunk by the stalwarts at Associated Press and Reuters.

Hmm...

AP has been all aboard with virtually every disinfo campaign in the history of US journalism, from the Gulf of Tonkin to Saddam's nukes to the derring-do of those bold freedom-loving White Helmets in Syria.

Reuters was deep in thrall to the UK deep state since long before it fell into the hands of the 3rd Baron Thomson of Fleet, the Canadian billionaire with a hereditary peerage in the House of Lords.

Yup, we'll be getting the straight skinny from Twitter now.

Or maybe just a shitload of Anglo-American propaganda duly certified as "truth."

Chainsaws and conspiracy theories

You'd have to be some pathetic excuse of a shmuck to find solace in chainsaws, but I'm there.

I've hit the proverbial rock-bottom, as they say.

It was always clear to me that a Stihl was the superior tool, but now, long past the age of uncertainty, I'm not so sure anymore.

It's a conundrum, to be sure. It's paralyzed me for weeks, if not months...

But here's the good news! All that paralysis left me free to do some of those free-association mind exercises they teach you at mindfulness camp.

Think about where you'd like to be. Then, think about what's blocking your path.

I'd like to be in a place where I can pick up a newspaper or click on a news site and read news, instead of being force-fed the most dreadful goop imaginable. Just as an example, look how far down the toilet that once-esteemed title, The Globe and Mail, has gone.

In hindsight, I think the rot began when Thomson got his hands on it, and that was forty years ago. The rot intensified exponentially when Reuters joined the nest. One of the most influential media empires in the world was now in the hands of a dude who has a hereditary title in the British House of Lords.

That's why The Globe and Mail is compelled to constantly spew the most jingoistic drivel against any possible adversaries of the Anglo-American Empire.

Good theory, eh?

Poulan vs. Stihl revisited

Here's an update on my original Poulan vs. Stihl story from ten years ago.

At the time I was heating with wood, which necessitated spending some serious time in the woods to make sure we didn't freeze. If your saw is going through several tanks of gas per day, the Stihl is the machine for you.

If, however, you only fire up your chainsaw a few times a year, for a half hour at a time, maybe not.

One of the things that's frustrating about my Stihl is that it can be mighty finicky about starting up, especially if it doesn't see regular use. It's not just me. My neighbour has a $1,600 "professional grade" Stihl, and he spends just as much time cursing it as I do my $500 not-quite-professional-grade model.

Last year I spent $150 on a carb rebuild, thinking that would help. It didn't. 

Today I was briefly feeling motivated. My Stihl weed-eater hasn't run since last October, and with only a half hour or so of dinking around I had it purring like a kitten. Only issue is that button in the centre of the cutting head that's supposed to feed out more line doesn't seem to work. Then you have to pry the end off it and feed out more line by hand. A pain in the ass, but at least I got it running.

That success prompted me to take a crack at the saw. After an hour of cursing and at least three dozen pulls on the rope, I was perusing the Home Depot website to see if they have any good deals on chainsaws. That's when I remembered I still have the Poulan Pro Classic. It's been sitting in the corner of the woodshed for ten years, neglected and forgotten.

Cleaned it up a bit, poured in some fresh gas, and that puppy fired up on the third pull! And I'd forgotten how much quieter it is than the Stihl. You can do an afternoon of small trim jobs around the yard and not suffer major hearing loss.

I'm reluctant to say that makes the Poulan a better machine. At the same time, there's a lot to be said for chainsaws that start!

Mennonites at the beach

This is a 15' runabout packed with seven Mennonites having a hell of a good time! You can tell they're Mennonites because the gals are wearing hijabs bonnets. 

C'mon guys! What kind of tomfoolery is this! Did the Lord put you on this earth to have a hell of a good time? I think not. What would Menno say?

One of the fascinating things about Mennonite culture is that there's an awful lot of latitude available re what pleaseth the Lord, and near as I can tell, the whims of the local Bishop determines what'll get you into heaven. 

I spent my growing up years near Elmira, where's there's a plentiful Mennonite community. Depending on your Bishop, you might be allowed the following transportation, ranked from the most fundamentalist to the most liberal Bishop:

- if you're too lazy to walk, or your wife is too worn out to pull the plough, your're allowed a horse

- once of courting age (14) you may pull a wagon behind your horse

- more liberal fundamentalists may permit rubber tires on wagons

- some Bishops, especially in urban areas, may permit motor vehicles, but only in black, and any chrome  finishes must be painted over

- or just keep the chrome

- or, once we're at the extreme liberal end of the spectrum, just drive whatever you want!

And then there's this crew. Drive whatever you want and feel free to tow a boat behind it. The Lord told Noah to build a boat, after all, so towing one down the road shouldn't be a big deal. 

Great sight to see, and God bless you!

- 

Ontario recycles

Of course we do! We were relatively early on the blue-bin bandwagon, if I remember correctly. 

Locally, it's Waste Management Inc. that manages our waste. That subtle yet clever name was chosen by Wayne Huizenga, who built WMI into the biggest recycling company in the world, and it made him so rich he bought the Miami Dolphins, the Marlins, and the Panthers. 

They also collect garbage.

Here they collect the garbage every week, but the recycling only every other week. Today was recycling, so I set out a blue see-through bag, per legal requirements, full of clean glass jars and bottles. I also set out a bag of garbage in a regular green garbage bag.

Got everything out to the curb before seven, like the Township tells us. As fate would have it, I had no appointments, errands, or responsibilities of any kind today, and therefore idled the hours away on the stoop.

Just after noon the WMI truck pulls up. Dude jumps out, throws both bags into the same compactor compartment, and off he goes!

Ontario recycles!