Make Canada Great Again

One of the thought leaders at Canada’s newspaper of record has some tips today on how we can regain the swagger he imagines we once had on the world stage. Seems our allies are sniggering behind our backs at our failure to stand up to the Yellow Peril, and we desperately need to get back in their good graces.

Firstly, we need to stand strong with Taiwan, the former province of China now under threat of invasion.

That’s easy to say, but what will that look like in real life? Is there any reason to believe it’ll look better than how we stood with the people of Afghanistan against the Taliban? We and our allies were run out of that benighted land by a gaggle of semi-organized illiterate religious fanatics wielding WW2 era weaponry. The People’s Liberation Army is two million strong and is a generation ahead of us in military tech.

Secondly, we need to make “a big push to turn the QUAD - the strategic partnership among the US, India, Japan, and Australia - into QUINT, with Canada the fifth member.”

The QUAD is another of those confections baked up in Uncle Sam’s regime change kitchen. There is zero evidence that any QUAD actions or proclamations over the past few years has made any difference to Chinese policy, but for some reason our joining this ineffective coalition will get their attention? I think not.

And since we’re gonna be standing with our allies, we better stand with them in AUKUS too. When the commies realize we Canucks just turned AUKUS into CAUKUS, they’ll no doubt abandon their claims to Taiwan in short order.

Finally, and this can’t be over-emphasized, we gotta spend some serious money on our military. Look at those plucky Australians -spending 50% more of their GDP on “defence” than we do!

Oh, the searing shame of our neglectful defence spending! If only we had big cajones like the Aussies, we too could commit hundreds of billions to a made-in-USA nuclear submarine fleet…

That would no doubt make our feminist foreign policy the envy of our allies once and for all!

What are we waiting for? Let’s snuggle up closer to Uncle Sam and make Canada great again!