America's Democracy Theatre operating in Full Retard mode

Let's see if I've got this right. America is on pins and needles tonight because Donny J may or may not be arrested. This could be it, Jan 6, Doom Edition. Every media outlet is transmogified with spasms of hand-wringing anxiety... Reality Check; did anybody other than Trump ever say he'd be arrested today? And you consider him a reliable source? Get the fuck outta here! And the back-story is what... gothic steam-punk neoclassical in plotline? Manhattan dude who inherits 15,000 apartment units in NYC lifts himself up by his bootstraps to become reality TV star. Then he decides to switch to politics and spreads a few quid around to keep loose lips from flapping too much, and before you know it one of his disposable lawyers making the payoffs goes to jail for stealing from one of the payees, and now he's a star witness... are you still with me? This is news Americans care about! This, and OH MY GOD A WOMAN WITH A WIENER JUST WON THE 100m FREESTYLE AT THE STATE SWIM CHAMPIONSHIPS!!! Meanwhile, life expectancy continues to shrink, the multi-trillion dollar national debt continues to expand, the military is becoming a laughing stock, the economy teeters, half the country hates the other half, and the brightest lights, the keenest minds, the sharpest tools in the exceptionalist shed, are unanimous that what the nation needs most is more of the same.