New! Improved! And not worth a pinch of you-know-what!

Popped into the Indian River liquor store today to grab a six-pak of Busch Light. For many years they've come shrink-wrapped in plastic. That worked very well. Never had a problem picking one up or carrying it to the checkout. 

Well, perhaps it's another manifestation of that restless human urge to fix stuff that ain't broke, but today there was an entire pallet of Busch in the beer aisle, and every last six-pak was wearing a little cardboard cap. No more shrink-wrap. I search in vain for something that might be a hand-grip. Finally I grab it by the brim of the cap and proceed to the checkout. One by one they fall to the floor. There's only two still attached to the cardboard by the time I get there.

One of the escapees springs a leak on impact, showering the beer aisle with its contents. The lovely Korean woman who runs the joint is in a tizzy. She abandons her post and comes running with a mop. She's apologetic as hell. I'm even more apologetic. I offer to do the mopping so she can get back to the other customers, to no avail.

She insists, which is kind of her. It's not her fault, after all.

My hunch is blame most likely belongs to some millennial keener, armed with a fresh business degree and out to make a name for himself. A half cent saved on packaging across however many billions of six-paks Busch sells in a year will no doubt earn him a tidy bonus and a promotion, baffled consumers and harried shop-keepers be damned.

That's progress for you!