How much fear can you take before your brain explodes?

As you've probably noticed, it's been one catastrophe after another out there in that big old world, at least according to the merchants of fear. Let's take a deep dive into the pit of doom and suss out just how screwed we really are. The major calamities, in no particular order:

• Covid. Unlike what some science-denying politicians have been telling you, covid was never over. In fact, it's back, and bigger than ever! Guess we should have listened to that expert on CBC who's been warning us the vax rate for five-year-olds wasn't nearly high enough! For God's sake, kids, put those masks back on before you kill Granny! 
• Disinformation. It's everywhere! Putin's troll armies are spreading the stuff faster than British Intelligence and the CIA can set the record straight. Lucky for us, Big Tech experts are on the job sealing the last leaks in the protective berm designed to keep you safe. Now that Chris Hedges is erased from YouTube, we're almost there.
• Democracy. It was the French sociologist Michel Crozier who first isolated the crisis of democracy in '75 or so, proving for the first time that sociologists could add anything to the storehouse of human knowledge. Mark Twain actually foreshadowed many of his findings 100 years before, but he wasn't a sociologist. 
• Dictatorship. We who are fortunate enough to live in the free world are constantly threatened by dictators. We are led by the greatest democracy of all time, which also has the greatest military of all time, so it is inevitable that we will prevail. I wouldn't worry about this calamity too much.
• Ukraine. This timely crisis encapsulates several of the previous calamities. Contrary to Putin's disinformation, the real reason he attacked his peaceful democratic neighbour was because it was a peaceful democratic neighbour. The longer Russians saw all that peaceful prosperity going on next door, the more they hated Putin. He attacked to save his regime!
• Energy. The agents of disinfo want to scare you into thinking there's an energy crisis. Rubbish! The German people are fully prepared to put on sweaters once Putin turns their heating gas off. A small price to pay to stand with free and democratic Ukraine!
• Financial. The Gloomy Gustovs and the Nervous Nellies would have you believe all of the above will lead to a financial crisis. Impossible! The United States Dollar is the most beloved currency in the world, and the US can legally print as many as they need. It is technically impossible to ever have a financial crisis in the US!
• Climate. Last but not least, let's consider the supposed "climate crisis." Like all these other calamities, this one too is highly exaggerated. Hate to break the news, but Greta Looney Tunesberg didn't even finish high school, never mind becoming a scientist, so why should we listen to her? Besides, by the time the worst comes to pass, Elon Musk's space colonies should ready for move-in!

So relax! Nothing to fear but fear itself! We lucky folks in the free and democratic world got nothing but sunny days ahead!