The sky is always falling somewhere

For the last two years they've done a pretty good job of scaring the shit out of everybody, at least in what is known as the "developed world."

Everybody I know sits around talking about covid and vaccines and whether they should go to the family Christmas party.

That's a First World problem.

Do you think the people in the slums of Lagos or Mumbai or Gaza City are sitting around worried about that?

Oh, they might have some concerns about Christmas dinner all right, but I'm pretty sure those are not covid concerns.

Probably more concerned about starvation or a rocket coming through the roof.

We are herded from one great fear to the next. 

This week it's Omicron, at least in places where they don't have bigger fish to fry.

Which is a revealing metaphor. If you follow this kind of stuff, you'll know declining fish stocks represent an existential threat to communities from the great inland lakes of Africa to the North Sea to the South Pacific and beyond.

Fortunately for us, the pharmaceutical industry gives us plenty of options to deal with the anxieties of life in this age of pandemic.

First World problems deserve First World solutions.

Whether it's a deadly pandemic or a deadly depression, Big Pharma's got your back!

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So let's assume you're an unhappy kid who hates your parents in spite of all their best intentions.

And just because they had the best intentions doesn't mean their parenting efforts were anything other than an epic fail. Hey, I'm old enough now to have been on both sides of that epic fail!

Kids can get depressed.

You're bummed out and suicide-by-cop starts looking like a plausible strategy.

After all, if you play it right, this could make you famous...

Posthumously, of course.

But that's way better than going out without a trace.


I think it's self evident that a certain percentage of the population would find the above scenario appealing.

In fact, we find proof of that in our headlines almost every day.

There will always be depressed and suicidal young men among us for myriad reasons, but there is no reason to incentivise their worst impulses with the prospect of posthumous fame.

Depression is bullshit

So you're feeling sad?

Great! Sign up for one of those anti-depressants that the pharma-industrial-complex has designed just for you! Just ignore those disclaimers at the end of the commercial where they warn you about the side effects.

You know.. all that shit about feeling suicidal and wanting to harm others and all that stuff.

True fact; nine out of ten mass murderers are on prescription meds when they do their mass murders!

Before they went on their meds, they were just sad. After they went on their meds, they became psychopathic killers.

Now, if you've noticed, the media generally treat these tragedies as preventable. Billy-Bob would not have shot down those twelve people had it not been for lax gun laws. Therefore, we can prevent future tragedies by tightening up gun laws.

And I have to say there is some merit to this theory. I know for sure that a couple of my ex-wives might have gone headline worthy had they been able to procure a weapon. Thankfully, I live in Canada, where buying a gun to blow away your spouse requires months of testing and exam passing. Usually the heat of rage passes well before you're done the course.

But ex-wives aside, there seems to be a big hole in this "lax gun laws" theory.

Why is it that so many of these mass shooters happen to be on the very medications that we see featured on TV commercials every day, where we're warned that one of the side effects might be some primal urge to hurt others?

And then, when somebody on that medication goes nutso, we blame the tool, and not the medication?

Could it be possible that the pharma lobby has even more schlep than the gun lobby?

Here's my advice... not that you asked; life sucks. You're gonna feel sad a lot of the time. Get over yourself. All that sadness makes the bright spots that much brighter!