Thank God they've come up with an app that will answer that question! No longer does the over-worked parent have to move in for the sniff test. Instead, they can continue to obsessively focus on their phone and ignore their child, until the screen itself informs them that a diaper change is due.
Unfortunately, this tech breakthrough comes too late to be of any use to me. My diaper-changing days were done long before smart-phones were invented.
Then again, perhaps this innovation will benefit me going forward, as I barrel towards my second childhood. The PSWs (Professional Shit Wipers) at Gateway Manor will get instant notifications on their phones every time I shit myself.
I can see it now...
Scene in staff lounge at Gateway Manor Nursing Home. Two PSWs enjoy a break while staring into their phones.
PSW A: Aw, for f@cks sakes, Neumann shit himself again!
PSW B: Again? What's that, the third time this shift?
PSW A: At least! Guess we'd better go and fix the old bastard up.
PSW B: Nah... let him sit in it; he won't know the difference. We'll get to him the next time the app goes off.
Who says there's no such thing as progress?
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