Falling in the campfire while drunk

I long believed the world could be divided into two types of people; those who have fallen into the campfire while drunk, and those who have not.

But as the numbers on the odometer of life spin by, I've come to see that binary interpretation of reality as somewhat of an over-simplification.

For instance, there is no consideration whatsoever of those who fell into the campfire while sober.

Nor is there any consideration of those who may have been drunk, but fell into the outhouse or off the balcony instead.

I suspect that by the end of the day, Darwin will have separated the wheat from the chaff, as it were.

Which kinda brings us back to the binary, I suppose. 

In which case, we need to delve further and drill down deeper, and circle around the drain for awhile, something that used to be called "participatory sociology," before it was called something else. No "science" is as desperate as the social sciences to freshen up with some jargon shuffling.

But no matter. Where others see gratuitous preening, I see opportunity. Clearly, the question of campfire drinking requires more in the way of rigorous academic inquiry. And clearly, with my in-depth knowledge of and experience in both drinking and campfires, I'm the guy for the job.

Luckily, I have recently entered that stage of life called "retirement," and faced with multiple unpleasant options, have decided this might be the time for that graduate degree in Soc. To that end, I'm looking around for a school that would have me.

I was thinking Ryerson, because they're pretty open to fresh ideas. Mind you, they seem pretty open to completely stupid ideas too, but that doesn't necessarily hurt my case.

So I'm working on a thesis proposal and also preparing multiple grant applications, so I can hit the ground running. If I can pull this off, I should be able to get enough money to study campfire drunkeness as a participant observer for at least the next three or four years.

See you round the campfire!