I'd like to extend my contempt for "progress" to the snowblower.
It's easy to be seduced. I managed quite well without one for many years. But once all the neighbours had one, I'll admit, I succumbed to peer pressure.
Peer pressure will fuck you up every time.
I remember interrogating a student about why he threw his class-mates back-pack out the school bus window.
"Peer pressure, sir."
Yup, they still called the teacher "sir" back in the day, much to my amusement.
But how can you argue with peer pressure?
That's how I eventually came to spend almost three grand on a snowblower, to do the job I'd always done with a twenty dollar shovel.
Hey, if you're gonna go down conformity road, go down in style!
I've had a complete paradigm shift in how I view snow management. I think it's that mindfulness trip I've been on.
When you compare the shovel to the machine head to head, there's no doubt you get the job done faster with the machine.
You save time.
But what are you gonna do with the time you save? This is the critical question.
If you're a pediatric surgeon who can squeeze in an additional infant heart transplant with that extra time, by all means, get the machine.
If, on the other hand, that time saved is invested in playing video games or watching porn, well, give your head a shake.
Between the carbon footprint of building the infernal machine in the first place, plus operating it, you deserve to go straight to you-know-where for your climate crimes.
Spending an extra twenty minutes clearing the snow with a shovel, on the other hand, is a guaranteed ticket to heaven.
Not only that, but all that exercise is gonna give you the cardio health that'll make you live forever...
Unless you drop dead from a heart attack while shovelling snow.
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