Reading the Globe & Mail's Ukraine coverage as black humour

I have long marvelled at the ability of the Globe's stable of wise men to plaster a happy face on the utter catastrophe that has befallen Ukraine. It has been beyond obvious, since at least the disastrous '23 "offensive," that this war is lost. The US lost, NATO lost, and Ukraine lost the most of all. Regardless, in the two-plus years since, almost every day sees another expert opining in the pages of the Globe, that the path to victory for Ukraine remains open. You gotta be kidding, I think to myself. I have come to the conclusion they are doing exactly that. Kidding. Pulling your leg. Joshin' you... As an example, take Mark MacKinnon's half-pager on A3 of today's paper. Mark is speculating as to how Trump's "28 point peace plan" might be recieved by Zelensky. He argues that in early '22, Zelly didn't throw in the towel when he was taking on Putin all by himself, so no way is he gonna cave when he's got Europe and Canada behind him! I know! You just want to shake your head and mumble, or perhaps shout, "get the fuck outta here!" While it's true Mark has been an indefatiguable cheerleader for Ukraine, he's not a stupid person. We know he's limited to NATO talking points. He knows we know neither Europe nor Canada have anything to offer Ukraine that could change the outcome of the war. So what's he talking about? He's joshin' us. He's pulling our legs.

Doug Ford, the mouth that roared

Did anyone else figure that brou-ha-ha in the Oval Office last Friday looked suspiciously like it might have been scripted by Dana White? Think about it. Don and Dana are pals from way back. Dana’s got the secret sauce that can get the rubes to cheer for… whoever he wants them to cheer for! That’s why I worry about Doug Ford. Doug is Preem of my province. He recently pissed away $180 millions to hold an unnecessary election so he could have a strong mandate to take on Trump. For all those millions, his party gained one solitary seat. I’m surprised he got as much support as he did. At the onset of this unnecessary campaign, he announced he had a plan to ensure every Ontarian had a doctor within four years. I thought, hey Doug, you’ve already been Preem for seven years, why the fuck don’t we have doctors already? But you know politics… I can see Dana’s scriptwriters penciling in Trump’s next victim after Zelly. Doug Ford, the mouth that roared.

Uncle Sam: destroyer of nations

The trail of destruction goes back decades. Uncle Sam has wrought his magic from the Korean peninsula to the Caribbean to the Middle East. The carnage continues. American senator and perennial War Pig Lindsey Graham was in Munich this week, spreading the word about freedom and democracy, and in a sit-down with Ukraine’s Zelensky, thanked him for sacrificing hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians so that no American’s had to die to bleed Russia. Zelensky sat there like a scared rabbit and took that abuse. Left to its own devices, Ukraine would never have provoked a war with Russia. But no, we could not resist. The US spent billions subverting democracy in Ukraine. John McCain and Vicky Nuland handed out sweets in the Maidan! Once our ultra-nationalist pets were in place, we promised them the moon! NATO membership! EU membership! Everything it takes for as long as it takes to put Putin in the dustbin of history once and for all! Three years and a million dead Ukrainians later, Uncle Sam is harumphing about Zelensky’s lack of appreciation for everything we’ve done for him. Ukraine isn’t the only country being destroyed by Uncle Sam’s war on Russia. Germany, the industrial heartland of Europe ever since WWII, is rapidly de-industrializing. Why? Because some unknown entity destroyed the Nordstream pipeline! Now Germany relies on LNG shipments from America that cost four times what they used to pay for Russian gas. But, according to geopolitical geniuses like Sholtz and Baerbock, that’s actually a blow for freedom and democracy! And so it goes… The clearly ridiculous becomes an article of faith, and as Lindsey Graham reminds us, it’s all worth it to save American lives while we defeat tyranny and preserve freedom in the world.

Biden pulls plug on Zelensky, will stand with Israel as long as it takes instead

After a year and a half of “whatever it takes for as long as it takes,” Uncle Sam’s caravan of freedom, democracy, and human rights is moving on. While Ukraine is still shown on maps, it has completely disappeared from the news. Trust me, I tried to find updates on the counter-offensive today, and you literally have to go to Ukrainian or Russian news sites to find anything. The days of Churchill Mandela Zelensky jetting around the world for standing ovations appear to be over. The debacle in Ottawa was his last hurrah. Instead, Washington will now focus its energies and resources on helping our brothers-in-freedom in the Holy Land defeat the terrorist uprising in Gaza. It was 18 years ago last month that Israel pulled the last Jewish settlers out of Gaza, thereby creating the independent Palestinian homeland that was to usher in an era of peace in the Middle East. And what did they get for their sacrifice? Nothing but trouble! Arabs in general and Palestinians in particular have proven over and over that they are not ready for peace and democracy. As former IDF General and current Defense Minister Yoav Gallant put it today, “those people are animals and we must respond accordingly.” To demonstrate American resolve, a US navy carrier strike group is on its way to the eastern Mediterranean as I write these words. Fortunately for the forces of righteousness, Gaza has no army, navy, or air-force, so Netanyahu’s stated goal of turning the home of 2,500,000 Palestinians into a “deserted island of ruin” should be accomplished by the time the USN gets there. Nevertheless, the Americans will take pride in having stood with Israel for as long as it takes (four or five days max), the first time the US military has come out on the winning side of hostilities since Grenada. Unless of course the entire Middle East goes up in flames, in which case we will have to revisit the situation and strategize next steps.

Zelensky betrays his sugar daddy

It came as a shock to read that Ihor Kolomoisky has been detained in Ukraine on suspicion of financial hanky-panky involving the paltry sum of a few millions of dollars. As a matter of course, Kolomoisky’s financial shenanigans more typically involve billions, not millions. It is perhaps a measure of the man’s hubris that he was even present in Ukraine to be detained. He clearly believed he was untouchable. As an Israeli citizen he could readily have stayed home in deportation-proof Israel, but maybe he’s a true Ukrainian patriot at heart, and wanted to do his part for the war effort. Whatever his reasoning, he’s up something of a stump now. After all his years investing in Zelensky’s career, guiding him from the comedy clubs all the way to the presidency, this betrayal must come as quite a shock. On the other hand, he should have seen it coming. After all, it has been beyond obvious for the past year and a half that Zelly has a new sugar daddy with much deeper pockets; Joe Biden.

Zelensky goes home with lots of promises but no candy

Looks like Zelly pretty much struck out in Vilnius. “Our thoughts and prayers are with you, pal, now piss off”! How long do you figure it’ll take for the ultra-nationalist factions in Ukraine to wake up to the fact that they and all Ukrainians have been used, abused, and betrayed by USA/NATO? The wake-up call is long overdue. From the get-go Ukraine’s Western “allies” slow-walked every military assistance package. Ukraine was pleading with NATO to close the skies since the first days of the war. It took over a year to get limited commitments of F-16 fighters, and none have arrived in country. Meanwhile, Ukraine was pressured into showing results for our grudging release of a few hundred main battle tanks, AFVs, and artillery, all of which are essentially useless without air cover. And now we lecture Ukraine about how they need to show more gratitude? Once the ultranationalist factions appreciate the gravity of their betrayal, they’ll hate America and NATO more than they hate the Orcs. There will be payback.

The Holy Grail of air defense systems goes to Ukraine

The news readers at CBC have been referring to the Patriot missile system in those terms. Yup, the "Holy Grail" of anti-missile missile defence. One of the few places where Patriots see action is in Saudi Arabia, who have invested billions in this anti-missile missile system. The result? The towel-heads 'o terror they are fighting over there in Houti-land, who are marginally less primitive than the Taliban who ran the US Army out of Afghanistan, routinely manage to get missiles past the Holy Grail of air defense systems. Hard to imagine this is going to be a game-changer. A single Patriot battery requires three tractor-trailers to move it, and a crew of 90, who require extensive training. It most likely won't arrive before this war is over, and if it does, it won't last a week. But at least Zelensky was able to go home and talk about a successful trip to plead for more weapons from the people who pushed this war on him.

Zelensky; the kind of leader who doesn't wince at the rattle of a machine-gun

What a Churchill! None other than Alan Dershowitz nominated him for the Nobel PP. But then Al had to go write an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal calling out the Z-man for his claims that the Ukrainian nation "saved Jews" during the Holocaust. Ya, Zelensky was a comedian before he was a Churchill. How about that Dershowitz, eh? I'd thought he'd lowered his standards when he joined the Trump defence team, but I just took a gander at his Wikipedia page, and the guy's been defending world-class shit-bags his entire career! Everybody from Leona Helmsley to OJ Simpson! And he's pretty good at it too! But I digress. Suffice it to say, if Zelensky wins this war, the Dersh-man will be on Putin's defence team at the war crimes trials. If Putin wins this war. the Dersh-o-nator will be on Zelensky's defense team at the war crimes trials. Either way. he's gonna be in the headlines for years to come. So who is winning this war? Zelensky has been pushing the Russians back since February. Putin is losing so bad he just held bogus referendums and annexed 100,000 sq. km. of Ukraine. But the forces of GOOD are forcing the bad guys back all over the place. With just a few more months and a few more billions in weapons, victory is assured! Weapons weapons weapons!!! Billions billions billions!!! Sure glad I bought into that Carlyle Group Defence Portfolio when I did!

Where's Greta?

Seems like just yesterday you couldn't open a newspaper or a laptop without the obnoxious teen scold Greta Thunberg getting in your face about how your reckless disregard for her climate expertise was destroying the planet. Now, Greta be gone. You can barely find a reference to her on the news anymore, and her glory days of addressing the UN, the US congress, Davos, and sundry parliaments are long over. Is this because the world heeded her wisdom and climate salvation is now assurred? No! In fact, the world at large is going in the opposite direction. Coal, the dirtiest of fossil fuels, is setting all-time consumption records. In 2021 over 200 new coal-fired generating plants were under construction worldwide, mostly in Asia. So why the radio silence from the most revered climate activist of all time? Here's my theory. The "Mighty Wurlitzer" of global propaganda only has room for one top story at a time, and Greta's time is up. She has been pushed into the shadows by Vlodomyr Zelensky's heroic war to save freedom, democracy, and the "liberal world order." After all, what's more important; saving the planet, or saving the American Empire?

Zelensky PR team tries a lighter touch

Hero of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky finally got his long-overdue Vogue cover. His PR team obviously felt a need to show the softer side of the greatest war-time leader since Winston Churchill. After all, endless pictures of the Z-man marching purposefully from one photo-op to the next in his green T-shirt have become more than a little repetitive. By way of an homage of sorts, Vogue even got American celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz out of cold storage at the cryogenics lab to do the shoot. As you recall, Leibovitz’s famous photo essay of Winston and Mrs. Churchill in the darkest days of the London blitz is credited with turning the tide in England’s favour during WWII. Hopefully she retains her magic touch! Elsewhere in war news, I see where the Z-man has fired both his Defense Minister and Attorney General. Apparently both departments are riddled top to bottom with collaborators. It’s gotta suck when you’re trying to lead your country to victory and the only people you can trust are your foreign advisers.

Canada still recognizes Juan Guaido as President of Venezuela

Remember him? Uncle Sam didn't have any use for Maduro, on account of his independent attitude, so the Americans decided they'd recognize Random Guy-doh as president instead. A few of the usuall suck-ups bought in, with Canada taking the lead role. Hence Chrystia Freeland's glorious tenure as leader of the "Lima Group." That concept never really caught fire, although for a brief period of time, the same "free world" that now joins American sanctions on Russia, were willing to give it a chance. Alas, the 27 nations of the EU soon enough realized which way the wind was blowing, and have long since given up pretending Guaido is anything other than a US puppet. Eventually they'll come to the same conclusion about the hero-du-jour, the Ukrainian comedian Zelensky. Unfortunately, given the American determination to drag this war out as long as possible, many more Ukrainians will die for nothing before the craven US acolytes in the "free world" get a firm sense of the current wind direction.

IN A WORLD OF PUTINS BE A ZELENSKY

That all-caps exhortation has been taunting me from the sign in front of the Kemble United Church since late February. Kemble is one of those cross-roads country hamlets that sprung up in the pioneer days. The pick-up trucks are big and black, and the tractors are green and yellow. It’s home to the oldest functioning chapter of the Women’s Institute, an interesting historical factoid. The Kemble WI built that beautiful lookout just south of town where Grey Road 1 turns down to the bay. The folks are hard-working regular people, many of whom can trace their local roots back multiple generations. I’ve taught a lot of their kids over the years. Until recently you could buy a house at an affordable price. I can think of a few that changed hands for under 100k as recently as five years years ago. Those days are gone. By and large, they’re folks more interested in the livestock report than the international news, and insofar as they consume any, it’s most likely courtesy of CBC News. So what would they know about Putin or Zelensky? They would know that Putin is a tyrant, a dictator who launched a totally unprovoked war on the peaceful and prosperous democracy next door. They would know Putin’s thugs mostly target civilian infrastructure, especially kindergartens and hospitals. They would know that Putin’s plans to seize the capital and remove the democratic government were thwarted by the fierce resistance of the Territorial Defence Units rallied by Zelensky himself. They would know these bold commoners, mostly actors, artists, and writers who never before picked up a weapon, put the run to Putin’s criminal thugs. They would know that Ukraine is winning the war. And while they’d never vote for Justin Trudeau in a million years, when they hear him promise away another hundred million of their tax dollars because the heroic Zelensky needs more weapons, well, they figure it’s a worthwhile cause. When you get your news from CBC, you never have to trouble yourself with names like Nuland or Pyatt and their role in the coup that took down a democratic government in Ukraine. You never have to trouble yourself with the disturbing idolatry of Stepan Bandera among Ukrainian nationalists. You never question that latest hundred million dollar gift of weapons to Ukraine, a gift that has precisely zero chance of ever getting to the front lines, because CBC forgot to mention that the Ukrainian army ceased to be a cohesive fighting force in the first twenty-four hours of this war. So ya, under the circumstances, that sign in front of the Kemble United Church almost makes sense. In a make-believe world threatened by evil tyrants, we all want to be Zelensky.

Sleepy Joe goes to Warsaw; Zelensky goes to Doha

Check out Sleepy Joe's inspirational speech as he boosts the morale of our Polish allies in this clip from Fox News. Note the WTF expressions on the faces of the Polish delegation as they try to make sense of the rambling inanities!

Shared values, blah blah blah... Anybody who thinks our European allies don't sense America's weakness is deluding themselves.

Sadly for them, that realization only highlights their own weakness. Remember, it was the Poles who were quick to pass the hot potato right back to Washington when the Americans had the bright idea that Poland should deliver a fleet of mothballed and obsolete MIG-21 fighter jets to Ukraine.

Nevertheless, the leader of the free world appears to have secured an agreement to wean the EU from dependence on Russian energy, and make it dependent on US energy instead. That's what passes for a win in the current context.

Will this deprive Russia of much-needed income to pursue its war agenda, as we are told? Not so long as most of the world, including putative US allies like India, Indonesia, and Pakistan (which collectively hold almost one quarter of the world's population) are not participating in the US led economic sanctions of all things Russian.

What is more likely is that global trade is increasingly destined to occur outside the US dollar, which in the long run is a greater threat to American power than any hypersonic missile.

Meanwhile, Zelensky's Global Zoom Tour landed at the Doha Energy Forum. His hosts listened politely, acknowledged Ukraine's thirst for justice, and then started talking about the Palestinian people's seven decades long quest for justice to be done!

If nothing else, that's a timely reminder that Ukraine isn't the only tragedy unfolding in the world.

The longer Putin is "bogged down," the more NATO and EU solidarity will crumble

Think that one through.

They've been telling us for two weeks Russia is bogged down, looking for an off-ramp, etc.

Maybe.

On the other hand, the longer the bog-down, the greater the refugee crisis. Poland is already crying enough. Three million in three weeks. What if Putin is bogged down for months?

Perhaps this thought has crossed the minds of Russia's military planners. Perhaps they see no great reason to un-bog until such time as their stated objectives have been achieved, those being demilitarization and denazification.

The demilitarization seems more or less complete. I don't know how they'll measure "denazification." That's one of those stretchy concepts that let's you declare victory whenever you decide.

The fact that escape corridors out of Mariupol are now functioning tells me the Russians are making progress in that department. That's the home base of the fascist Azov Battalion, the most highly motivated fighters in Ukraine. They literally will fight to the death. They will also execute civilians seeking to escape.

After three weeks of the fiercest fighting of the war, are we to assume the Azovs have pushed the Russians back? Maybe.

But I think a reasonable person should also consider the possibility the reverse has happened.

It was interesting which NATO leaders met with Zelensky today. It obviously wasn't a delegation from the serious end of the spectrum. The longer NATO showcases its impotence, the more its credibility wafts away.

They were there as part of a lobbying mission for more NATO support for the war, particularly "closing the skies." The F-35 is the most expensive weapons program in US history, and is foisted on NATO partners across the board. While armchair war fanboys are eagerly awaiting its combat debut, maybe people who know something have good reason to avoid such a confrontation.

As more and more of America's "partners" realize this war could soon move from their back yard to their living-rooms, and the American Empire is powerless to help them, perhaps they will reconsider their allegiance to their naked emperor. 

The cognitive dissonance in our anti-Russia propaganda

It's truly a challenge trying to suss out what's real and what's not in the fog of war.

Lot's of experts telling us Putin's war is a complete failure. Not only that, he's succeeded in uniting NATO as never before!

Then comes the daily impassioned plea from the heroic Zelensky himself, the guy who's fighting Putin in Ukraine so we don't have to fight him on the Plains of Abraham, begging his NATO masters to "close the sky." 

Zelensky keeps having to up the rhetorical ante, since the hot air support he's gotten so far isn't what he had in mind. Today he issued his gravest warnings thus far. 

If NATO doesn't act fast, it's gonna be too late. Once he's taken Ukraine, Poland is next, etc...

Wait a minute.

If he's hopelessly bogged down before he even takes Kyiv, how is he ever gonna be a threat to Poland and beyond?

Canada rushes elite DEI training unit to Ukraine

The decision to dispatch a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion training team was made in an emergency cabinet meeting yesterday. 

The move comes after CBC revealed that Black African students seeking to flee the war had been assaulted with micro-aggressions by Ukrainian border guards.

Obina Ojigbo, of York University's Centre for Social Justice, said that their resident training team would hitch a ride with the next Canadian Forces flight to Poland, and make their way to the border from there. 

"It is completely unacceptable that Black Africans are treated as second-class citizens in Ukraine just because they are Black. White supremacy has no place in Ukraine," she said.

**Breaking News**

CBC has just announced that both Justin and Chrystia called Zelensky and enquired about the scandal. He reassured them that the alleged racist border guards are not Ukrainian, but are in fact Russians in Ukrainian uniforms. The training mission has been halted pending further clarification.

Multiple hit squads gunning for Zelensky

Zelensky became president of Ukraine for the same reason Trump became president of USA; brand recognition thanks to their TV careers. Both of them found out in short order that being "president" didn't actually mean you wielded power. 

Zelensky, and Ukraine in general, has been used as bear bait by its masters in the West. Now that the bear has charged, Zelensky is expendable. So is Ukraine, for that matter.

No matter how things end up on the ground, years of prodding the Ukrainian puppets to goad Putin has finally paid off. NATO was desperate to maintain some semblance of relevance in the post-Cold War era. The allies weren't really buying in anymore. Hardly anyone was pulling their 2% of GDP weight. Without NATO the American Empire is basically the US, plus Canada and the Marshall Islands. 

The Germans in particular were getting way too big for their lederhosen. Being the industrial powerhouse of the EU, they thought they were the Big Dog. They bought Putin's authoritarian gas by the pipeline. They even built him a new pipeline!

Obviously, to keep the Germans in the tent, they'd need to be taught a lesson. 

Desperate measures were in order.

Enter Putin.

More specifically, Putin's military entered Ukraine on Thursday. By Sunday, Chancellor Olaf had sholtzed his trousers, and announced an immediate doubling of the defence budget. Not only that, but he also cancelled the new pipeline he had built for Putin's gas!

Those Germans have long memories! When the bear is at the door, cling tight to Uncle Sam.

NATO is Saved!

The American Empire is saved!

Alas, there will be blowback. Not only on Sholtz. There will be festering resentment towards the comedian who allowed himself to be so manipulated by his American masters.

When Zelensky goes to his reward, a German hit squad is a distinct possibility. But they are certainly not the only suspects.

On Feb. 4 the Globe & Mail reported that both PM Fluffy and his brain, Chrystia Freeland, had made phone calls to Zelensky, suggesting it wouldn't be in his interests if he were to follow through on his threat to arrest former president Poroshenko when he returned to Ukraine in mid January. 

Those calls were egregious interference in Ukraine's internal affairs, but Canada has the largest Ukrainian diaspora in the world, and they tack hard right. Their lobby group in Ottawa arguably has more schlep than the Jewish lobby. Not only that, but the Deputy PM is part of that lobby.

Why would they want to save Poroshenko's ass?

Zelensky was a TV star who won an election. Poroshenko is a serious guy, a player, a man who knows the deep state in numerous countries. A man on a first-name basis with all the other corrupt oligarchs in Ukraine and beyond.

In short, a man who can get things done. But before he can do that, Zelensky needs to be done, it you catch my drift.

Zelensky is a marked man. 

Hopefully this brief essay will help point the investigators in the right direction.

Ukraine Army to train Canadian Armed Forces

Canada has embraced a leading role in huffing and puffing about Russia’s imminent invasion of Ukraine.

 That Canada is not hectoring the Rooskies from a position of strength is obvious. We’re among the NATO stalwarts who turned tail after failing to rout the Taliban “scumbags and murderers” from Afghanistan after twenty years of trying. In the end, the Afghan forces we’d spent years training collapsed so suddenly, we had no choice but to leave behind hundreds of Afghans who had risked their lives working for NATO.

With that failure fast receding from memory, we’re now laying down the law to Bad Vlad. 

Don’t you dare invade Ukraine, or else! 

Nobody knows what the “or else” looks like, but it sounds like we’re huddling with “our allies” to cook up the Mother of All Sanctions or some similar tomfoolery.

Doubt that’ll go far… Europe, home of some relatively important allies of ours, gets 40% of its natural gas from Russia. Once the sanctions bite, Canada will be able to replace that gas. Our European allies will just have to sit tight for ten or twelve years while we build out our pipelines and LNG terminals, and hope for mild winters till at least 2035 or so.

Meanwhile, if our humiliating retreat from Afghanistan wasn’t enough of an embarrassment, the Globe and Mail today reports that we can’t even get our Afghan interpreters out of Ukraine!

Turns out getting them out of Afghanistan was the easy part. In fact, all it took was a phone call from the Globe to the office of President Zelensky of Ukraine, and Ukrainian special forces in Kabul sprang into action to rescue a couple of their fixers, and spirit them to Kyiv. That certainly gives me a new respect for the geopolitical schlepp of our newspaper of record.

So here’s the grim irony; Canada’s bureaucracy is so incompetent we can’t even get these poor schmucks out of Ukraine, an allied country where our military has boots on the ground and where we’re training, believe it or not, Ukrainian special forces!

Maybe the Ukrainians should be training our guys instead.

Dogs of war howling loud

Caught part of Matt Galloway’s show on CBC Radio this morning. He and his panel of experts were speculating as to what horrors Bad Vlad is about to unleash on not only Ukraine, but the “free world” at large.

Expert One was a reporter for a Western-financed internet news portal in Kyiv. Experts Two and Three were veterans of US think tanks lavishly financed by the likes of Lockheed-Martin and Raytheon. All the experts agree that Putin’s gonna go big if he can get away with it.

Yup, those Russian battle-tanks are gassed-up and waiting for the signal to seize the entirety of Ukraine… and who knows where they’ll stop? Poland? The English Channel?

That’s why it’s so important that all democratic nations stand united with Ukraine, because if we don’t stop Putin now, we’ll soon be fighting Russians in the streets of Brampton. The Big Dog, leader of the Free World dog pack, has made it abundantly clear that there will be no American boots (officially) on the ground, but we’re sending best wishes and rushing in hundreds of millions worth of weapons, so that the Forces of Righteousness can fight Putin’s hordes right down to the last Ukrainian.

For the most part, the hyperventilating across our legacy media studiously avoids any mention of actual Russian concerns, chief among them the steady expansion of NATO ever eastward. The semi-official rebuttal to that claim is NATO never promised not to expand eastward. Last Saturday The Globe’s Doug Saunders made the comically stupid argument that if such assurances were made, they were made to Gorbachev, not Putin, and therefore don’t count.

We tend not to hear much about the Minsk Agreement either. Kyiv signed off on that, promising greater regional autonomy to the predominantly Russian-speaking eastern areas of the country. Needless to say, that didn’t happen, nor do we ever hear any politicians in the West imploring the Ukraine side to honour their obligations.

What we hear a lot of is the sanctity of Ukraine’s territorial integrity and how Putin needs to give back Crimea before we can revisit “normal” relations with the subservient Russia of the Yeltsin era.

That’s an especially rich argument when Canadian politicians make it. Twice in my lifetime Canada has agreed to redraw its own “territorial integrity” if 50% plus one Quebec voters chose Quebec sovereignty. Prior to Russia’s “annexation,” a referendum was held in Crimea, and some 95% of the population voted to reunite with Russia as opposed to sticking with the crew of anti-Russian ultra-nationalists brought to power in the US-sponsored coup of 2014.

Double standards, anyone?

Yet here we are. The Brits and the Yanks are promising Zelensky a bonanza of anti-tank weapons. The Canadian poodles, always wanting to impress the bigger dogs, are clamouring that we must assist in the arming of Ukraine too.

Realistically, in the event we fail to contain our confrontational rhetoric, all those hundreds of millions in weapons and munitions will be destroyed in their warehouses in the first 24 hours of hostilities.

But not to worry… Raytheon and Lockheed-Martin will be happy to ramp up production and sell plenty more!

Ukraine reveals secret weapon - Russians die laughing

Mission accomplished... so long as the Russians actually do die of hysterical, uncontrollable, terminal laughter. But how could they not?

Come on Zelensky! What kind of shit is this? You think this will speed up your NATO membership?

What's that?...  that's the new Trans Company A training up for the Azov Brigade?

Oh, beg your pardon. My bad!

Good one, Zelensky! That gambit should have you in NATO before the snow flies!