Miracle in Toronto

That Delta plane crash in Toronto has been the top story on Canadian news networks for days now. But what really gets the Canadians revved is when US networks cover anything that happens in Canada. A lot of Canadians have a bit of an inferiority complex vis-a-vis our big neighbour. We disguise that by pretending to be morally superior. Whereas Americans are xenophobic racists who object to illegal migration, Canadians built a welcome centre for illegals on the famous Roxham Road on the New York-Quebec border. And if that isn’t virtuous enough in itself, they actually closed it down during Covid, only to re-open it when the virus scare, if not the virus, was in retreat. We’ve always been somewhat holier than thou with the neighbours, and I’ve always considered that a spot of compensation for that underlying inferiority complex. That’s why it’s so awesome to see the outpouring of national pride these past few days. On our twenty minute drive into town, there’s a couple of dozen Canadian flags flying in front of folks who never had them before, often not even on Canada Day. You can thank Trump for making Canadian nationalism great again! But I digress. The world’s attention briefly falls on Toronto, and Torontonians are basking in the attention, because it’s affirmation of Toronto’s status as a “World Class City.” There’s no city in the world more desperate to be considered “World Class” than Toronto. While the US and international news outfits have long since pulled their satellite trucks back to the the states, CBC is still opening every TV news show with a picture of a commuter jet lying upside-down on the tarmac at Canada’s busiest airport. For at least the past 36 hours, that iconic photo has been accompanied by a soundtrack of experts trying to convince you air travel is perfectly safe! Maybe… maybe not so much. The fact that all aboard survived that crash strikes me as a divine miracle rather than an argument for the safety of air travel.

How much fear can you take before your brain explodes?

As you've probably noticed, it's been one catastrophe after another out there in that big old world, at least according to the merchants of fear. Let's take a deep dive into the pit of doom and suss out just how screwed we really are. The major calamities, in no particular order:

• Covid. Unlike what some science-denying politicians have been telling you, covid was never over. In fact, it's back, and bigger than ever! Guess we should have listened to that expert on CBC who's been warning us the vax rate for five-year-olds wasn't nearly high enough! For God's sake, kids, put those masks back on before you kill Granny! 
• Disinformation. It's everywhere! Putin's troll armies are spreading the stuff faster than British Intelligence and the CIA can set the record straight. Lucky for us, Big Tech experts are on the job sealing the last leaks in the protective berm designed to keep you safe. Now that Chris Hedges is erased from YouTube, we're almost there.
• Democracy. It was the French sociologist Michel Crozier who first isolated the crisis of democracy in '75 or so, proving for the first time that sociologists could add anything to the storehouse of human knowledge. Mark Twain actually foreshadowed many of his findings 100 years before, but he wasn't a sociologist. 
• Dictatorship. We who are fortunate enough to live in the free world are constantly threatened by dictators. We are led by the greatest democracy of all time, which also has the greatest military of all time, so it is inevitable that we will prevail. I wouldn't worry about this calamity too much.
• Ukraine. This timely crisis encapsulates several of the previous calamities. Contrary to Putin's disinformation, the real reason he attacked his peaceful democratic neighbour was because it was a peaceful democratic neighbour. The longer Russians saw all that peaceful prosperity going on next door, the more they hated Putin. He attacked to save his regime!
• Energy. The agents of disinfo want to scare you into thinking there's an energy crisis. Rubbish! The German people are fully prepared to put on sweaters once Putin turns their heating gas off. A small price to pay to stand with free and democratic Ukraine!
• Financial. The Gloomy Gustovs and the Nervous Nellies would have you believe all of the above will lead to a financial crisis. Impossible! The United States Dollar is the most beloved currency in the world, and the US can legally print as many as they need. It is technically impossible to ever have a financial crisis in the US!
• Climate. Last but not least, let's consider the supposed "climate crisis." Like all these other calamities, this one too is highly exaggerated. Hate to break the news, but Greta Looney Tunesberg didn't even finish high school, never mind becoming a scientist, so why should we listen to her? Besides, by the time the worst comes to pass, Elon Musk's space colonies should ready for move-in!

So relax! Nothing to fear but fear itself! We lucky folks in the free and democratic world got nothing but sunny days ahead!

Don't let facts disturb your faith in covid vaccines

I’ve often said that if we want to understand the pandemic, we need to look to what’s happening in Israel. That’s because Israel was first off the mark with mass vaccinations, and has one of the highest rates of fully-vaccinated people in the world.

Here’s a timely ten minute read, published yesterday; Israel is overrun with Covid. The vaccines have failed.

Long story short, Israel is on the second booster shot - four doses of Pfizer’s safe and effective vaccine, and they’ve got more covid than ever. This is not a new story and the trend has been evident for some time, but that’s done nothing to rein in media fear-mongering.

One wonders if that’s just due to will-full ignorance, or is something else at play? 

The sky is always falling somewhere

For the last two years they've done a pretty good job of scaring the shit out of everybody, at least in what is known as the "developed world."

Everybody I know sits around talking about covid and vaccines and whether they should go to the family Christmas party.

That's a First World problem.

Do you think the people in the slums of Lagos or Mumbai or Gaza City are sitting around worried about that?

Oh, they might have some concerns about Christmas dinner all right, but I'm pretty sure those are not covid concerns.

Probably more concerned about starvation or a rocket coming through the roof.

We are herded from one great fear to the next. 

This week it's Omicron, at least in places where they don't have bigger fish to fry.

Which is a revealing metaphor. If you follow this kind of stuff, you'll know declining fish stocks represent an existential threat to communities from the great inland lakes of Africa to the North Sea to the South Pacific and beyond.

Fortunately for us, the pharmaceutical industry gives us plenty of options to deal with the anxieties of life in this age of pandemic.

First World problems deserve First World solutions.

Whether it's a deadly pandemic or a deadly depression, Big Pharma's got your back!

A further meditation on where my dog sh!ts

I can't figure out what's wrong with Bruno. He's got a hundred acre yard to do his business, but he insists on dropping his substantial turds within twenty feet of the front stoop.

I've been trying to train him. I take him out to the scene of the crime, while the evidence is still steaming fresh, and politely explain, as I'm shovelling up his shit and walking it to the hay field, that he has many options. Look pal, I tell him, the entire hundred acres is your toilet. Be a good boy and move the action.

He wags his stump and proceeds to drop another one five feet from the porch. 

And the Farm Manager thinks this is the smartest dog we've ever had.

Speaking of steaming fresh shit, I'm trying to work through my Sunday Star, and haven't even made it through the first section. I won't get to the International New York Times till Wednesday or Thursday, at this rate.

One of the issues that slowed me up was a three-plus pager by Ed Tubb and Kenyon Wallace about our never-ending covid crisis. Check out this sub-head; "Science of airborne risk is not absolute."

Not absolute? I thought the science was settled?!

WTF?

Oh my God... suddenly I'm wondering what else the experts might have got wrong!

How is underwear not "essential?"

Great news from the front lines of the pandemic! I was heading into town to pick up my blood pressure meds, and the CBC news was on the radio. New covid cases at their lowest since last September! The presenter sounded almost euphoric.

Shoppers Drug Mart has been open for the duration. That makes sense. People need their meds. While you're in the store you can pick up a few things that may not be quite as life-or-death as your meds. Essentials like lip gloss, eyeliner, nail polish. That makes sense too. After all, you're blowing your germs around the place anyway, so what difference could it possibly make?

With so much good covid news I thought I'd swing by Giant Tiger to see if they were still curbside pickup. Since that a-hole hedge-fund manager in Florida killed Sears Canada, Giant Tiger's been my go-to spot for socks and underwear. That last three-pack of Fruit of the Looms I bought before covid are beyond threadbare, to the point where, even if they were fresh out of the wash, their disgraceful appearance would shame the family name for years to come were I to suffer an unexpected trip to the hospital.

There's people going in and out! Alrighty! New undies at last!

I mask up and head in with a bounce in my step... and you wouldn't friggin' believe it; they've blocked off the entire store with yellow caution tape except half a dozen food aisles at the back. 

To my way of thinking, undershorts are every bit as essential as eyeliner and nail-polish. In fact, reasonable people will agree underpants are every bit  as important as shoes. Just like shoes keep dogshit off your feet, shorts keep skid-marks off your Levis. You're already in the store. If you grab some tinned tuna and a box of cereal, how will anyone be put at increased risk if you pick up a three-pack of Fruit of the Looms on your way out?

The shoe stores have been closed too!

Strikes me as ridiculous. But, I'm not an expert, so what do I know...

Speaking of experts, I guess now that our numbers are at record lows those of us who've spent the past year denigrating them owe them an apology.

I'm sorry, experts.

But I do wonder about one thing. This record low number of new cases once again happens to happily coincide with a record low number of tests. In January daily testing peaked at over 75,000 daily. Yesterday Ontario did barely 15,000.

Gee, who would've expected case numbers to go down when you do 80% less testing?

Red Bay Lodge

Me and the Farm Manager took a tour over to the Red Bay Lodge today, to check out the fish and chips.

From what I hear, and this is all hearsay, the joint was boarded up for a few years. It's one of those old-school summer resorts, a short walk from the shores of Lake Huron. Popular with a working class who couldn't afford their own cottage but wanted to take the family on a vacation. They had rooms in the main lodge and then cabins. There's places just like it all around the Great Lakes. Now that our betters have re-jigged the economy in such a way that working people can no longer afford vacations, these old-school lodges have been struggling.

So it was good news when a young couple decided to bring the place back to life, and I guess they were just getting on top of things when the virus struck. After a complete shut-down in the spring they were trying to nurse the business back from the dead, when they got their insurance renewal, which informed them that their annual insurance premium had gone from seventeen to fifty-four thousand dollars.

That seems grotesquely unfair to me. For that young couple struggling to get a business going, they're already up against a covid regimen that favours the big chains. Then their insurance company pulls this? You can bet the chains aren't paying anywhere near that kind of money for equivalent square footage.

You'd almost think there's a plot afoot to drive the last independents out of business. Oddly enough, billionaire Warren Buffet (no. 6 on the Forbes billionaire rankings) owns a gaggle of insurance companies, and his pal Bill Gates (no. 3) is rumoured to be the mastermind behind the lockdowns... 

Which is why we figured it was the right thing to do to drive out to Red Bay. 

As for the fish and chips, highly recommended!

 

"Ontario reports record-high Covid-19 cases, also sets testing record"

No shit!

That's a headline on view at CBC News this morning.

Who can even imagine such a thing? You do a record number of tests and find a record number of cases?

Unbelievable!

Shocking!

Check out this quote:

The testing record comes as the province pushes towards its goal of processing 50,000 tests daily by the middle of October, and more than 75,000 per day by mid-November.

Let me go out on a limb here and make a prediction. I'm no expert, but I have a hunch, a "gut feeling" as it were, that as Ontario continues to ramp up testing, we'll continue to see a rising case count.